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Prezidenchul State of the Mess Address

posted 12/3/2008 2:36:53 PM |
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  theSkwirl

Your regularly scheduled Perving has been interrupted for this important message from the Nut House in Pervia City.... Please stand at attention and swing the National Anthem... Oh Pervia!

Greetings, fellow Pervians, it's time for the first monthly state of the mess address.

First, the economy. Well Pervites, I'm sure that you've noticed our economy is floating belly up in the crapper. If you bastids would pay your taxes more regularly this would not be happening. Come on people, there are starving Skwirls who need these green cookies to survive! Right here in Pervia! Where's your national pride? Ask not for whom the Kudo falls.. it falls for ME!

On to Foreign Affairs... I've noticed a sharp rise in the number of Scammer complaints lately.. hell they need Christmas money in Nigeria too yanno? I suggest playing along with your scammer and going to your local dollar store, picking up a packet of monopoly money and sending it to him/her. It's got to be worth more than their local currency.

In National Security, conspiracy theories abound. This one has got to be that one except that that one is not this one, but maybe this one and that one are those ones who might actually be someone except that they are probably no one and everyone might know one or something... when in reality... I have met the enemy and he is me.

But know this.. the Sekret Skwirls are watching... yes, yes they are.. and they will immediately whisk offenders off to our semi-secret facility that doesn't really exist to be interrogated and have their nuts skwozed til they pop. What happens after that, I cannot divulge, but I hear it gets messy.

The Holidaze Season is upon us. No matter what you celebrate, Chrismahannakwanyuleika is here. Donate if you are able. Tree of Joy, Giving Tree, Goodwill, Salvation Army, Homeless Shelters, Battered Shelters, Fire Departments and some PD's are taking donations of cash, new gifts, used toys, used clothing, food.. whatever you can spare. We ain't got much but let's share anyway.

As your Prezident, I'd like to take this opportunity to wish each and every one of you, a safe, joyous, pervian holiday. With lots of toys, and spankins and licking and sucking and fucking for everyone.

Wanna Fuck?

You may now go back to your regular quarreling, bickering, backbiting, bitchslapping, wanna fucking etc. No nuts were harmed in the filming of this broadcast.

Don't forget to pay your taxes!

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Blogs by theSkwirl:
Prezidenchul State of the Mess Address #3
A Paradox, A Most Ingenious Paradox! (The Prez has Speaked)
I've Been Thinking
Prezidenchul State of the Mess Address #2
Happy Dead Guy on a Stick Day Blog
Last Year's Christmas Gift
RANT ALERT
Holiday Scramble
The Pervian National Anthem
By Request, AMD Food Drive Take 2
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Happy Holiday Cards
Prezidenchul State of the Mess Address
A Public Apology
Seems to be the Week for it...
The Unblog
AMD Food Drive
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Prezidenchul Pardoning of the Turkeys
And the AMD Games Continue
Who's Who on AMD part 3
Who's Who on AMD part 2
Happy Birthday to Whapper!
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AMD Who's Who


Comments:

post a comment!

girlcountry

Dec 3 @ 2:48PM  
But...but....I don' wanna go the semi-secret facility that doesn't really exist, so here's your cookie!! Or should that be a nut, for a skwirl???
chris801

Dec 3 @ 2:48PM  
dmbchick420

Dec 3 @ 2:48PM  
In National Security, conspiracy theories abound. This one has got to be that one except that that one is not this one, but maybe this one and that one are those ones who might actually be someone except that they are probably no one and everyone might know one or something... when in reality... I have met the enemy and he is me.

My...head....hurts

I paid my dues
lunanegra

Dec 3 @ 2:54PM  
I suggest playing along with your scammer and going to your local dollar store, picking up a packet of monopoly money and sending it to him/her. It's got to be worth more than their local currency.

