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Living Together Quirks and A New House :-) YEAH!!

posted 10/26/2008 6:30:24 AM |
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  casuallylooking

Okay, so you know when you are in a new relationship trying to take two people who are very different, used to living on their own, and put them living happily in the same house...........where do you compromise and what do you decide to share or not?

Like....

Do you let them use your towel or use theirs?

If you put silverware on the table and you don't use your spoon, does it get put in the dirty dishes or do you put it back in the drawer?

Is it against the law to wash their coffee cup?

Are there towels in the bathroom just for decoration and not for use?

Who cooks, cleans and does laundry?
Speaking of laundry, do you sort it or just throw it all into one load as long as it fits in the washer?

Is it okay to give the turtle a bath in the bathtub?

Okay, so a few of them are silly..but trust me I have many many more....lol

So many times the question has been asked IF this site works..If anyone is for real...
Well yes, the site works but I'm still not sure he's for real..or if I'm dreaming. If I am, no one pinch me... Let me explain.
As most of you know I have been in Mn with LilGriz for the past 3 weeks.Sort of a trial live together thing.. He works all day,and since I don't, I figure it is only fair that I do the cooking and the dishes. He says since I cooked he'll do the dishes and is more than willing to do the cooking also..... hmm, suppose that is so I'll do the dishes and he won't feel guilty?

His words to me this morning right before we finally got out of bed were..."Do you want to get a shower, have something to eat and go shopping?" I'm not telling what was said before we decided to get out of bed... But how many men say those words on his day off?

If we go shopping, he lets me out at the door and then goes and parks..(because I have bad knees) He's made me laugh so hard I've literally fallen out of the bed.. Things have gotten so ..ummm shall we say heated, that we've actually broken the bed. He took me on a 4 day roadtrip/vacation that was heavenly and I got to see some things that pictures don't do justice.. And there was no hurrying. Although there were places he wanted to be, if I browsed longer at a shop or what ever he just said. "Oh well". Although later he did feed me peanuts knowing I can't have them... accidentally of course. Or at least I think it was..

He actually shares things with me...talks and listens. Willing to listen to my opinions and definitely has his own..

And ladies, he always puts the toilet seat down...... Ummm, including the lid. So when I go running into a dark bathroom in the middle of the night having to pee really bad.. well, let's just say there haven't been any accidents...... ........ YET lol

He gives back rubs often... Oh and umm, front rubs too...
He buys me flowers... makes sure I have caffeine...changes the oil in my car... doesn't hog the covers. Actually he puts them all on me! Especially on those nights when it's too warm in the bedroom and he pushes them off of himself.. But on the nights I am cold, he's an inferno and loves to cuddle up.

Aggravating points...Yes he has them. like sometimes he sits and just watches me. His reasoning, because he wants to.
He calls me beautiful or sexy.. and he actually seems to mean it.
He's a guy, he farts and he burps...
Here's a big one, he just bought a house.. this week.. can we say for him .. and there were so many complications and set backs for a while. He just said okay and didn't get upset about them, other than the fact he wanted to have it all done before I got up here. I,on the other hand, wanted to rip heads off at a few points. Then when it was finally all done I wanted to jump up and down and scream..or do the banana dance he just calmly said he was relieved it was over.
BUT, I hate to write with black ink, and that seems to be all he has here. So the other day when he brought me home a blue ink pen from work he was all like.."Look what I got you, Honey." And when he brought me home a dark chocolate with cherries granola bar he wanted to be sure whether I liked it or not..
But no excitement about the house... Maybe he's in shock..

The house needs a lot of cleaning, beings that the woman who lived there prior evidently didn't own a broom, mop, duster,carpet cleaner, bathtub cleaner or hot water... but he is quite firm about making me quit working on the house at a decent time in the evenings. I'm upset that I'm not getting enough done quick enough...

And he cheats at house cleaning...Today I was in one bedroom cleaning and I looked through another room into our bedroom and there he was wearing a pair of worn , really.. I mean really, nice fitting pair of faded jeans, black cowboy boots and a chamois shirt running the vacuum for me..(after he fixed it) ..DAYUUM!! Now how in the world was I supposed to continue cleaning when it was getting that hot in there?

