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NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS - HUMOR

posted 12/3/2008 1:12:13 AM |
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  Wordsofwit

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to
mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no
allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants
as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your
assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears
down the toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker
for $240 per share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who
bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked
up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

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Comments:

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straddle_fun

Dec 3 @ 1:44AM  
..makes sense to me...
paulywalnuts

Dec 3 @ 7:28AM  
OH so TRUE
onehornytoad69

Dec 3 @ 8:41AM  
soft_touch938

Dec 3 @ 9:27AM  
Those are so funny! Thanks for my first real laugh of the day.....
Sunshine79

Dec 3 @ 10:09AM  
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

You got that right!!
evild614

Dec 3 @ 11:59AM  
I try and I try and I just can't seem to be freaking out about the economy. I drive less, eat generic cereal for breakfast, and I know my rent isn't going up. I guess it's a matter of perspective.
theSkwirl

Dec 3 @ 1:12PM  
I've had that cash flow issue forever! Recession is nothin new in my life!

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NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS - HUMOR