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Dear wise Maxine...gotta love her.

posted 1/10/2009 4:55:53 PM |
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  sugarnspice005

There are those who have probably seen this before, so, for those who haven't, I hope you enjoy Maxine's wisdom.

"Happy New Year"....


As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember
[]
1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written
An impressive new book. It's called ........
'Ministers Do More Than Lay People'



2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink
And be Mary.



3. The difference between the Pope and
Your boss, the Pope only expects you
To kiss his ring.
[]
4. My mind works like lightning, One brilliant
Flash and it is gone.



5. The only time the world beats a path to
Your door is if you're in the bathroom.
[]
6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once.
The seat folded up, the drink spilled and
That ice, well, it really chilled the mood.



7. It used to be only death and taxes
Now, of course, there's
shipping and handling, too.
[]



8.. A husband is someone who, after taking
the trash out, gives the impression that
he just cleaned the whole house.



9 My next house will have no kitchen - just
Vending machines and a large trash can.
[]
10. A blonde said, 'I was worried that my
Mechanic might try to rip me off.
I was relieved when he told me all
I needed was turn signal fluid.'



11. Definition of a teenager?
God's punishment...for enjoying sex.

12. As you slide down the banister of life, may
The splinters never point the wrong way.

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Comments:

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onehornytoad69

Jan 10 @ 5:13PM  
daymn funny thx!
whisperingcomet

Jan 10 @ 5:16PM  
LOL...that made my afternoon...

well that a two glasses of wine
sugarnspice005

Jan 10 @ 5:19PM  
Thanks. Just wish I could have put the pictures with it, but I'm not a gold member.
theSkwirl

Jan 10 @ 5:21PM  
Number 9.. that's my dream retirement!
ynot7769

Jan 10 @ 5:53PM  
but but I do take the trash out.........mostly
borty293

Jan 10 @ 5:58PM  
I can never figure out where to put that turn signal fluid...it's somewhere around the steering colume ..I think.... ...I'll ask Max ..he knows about stuff like that.
casuallylooking

Jan 10 @ 6:24PM  
4. My mind works like lightning, One brilliant
Flash and it is gone.

I know people who this fits perfectly.......Oh wait...lately it fits me on a few days....ummm, never mind..

I love Maxine.......
Thanks for sharing these Sweetie.........



hey, why aren't there any kudos on this blog yet? I don't think Skwirl will mind.
paulywalnuts

Jan 10 @ 6:45PM  
Loved them all
StraddleMyNose

online now!
Jan 10 @ 6:54PM  
Damn, I thought that you were talking about maxy pads...
sugarnspice005

Jan 10 @ 6:58PM  
Damn, I thought that you were talking about maxy pads


straddle_fun

Jan 10 @ 7:07PM  
Geez when I take the garbage out I expect sex for a week...
Sunshine79

Jan 10 @ 7:43PM  
OMG, I just spit my water out....LMAO!!!

Greenie for that!!

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Dear wise Maxine...gotta love her.