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How To Turn A Man On - Step One: The Pick-Up

posted 11/11/2008 1:53:07 AM |
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OK, a guy's telling us how to turn on a woman. How to french kiss, etc. Let's face it: many people struggle with the very first step - getting someone's attention.

From my deep, dark dating past, I'll give you ladies a quick tutorial on how to pick up a guy. Ripping your clothes off will always get attention. The best method I've found is much more subtle.

'Going on the prowl,' as a woman is a great deal of fun. The very first step is to leave all your insecurities behind when you leave home. Make a decision that you're out to have fun and that anything that happens, beyond that, is a bonus. Neediness and insecurity seem to pour out of your pores and everyone notices this. Confidence - or, if you lack that, a WTF attitude - also comes across with no problem. Some of my best nights were when I "took my bad attitude" out for the night. I didn't care if the guys approached me or not - and they loved it!

Step two is "slow motion." In "Cannery Row," at least in the movie, it's said that simply slowing down can give grace and elegance to the simplest gestures. Not rushing, walking slowly, scanning a room without hurry all convey that you're in no rush and that you're relaxed. Everyone likes being around a relaxed person.

As you scan a room, note who makes eye contact with you. A simple sincere smile, with continued eye contact, is a real 'hook' that snags a guy's interest. From my experience, most guys don't want you to assault them - they want a gentle invitation.

At this point, patience is a virtue. Few men will jump up and run over to you just because you smiled. Find a comfortable seat, get a drink, relax, and continue to 'people watch.' As before, smile with your continued eye contact. This ain't huntin', ladies, it's fishin'. The bait's out there; let them move to it.

When you're finally approached, be friendly but a little reserved. If you tend to talk loudly, try keeping the volume down. If you're a chatterbox, remind yourself to focus most on listening.

Important tips on conversing: Ask him open questions. Not "What do you do for a living?" but "What do you do when you're not [dancing, bar-hopping, anything that applies to where you are]?" - said with a smile, of course. In my experience, asking a guy what he does for a living can be an immediate turn-off. Too many women are searching for a paycheck. Also, if the topic of exes comes up, keep it quick and light. Nobody wants to have a lengthy discussion about love's version of the Titanic. Be open with your answers but brief. A little mystery isn't a bad thing. As Joni Mitchell put it, "Play it cool, play it cool - 50/50 fire and ice."

What did I forget?

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How To Turn A Man On - Step One: The Pick-Up
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A Musing on the Long, Long Schong . . .
Didja at Least get a KISS?!
A Funny Thing Happened While We Were . . .


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Nov 11 @ 3:47AM  
How to turn guy on.... repeat after me "hey wanna fuck?". Be sure to smile when asking, aslo play with your hair and show some foot.


Nov 11 @ 8:09AM  
Condoms....always have your own supply of condoms.....

Nov 11 @ 8:47AM  
Ahhhh those days are long past for me. Todays men look, smile...they may even speak but then they move on. Today's men prefer Barbie Dolls 'n sweet young thangs...and there's so many available for the askin'. I don't think it matters what you's all in how you look. After all, they ain't plannin' on spending much more than a night or two with you anyway.

Am I jaded? You betcha!

Nov 11 @ 10:16AM  
Well said

Nov 11 @ 4:32PM  
LK, very well said. Especially the eye contact and a bunch of smiles. Works for me, anyway.

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How To Turn A Man On - Step One: The Pick-Up