***For the record, I couldn't find this posted here. So, if it's a repeat, oh well....but it's still fuckin' funny!**** (This includes my letter to Santa)
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Deer Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas.
I'v ben a gud boy
all yeer.
Yer Friend, Billy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa
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Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love, Teddy
Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me send you some Legos instead.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love, Francis
Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay. I'll set you up with a Barbie.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love, Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of Scotch.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I really want a puppy this year.
Please, please, please, PLEASE,
PLEASE could I have one? Love, Timmy
Dear Timmy,
That whiny begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
Santa
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Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house.
How do you get into our home? Love, Marky
Dear Mark,
First stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house; you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.
Sweet dreams, Santa
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Dearest Santa-
I would like a new Rabbit vibrator for Christmas and a paddle.....
Love Sunshine
Dear Sunshine-
Like I'd give you another Rabbit to go and break? How about you just lay in bed nekkid with your legs spread on Christmas Eve & I'll come by and give you a fat jolly cock and a good spanking you deserve! You can be my little Ho, ho, ho.....
Santa 
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Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
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read more blogs!
Blogs by Sunshine79:
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| If Santa Answered His Letters Honestly......LMAO! |
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Wordsofwit
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Dec 16 @ 10:59AM
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Cute
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casuallylooking
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Dec 16 @ 11:03AM
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Well at least someone is kind of getting what they want from Santa..... 
Merry Christmas, Megan.
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dmbchick420
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Dec 16 @ 11:07AM
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LMAO
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NightOfOld
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Dec 16 @ 11:40AM
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Cute
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theSkwirl
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Dec 16 @ 12:21PM
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*snort*
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onehornytoad69
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Dec 16 @ 12:52PM
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max49
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Dec 16 @ 1:21PM
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zena343
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Dec 16 @ 1:28PM
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Oh my goodness Sunshine they were hilarious!! 
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1bunny629
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Dec 16 @ 1:45PM
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Fat, Jolly Cocks work for me...may I copy your letter?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
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wtxman
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Dec 16 @ 4:57PM
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Now that is my kind of Santa BTW was posted on MatchDoctor
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msvoluptuos
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Dec 16 @ 5:37PM
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You lucky, lucky girl!!!
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chris801
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Dec 16 @ 6:13PM
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hey sunshine!! if santa dont show,you give me a cal  
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straightup_9
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Dec 16 @ 6:22PM
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HO!...HO!...HO!!!.....Errrr....What did you say that address was?....HO!...HO!...HO!!!
Love,
Santa
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sugarnspice005
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Dec 16 @ 8:10PM
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zaralyon
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Dec 16 @ 9:45PM
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Did you listen in on the conversation Santa and I had last nite? He does have a special naughty list and it seems your on it too!
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beefygoblin
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Dec 16 @ 11:02PM
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Well bunny...I have one fat jolly cock, will that do?
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straddle_fun
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Dec 17 @ 1:33AM
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Dear Santa,
I'll deliver Sunshines gift .. ..your busy enough with the other kids... ...by the way I'm looking for a condo in Vegas for Christmas eve...
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StraddleMyNose
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Dec 17 @ 6:10AM
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Pretty funny ones
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texastigress
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Dec 17 @ 7:20AM
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Sunshine, I was laughing so hard that I was crying! Thanks for the good laugh - I'll have to pass it on to my friends. Here's a greenie for you! =^..^=
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