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Games? Am I Playing of dont I know better?

posted 11/20/2008 12:55:39 AM |
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tagged: games, relationships, cheating
  23degrees

I don’t understand this common complaint. Either you like each other and understand the situation (long term or short term) and you enjoy each others presents or you do not. Once you get to the point where the bad starts to build and you get an attitude towards your significant other that you cannot shake off or shake out with conversation then- it is time to truly consider your relationship. Convenient living or not, Make a move!

Your intuitive process is your LAW and you should stick with it and those gut feelings if you wish to stay balanced and happy. Its best if it is FAIR to the person you apply it too but as long as you minimize internal doubt and self doubt than you are closer to being content and happy reducing your stress in relations. When you mention that someone is playing games with you I’m not sure its someone else or your own mind games that you are playing with yourself in order to keep a loved one and apply your relationship rules, guidelines and lore to them. Playing House and Doctor as children do.

When we are children/kids ages 2-9 we observe many real and un-ideal relationships and fairy tale stories that gel together to create standards for relationships and expected roles (right and wrong) that are like templates we later apply to our family, friends and lovers like a stencil, cookie cutter, boundaries. When the person does not fit that shape, color or parlance of your stencil you first try to get them to comply if you like them, second you impose your will on them in an attempt to (change) improve them in your eyes and finally may challenge to force them to jump into shape, your shape or push them out the door or to say “I Do”. Its not your fault - unless you knowingly impose your unfair fairytale will upon others.

Remember that most boys did not read or hear about your fairly tales and have no clue as to the fairy tale needs of a woman. Boys are busy trying to keep up with the strengths it takes to physically defend themselves and compete or jockey for their place or social status in the ranks while some fathers are instilling their (want to be) tough image. Imagine how mean or direct children are while in grade school and the role they play to stay cool or just above social drowning. From the start most boys are pushed away from Warm Fuzzy’s unless mother allowed it. Mars and Venus have only a small role in the relations of people and they only apply to the personality nuances of different months of birth or seasonal polarities of personality such as horoscopes.

This brings me to another layer in relations and this is communications. Im not talking about the “Communications Model” yet but instead the expressions and emotions that are used when we speak to our loved ones. Generally men are not trained to speak lovely to women. If they would take the time to read some of the poetic books, smut novels and stories of love they may finally grasp the concept of accurately communicating with there loved ones especially during those special moments when a woman needs the perfect words to be heard; first dates, weddings, family situations, graduation, rights of passage and the like.

Its not your fault for the most part. We all do it conscientiously or not. It can be as simple stupid as prejudice or as complex as selective breeding - searching for the perfect spouse. This is a physical life so go on ahead and search for the perfect physical specimen (spouse). The best you can do besides hope that they are balanced mentally is ask the proper questions before you get too involved with them.

Yelling won’t help. I do not believe in it and will not deal with yelling at one another to make a point, screaming to be heard or arguing to express yourselves because it does not improve communications, build relations or enhance trust. Do not believe them or fall complacent when the public and some books tell you that “it is good to argue, it helps build relationships”. They should be telling you instead that it is good to communicate and express your and feeling to release them and allow your partner to understand where you are with the topic at hand. If your partner cares he/she will meaningfully compare thoughts and share helpful and productive ways to work together to interconnect without too much compromise granted to one person.

Don’t hold back or be held back. You should accept (love) each other and allow one another to learn and grow in what ever you love to do. Once this is gone and cannot be restored then it is time to lose the old idea of “we have to stay together” to save face. The promise, the children, the social circles, the job and such are no reasons to stay in a volatile relationship.

A few words, ideas and questions to consider when dealing with Games or game players.

Age, locale of upbringing, Education, Maturity, Selfishness, Personality type, Only child,
Is this one sided? Am I living on future promises? Are my friends fair and do they like this person?

Please decide this before you have children and remember that having a child will not secure your relationship or get you a wedding band so stay focused on an education and a career to "support a family on your own".


Just a thought that I had to express and release. This is the most I have said in two years. Sorry it was so long winded.

23Degrees of Life, Love and Longevity
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Games? Am I Playing of dont I know better?