Go ELF Yourselves!!! posted 12/3/2008 7:57:38 PM | 2 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: funny, christmas, joke, holiday, sunshine

Sunshine79

I had to share, hope you all enjoy!

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What's the first thing elves learn in school?
The "elf"-abet!

How long should an elf's legs be?
Just long enough to reach the ground!


Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars?
Elfis!

One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner".
And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"

How do elves greet each other?
"Small world, isn't it?"

Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in?
Mini vans!

What kind of music do elves like best?
"Wrap" music!

How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!

What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with?
Why, shortbread of course!

What kind of money do elves use?
Jingle bills!

Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?
Because he had low "elf" esteem!

What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer?
"First, YULE LOG on"!

Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log!

Who lives at the North Pole, makes toys and rides around in a pumpkin?
Cinder-"elf"-a!

Why do elves scratch themselves?
Because they're the only ones who know where its itchy!

What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!

Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E?
Because Santa had said, "No L!"

Why did the elves ask the turkey to join the band?
Because he had the drum sticks!

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get?
Mistle-toes!

What's another name for Santa's helpers?
Subordinate clauses!

Where do you find elves?
Depends where you left them!


Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Elf.
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present for Santa!

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Holly.
Holly who?
Holly up already and Elf me wrap this present for Santa!

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Yule.
Yule who?
Yule be sorry if you don't Holly up and Elf me wrap this present for Santa!

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow time to be playing games! Yule be sorry if you don't Holly up and Elf me wrap this present for Santa!

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