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Don't mess with children...

posted 12/16/2008 2:22:28 AM |
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  straddle_fun

7 reasons not to mess with children.


A little girl was talking to her teacher about
whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human
because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.


The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.


Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'

The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.



A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they
were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the
drawing was.

The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'

The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl
replied, 'They will in a minute.'


A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five
and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to 'honour'
thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches
us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'



One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the
kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of
white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs
white, Mom?'

Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then
said, 'Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'




The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade
them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher,
she's dead.'



A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the
blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'


'Yes,' the class said.


'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the
blood doesn't run into my feet?'

A little fellow shouted,

'Cause your feet ain't empty.'



The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school
for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun
made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

'Take only ONE . God is watching.'


Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large
pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'




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Comments:

post a comment!

beefygoblin

Dec 16 @ 3:01AM  
This is the reason why mothers are more devoted to their children than fathers: it is that they suffer more in giving them birth and are more certain that they are their own. -Aristotle,
wtxman

Dec 16 @ 4:01AM  
^^^^^ I think that this qoute is not attributed to the right person^^^^^

Try Lorna Luft
ynot7769

Dec 16 @ 5:16AM  
casuallylooking

Dec 16 @ 6:21AM  
These are really cute...thanks for sharing them..
I'll leave you a green cookie and no I didn't take it off of the table that God wasn't watching.
onehornytoad69

Dec 16 @ 8:00AM  
cute.... thx for sharing!
Sunshine79

Dec 16 @ 8:22AM  
Thou shall not kill.....
dmbchick420

Dec 16 @ 10:41AM  
Those are cute...thanks for sharing
theSkwirl

Dec 16 @ 12:12PM  
kids rawk.
NightOfOld

Dec 16 @ 12:54PM  

All cute, but beware of Skwirl. No ones watching the nuts.
theSkwirl

Dec 16 @ 6:14PM  
*sneaks back in and tests Nights' nuts to see if they are ripe yet*
sugarnspice005

Dec 16 @ 8:07PM  
Loved them!
StraddleMyNose

Dec 17 @ 5:34AM  
Some cute ones!
texastigress

Dec 17 @ 7:59AM  
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade
them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher,
she's dead.'

This one is my favorite. Thanks for sharing! =^..^=

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Don't mess with children...