Following the election, Americans are giving the president elect a chance to fulfill the dreams of some and assuage the fears of others. In Blogland, it has gotten a bit ugly today. Shit is being stirred, so in keeping with the theme of shit, I am going to attempt to try a detour from the shit while staying on the subject of shit. I think that I can do this.
We all had decisions we had to make during the election. For the first time in this century things went the way I wanted. My choice for prez won and we can now, FINALLY, buy beer and wine at stores in my city (there was opponents to this that had campaign signs with white lettering on a red background that simply said "NO". I got one of those, turned it upside down, placed it in my yard and it said "ON".)
Anyway, getting back to decisions and shit. Twenty years ago when I had to fart or shit, the question was where. Now, after 57 plus orbits around the sun, I have to decide whether the anal impulse is going to be a fart or a shit. Instead of automatically being able to read the appropriate sensation, I have to bet on it. To complicate matters there is a reduced time to respond to it. It is quite unfair because if you decide it is a shit, you have a reduced time to get to the potty and one is not nearly as swift a foot at the age of 57 as they were in bygone days.
The answer to the question of whether it is a fart or shit, the answer is frequently, yes. Not exactly the best of both worlds. But I have a live in housekeeper so the results on the porcelain are not my problem. I have too much ego to resort to wearing a diaper. Everyone has heard of the adage, "When in doubt, don't." My philosophy now concerning this issue is, "When in doubt, doo."
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
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read more blogs!
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girlcountry
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Nov 8 @ 1:52PM
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You crack me up, Bruce!! Thanks!
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Dan360
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Nov 8 @ 1:54PM
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That's a bunch of shit............   
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rescueremedy
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Nov 8 @ 1:56PM
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There is alot of Doo today .....May it be as swift to be flushed .
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manwithoutahorse
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Nov 8 @ 2:03PM
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In this season of political change and reassessment of where we are, I've been accused of being a cynic. That "everything is going to come out all right". You see, I didn't get my way in the election and I guess I am a cynic.
But when it comes to shit, I know everything will "come out all right". And at 54, I too have changd my outlook on the shit/fart question. I now follow the three rules of aging, 1) Never pass a bathroom, 2) Never waste an erection, and 3) never trust a fart.
Follow these three rules and you'll have little to worry about.
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rnj1013
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Nov 8 @ 3:09PM
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you need to join us on ratemypoo bruce....make good use of your refuse 
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whisperingcomet
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Nov 8 @ 3:35PM
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you mean...doo doo
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Sunshine79
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Nov 8 @ 3:39PM
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I don't give a shit what they say about you Bruce, your one funny guy!
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onehornytoad69
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Nov 8 @ 3:48PM
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Good one!
My Doctors appt. is in 2 weeks.. how about yours?
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NightOfOld
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Nov 8 @ 4:39PM
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Bruce I have to agree with both " You " and " Manwithoutahorse " on this subject.
I'm giving you a kudo. Even if it was a shity blog.
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chris801
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Nov 8 @ 5:38PM
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lunanegra
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Nov 8 @ 5:58PM
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I wasn't here,what did I miss?
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ynot7769
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Nov 8 @ 5:58PM
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sooo in with the new and out with the old.........SHIT  
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LickMyClit
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Nov 8 @ 6:31PM
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When in doubt, doo
And what a bunch of doodoo a few of these comments in BlogLand have been.
I have found that people who feel the need to garner attention from their small minds only do so as it is the largest thing on their bodies. 
Whew! It feels good to get that off my chest. I have been dying to say it all day but refused to up someones comment count on their blog to say it.
Kudo to you big guy,.... 
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lunanegra
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Nov 8 @ 8:39PM
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Nevermind,I read now. What the fuck was up with that dude?
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theSkwirl
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Nov 8 @ 8:54PM
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when in doubt one should always doo! clears the mind.
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borty293
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Nov 8 @ 10:04PM
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On rare occasions I have what I call a ...three flush crap. No ..it has nothing to doo with gambling. It has everything to doo with a full crapper. I usually feel light as a feather afterwards 
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sugarnspice005
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Nov 8 @ 10:22PM
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Now that is a "shit" blog
I am SO glad this election is over. Most of the news anchors have gone back to reporting news...some, well, that's what a remote is for.
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40DWM
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Nov 9 @ 7:02AM
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Have you seen 'The Bucket List'?? two thumbs up.
One of the best lines I've seen Nicholson have, was close to:
"Never trust a fart"
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