Its probably worth more than our Dollar,too! Just to think,a fortune that's been sitting in the toy bin all along. I'm gonna be rich! So long,suckers!
ynot7769

Dec 3 @ 3:02PM  
ynot7769

Dec 3 @ 3:08PM  

MUDSHARK450

Dec 3 @ 3:21PM  
Actually the dollar has strengthened significantly since the summer.

Great blog. Taxes paid and donations ongoing.
DarkKnightWalking

Dec 3 @ 3:34PM  
Cookies, Greenie Kudos, or else this happens....Pay your taxes...
Lisa46

Dec 3 @ 3:44PM  
As your Prezident, I'd like to take this opportunity to wish each and every one of you, a safe, joyous, pervian holiday. With lots of toys, and spankins and licking and sucking and fucking for everyone.



Thank you Prez here's yer nut


wonders can she garantee me a fuck?
Looking4ever

Dec 3 @ 3:53PM  
As your Prezident, I'd like to take this opportunity to wish each and every one of you, a safe, joyous, pervian holiday. With lots of toys, and spankins and licking and sucking and fucking for everyone.

Wanna Fuck?

And back attcha, Prezy Skwirl....and do you really need to ask? Pudge or no Pudge (to join us), the answer is is still HELL YEAH!
Blueyesprkln

Dec 3 @ 3:54PM  
Here's mine. Well done Prez. Thanks for the update.
keepinganeyeout

Dec 3 @ 3:57PM  
you kill me girl.......
heres your kudzo
Sunshine79

Dec 3 @ 4:48PM  
I always wanna fuck!!
casuallylooking

Dec 3 @ 5:03PM  
Hey, I fed the squirrels today, does that count?
I fed them actual nuts... no, they didn't belong to anyone..
Where I live we have squirrels galore in our yards, climbing up the houses and trees and running across our roofs.. sometimes they get in our basements and go up into our walls... or into the walls and down into the basement...

So I bought a bag of nuts and threw them in the back yard while there were 5 of them playing near by. Hoping that will keep them out of my basement since I can't figure out how they are getting in.

Happy holidays to you, Sam.. enjoy your kudo. Oh shoot, I forgot to wrap it in pretty wrapping paper.
max49

Dec 3 @ 5:17PM  
HAPPY HOLIDAYZ Skwirly girl. I think I know the one that really wasn't the one but the other one of which you speak and although there were no nuts endangered mine do have knaw marks on them. Now if ya wanna fuck someone with knawed on nuts then I'm your man. Oh and here's your damn taxes.
sugarnspice005

Dec 3 @ 7:24PM  
Ya know...with the economy being in the crapper...maybe I can't pay my taxes.


Oh wait!!! I found one I can spare!

Whew!!! Now I don't have to worry about the Sekret Skwirls chewing their way through my door.
funnywhapper

Dec 3 @ 7:52PM  
as one of the nuts. living should be for free.
work should be for free. you shouldn't
have to pay the boss to get a job.
and i believe in free love. that it shouldn't cost
money. not even abalone. i believe
in the free ride theory, first propounded
by mr. walnut creek. and all my other nutty beliefs.
i had economics till i was blue in the face.
take the cosine of the future value of pi and have pie
thrown in the bosses face. and then have a pie eating contest.
holiday season is when a lotta old time employees lose
their minds and their jobs. they get too into the holiday spirit.
found fucking their sisters wife, with their uncle's niece riding
on the back of him, playing horsey. silent night. omerta.
glasnost though. open sesame.
belle1010

Dec 3 @ 10:52PM  
I paid my taxes..........geeze can't the Belle of the ball catch a break?

Oops, that's right I already caught him!

But you're still my number one Skwirl
baldbychoice2kx

Dec 3 @ 11:03PM  
My taxes are paid. I think having Belle in my life is worth every kudo I can give.
onehornytoad69

Dec 3 @ 11:45PM  
Taxes Paid!!!
Wanna Fuck?
Hell, yeah I wanna fuck!!!
alybai42

Dec 4 @ 7:49AM  





Paid my due's

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Prezidenchul State of the Mess Address