After reading a very alarming blog by my friend Straddle called End of Days, I felt compelled to find a solution and sprang to action in my Laboratory.
I have sown 784000 satin granny panties together from my own personal collection in order to produce a gigantic Solar Sail. It is designed to redirect sunlight to the northern hemisphere and will stimulate plant grow thereby providing our agricultural needs.
I've just got off the phone with the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasedena California and they advised me of their intention to launch the Panty Solar Sail by spring of 2009. As a result, my panty stores are almost depleted.
Please send all available panties to...
Bortyville , Canada.
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