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Alone (Repost from my Myspace)

posted 12/11/2008 11:27:10 AM |
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I've always been a bit of an introvert and a loner, but I have never felt this alone before. One would think that I would be used to it by now but apparently I am not.

Somewhere along the way, I seem to have lost the ability to make new friends. I am at a new school, in a different state, with no one to talk to. Everyday I just go about my school business then go home. Even if I could make some friends, I feel so disconnected with the campus given my hour commute to get there. I wouldn't even be able to hang out with new friends at school anyways.

I can't even rely on being in a group or on a team anymore to help make friends because I have none left. And going back to the disconnected from campus point, I don't feel like I can join new groups anyways given the commute.

I have come to the conclusion that I will never ever understand women. Every time I think I have one figured out, she does something or starts acting totally different. Maybe I should just accept it and stop trying.

Recent relationships, while not lasting long enough to break my heart too much(lets be honest, not lasting long enough to even be called relationships) have left me feeling like a failure. Something about way they happened and/or didn't happen is resonating in a way that makes me feel like I am destined to be alone for the rest of my life. They weren't even my type of girl.

Why do they always say they want to be friends afterwards? Its not even like they actually treat you like a friend anyways.

I wish I could understand why I get attached so easily. Or at least, find a way to figure out if the person is worth it and/or will return it before I get so attached. For example this last girl, even though the situation was awful, things went really well for like a month before she started to randomly ignore me. But in just that short month, I found myself feeling like I probably could fall in love with her pretty soon. Am I really that desperate that I emotionally cling to any girl who shows the slightest interest?

I guess I can't really blame them for leading me on so much, its probably my own fault. Maybe I smother them and drive them away or something. Maybe how attached I get makes it fun for them.

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Dec 11 @ 12:47PM  
I think a few people here can relate to that.......

Dec 11 @ 2:00PM  
I feel your Pain...!
Though, I have Stopped Looking.. I havnt gave up hope!
If I meet someone special.. thats cool.. if Not.. than I am happy with myself!!!
I only want when I am wanted..and you sound the same way.....Check your feelings...cause it my be Attraction..rather than anything Else!!!
I believe there is someone out there for all of us.....and will share the same attraction you share!
Be happy with yourself....1st!!!
"Soft Touch" had a blog not to long ago... that hits this Right on the Head!!! Check it out man!! and Good luck!

Dec 11 @ 3:48PM  
Never give Sunshine said there are lots of people here that can relate to your story. The good thing with you is....time is on your side, you are still a very handsome young man, and that special someone will come along and sweep the feet from under you. I feel the way you do, and being at my age, I hope for nothing anymore, and I am to the point where I really don't even want to try. Take care and the best of luck to you.

Dec 11 @ 7:04PM  
If I meet someone special.. thats cool.. if Not.. than I am happy with myself!!!

HornyToad said it best!! If you can't be happy with yourself, then you will never be happy with anyone else!! Your happiness and contentment with life come from within you...if you rely on someone else to MAKE you happy, you never will be. People are human and make mistakes.

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Alone (Repost from my Myspace)