On so many things we are so completely opposite,serious and not serious issues, but we seem to fit together close to perfectly.. It's like we offset each others quirks or round off each others edges.
So..How different or opposite can you be and make a lifetime commitment work? What would you be willing to give up or compromise on to be happily in love and share your life with that person?
Could you or would you be willing to move hundreds of miles and pretty much alter or change your whole life as you know it? And what would make it worth it to you?



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Comments:

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whisperingcomet

Oct 26 @ 6:38AM  
Ahhhhhh
onehornytoad69

Oct 26 @ 6:50AM  
Good Luck and God Bless.. Yall!!!
We can make about anything work.. but our heart has to be into it.
I have given up... !!!! But you have to understand that I very Happy being alone!!! Sure I'm Horny... but..I'll not Settle for less than what my heart Needs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I Like my Life...and hell I'm to Old to change..lol
I have tried the distance thingy...and thats not my Bag!
If there is someone out there for me.. God will send her....cause I'm not Looking!
Congrats...!!!!!!!
^5s to Griz.... and a big ole hugger to You!!!
aftershox

Oct 26 @ 7:40AM  
Ohhhhhhhhh! Wow.

Thank you for taking time to write your dream come true fairy-tale like story.

I am about to meet someone -- who sounds unbelievably hot ( I like them rough and extreme in a BDSM sense) AND he is seeking long term. It has been a whirlwind of chats and long, long phone calls.

So far I had only been looking for playmates. Fantasy and fun only. I figured I should start looking for long term soon. although ideally I would find someone after my daughter finishes high school (2 1/2 years).

I have met many many guys from the internet. I am have gotten so skilled at meeting new ppl, I rarely get nervous.

Now I am panicking over the types of things you mention, the sweet realities of 2 people who have living as they wish as I contemplate a "real" relationship. It scares the panties off of me. I am terrified.

Wish me luck!

And best of wishes to you two!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No I didn;t meet him here on AMD, it was another site. But it could have been AMD.
rescueremedy

Oct 26 @ 8:09AM  
Swoon I never do that You know I`m very happy for the both of you It sounds like you are having a GREAT time .....
shall we say heated, that we've actually broken the bed.
Ewe_Wish

Oct 26 @ 8:13AM  
Could you or would you be willing to move hundreds of miles and pretty much alter or change your whole life as you know it?
Not only would but did..........and looking back on it now......although it didnt turn out to be the love story fantasy i had dreamed of.............I did get to spend 8 years with the best friend I have ever had..........and dont regret a minute of it.........

Adjustments are hard.......especially when one person seems like they are giving up everything (thier home, thier family, their friends.........) to move that far away........and than if there are kids involved..........G had a son that was of age who lived with him and i had a minor son.........it didnt make for a good situation until G and I learned to be open about what both of our sons were up too....and not take sides........it was hard..........but kids being kids.....(whether supposedly adult or not) are selfesh and dont want to share thier parents with new people......no matter how happy that parent is.........

For us.....the house rules were different so we had to compromise........in my home if your chores arent done you didnt eat.........in Gs.......he didnt push it.........we compromised.......my rules stayed lol you just have to be honest and upfront with each other..........make sure the important things can be compromised on.......and take one day at a time...........

Welcome to Minnesota home of the lefsa and lutefisk.............

keepinganeyeout

Oct 26 @ 9:35AM  
congrats to you both
may this be the best times in your lives

oh and let me add yeah, sure, and.....you betcha
theSkwirl

Oct 26 @ 9:49AM  
All I can think of to add is.. Awwwwwwwwwww!!

communicate everything... that's the key.
LilGriz

Oct 26 @ 10:23AM  
Ok,ok, it has been a time of adjustment.......like everything else in life that is worth the effort....

Trease is wondering why no answers have been given to her questions....she is just curious about other peoples opinions on these points.

he farts and he burps

My middle daughter says this doesn't count as a problem, as I am a guy....

Time to head to the house again...don't have much time till I have to move in.....I make her quit as I see how much it's hurting her knees. I wanted this all done before she got here, but things didn't work out that way......BTW, when I said we needed to get up and head over, she just pulled me back into bed...... Said something abiut keeping her warm........

keepinganeyeout

Oct 26 @ 10:33AM  
Could you or would you be willing to move hundreds of miles and pretty much alter or change your whole life as you know it? And what would make it worth it to you?
i have done it, and hope to do it again someday the reason i would go
i'm a glutton for punishment i guess
partytimemary

Oct 26 @ 10:36AM  
Ohhhh, Trease I am so happy for you! That's truly a wonderful story and YES, I would move heaven and earth if it was for the one I love - no question about it. Move to Siberia ~ probably not ~ I'm a winter wuss too

Don't sweat the small stuff, it's only stuff.

