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Breaking up is hard to do...

posted 12/28/2008 8:20:56 AM |
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I just broke up with my boyfriend of almost 4 months this morning. We met on this site and he was the perfect guy for me except that he lived >200 miles from me and I had not seen him in almost 7 weeks. What feelings I had for him before I left on my trip to Colorado last month faded away since I've been back because too much time has passed. My friends would ask me if he was coming to see me that weekend and I would tell them, "No, he has the kids this weekend" or "I don't know - he may or may not be able to borrow his parents' car". I went to see him the last 3 times when one of the times was his turn. (Why, oh WHY didn't he live here in town?) My boyfriend's car was totaled in an accident that he had before we got together, so transportation was a huge problem. My friends would also tell me if he really wanted to see and be with me, he would FIND a way to get here. Sadly, that didn't happen - no $$$ and no car.

I used to tell him that I missed him and I was ALWAYS the one who said it first. I stopped saying it in hopes that he would say it first for once, but it never happened. When I told him why I didn't tell him that I missed him, he said that he missed me too and felt it, but was I supposed to be able to read his mind?

He has problems with his ex among other things and I just can't and don't want to deal with any of it. I live a relatively drama-free life and I have my shit together, so why can't I have the same in a man? I felt that the relationship was very lopsided and I had to do what was best for ME, but why do I feel so shitty? I HATE being the one doing the dumping and I hate being dumped. I don't feel guilty about my decision because I was really good to him and he knows it. Just for the record, he was really sweet and affectionate, made me laugh all the time and I really enjoyed the time I did spend with him. I did tell him that if and when he gets his life back on track, to call me and we would see about starting over again.

I think we were the right person for one another at the wrong time.

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Dec 28 @ 8:36AM  
well i can't speack for you or your ex but i find long distance romance and relationships are not good............
i was in one and yes it seems you are the only one giving and going...........maybe your feelings for this guy was like mine for the guy i was with but his feeling was not they just want to see just how far and how much they can get with out giving to much............sorry to hear and sorry your sad.........good luck

Dec 28 @ 8:57AM  
I don't think it was like that with him - I know that he would have been here if he could, but I couldn't wait any longer and what feelings I had for him were gone.

Dec 28 @ 9:40AM  
Good Luck,
Maybe things will turn out better for you and he comes around. If not have fun and enjoy life.


Dec 28 @ 10:36AM  
guess ya gotta do what ya gotta do.......

Dec 28 @ 12:51PM  
long distance romance and relationships are not good

Just my opinion...for what it's worth....Distance has nothing to do with it...well, actually, it does...the greater the distance, the more effort each one must put in to getting together....and if someone isn't willing to put out the effort to overcome a few hindred miles, how much effort will they put into making a relationship work?

I have had several long distance relationships in my lifetime...I've drove, rode busses, airplanes, trains, even hitched....If you REALLY want to see and be with someone, there is always a way.....and if you don't, there is always an excuse.

You did the right thing, Hon....I really don't think it would have worked even if you lived next door.

Dec 28 @ 1:53PM  
I think yu did what you thought was best. It is better to be honest about it than just hold on in case somethingelse doesn't come alomg. I commend you for your honesty. I am also sorry for your loss.

Dec 28 @ 2:03PM  
I'm sincerely sorry for both of you. You both seemed to be relatively happy with one another. I hope it can all be sorted out soon. I know he's gone through hell with the physical aspect.. and you've gone through hell in the emotional side of it. Best wishes for both of you.

Dec 28 @ 2:20PM  
I think we were the right person for one another at the wrong time.

I think you said it best. I think some things need to be taken care of and cleaned up and maybe, just maybe this relationship can continue and you both can be on the same level!

Dec 28 @ 3:20PM  
Well it takes 2 to Tango !! I'm sure he will get his situation together & you two will have another go around if that's sincerely wanted by both parties

Dec 28 @ 6:33PM  
I'm so sorry to hear this. But it seems like the long distance thing is very hard to keep going with couples. Been through that a couple of times and it just didn't pan out.

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Breaking up is hard to do...