Chalk another one up for meeting on line and falling in love BEST WISHES to both of you!


I'm so damn jealous!! Kiddin' - I'm working on mine
Kudos girl!
casuallylooking

Oct 26 @ 10:50AM  
.BTW, when I said we needed to get up and head over, she just pulled me back into bed...... Said something abiut keeping her warm........
And you did.....quite nicely I might add. and I didn't hear you doing any complaining....

but our heart has to be into it.
My heart is completely 100% involved in this or I wouldn't even consider making such a move...
I wasn't really looking either...but I found everything I wanted and everything I never knew I wanted, all at once.

But they sure do talk funny up here..................................
Ewe_Wish

Oct 26 @ 10:59AM  
But they sure do talk funny up here..................................
Eh???? Dat Dere ist not funny.......... you jest stick around......you will be talking jest like de rest of dem Minnesotians...
xquseme

Oct 26 @ 11:11AM  
Then when it was finally all done I wanted to jump up and down and scream..or do the banana dance he just calmly said he was relieved it was over.
BUT, I hate to write with black ink, and that seems to be all he has here. So the other day when he brought me home a blue ink pen from work he was all like.."Look what I got you, Honey." And when he brought me home a dark chocolate with cherries granola bar he wanted to be sure whether I liked it or not..
But no excitement about the house... Maybe he's in shock..
That's because doing stuff for yourself is everyday drudgery, but doing it for someone
special means loads! A cool blog; makes me miss being married.....
Ewe_Wish

Oct 26 @ 11:22AM  
i'm a glutton for punishment i guess
You are in such big trouble.......big big trouble...........
keepinganeyeout

Oct 26 @ 11:24AM  
You are in such big trouble.......big big trouble
Eye am innocent
Sunshine79

Oct 26 @ 12:17PM  
Ok, I'm just super envois & jealous right now.....I'm gonna go crawl off into my dark hole and cry......I didn't know guys like that really existed.....
Looking4ever

Oct 26 @ 12:33PM  
How different or opposite can you be and make a lifetime commitment work? What would you be willing to give up or compromise on to be happily in love and share your life with that person?
Could you or would you be willing to move hundreds of miles and pretty much alter or change your whole life as you know it? And what would make it worth it to you?

If your heart is in it (both hearts have to be), I think it can be done...right now I am not willing to give up much for various reasons that have to do with other people. Learning to live with someone, no matter how perfect, takes adjustment and compromise. Better be willing or get yourself a doormat of a companion or not bother. I'd rather be willing. The other two options aren't options in my book. Yeah, if circumstances were right, I'd move to the ends of the earth for the right person. What would it take to be worth it? LOVE on both sides. Real love. Not infatuation. Not passion...but the real deal. That, and I would have to be able to get back occasionally to see my family.

BTW, congratulations and may the happiness continue and grow.
1bunny629

Oct 26 @ 12:33PM  
Hi Kids! I really wanted to get up this morning and find something happy going on here! I am so excited for you both! As far as all the points you were writing about they will all fall into place. One thing that has always helped me in any relationship is to remember that your priorities aren't always the same, so don't make someone live up to yours (and his aren't yours!). As far as an example...hmmm, if he makes the bed and you don't like the way it is done, leave it alone, he made it. Changing it will belittle him. Now for the biggy
Is it okay to give the turtle a bath in the bathtub?
...HA! cracking me up with the turtle thing! If it were my turtle I would want to bathe it in a nice warm tub.... ...One more time HAPPY FOR YOU BOTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and yes...they do talk funny up there...my sister lives up there...you learn to live with it...and laugh when knowone is looking!!!!!!!!!!!
Lisa46

Oct 26 @ 12:50PM  
I'm so happy for you two Your happiness brings tears to my eyes. I think its fantastic and since I do know both of you I can vouch on what a wonderful pair you make
Ewe_Wish

Oct 26 @ 1:14PM  
Trease is wondering why no answers have been given to her questions....
Ok I'll do it for Treas

Do you let them use your towel or use theirs?
NO!!!

If you put silverware on the table and you don't use your spoon, does it get put in the dirty dishes or do you put it back in the drawer?
Dirty Dishes.........

Is it against the law to wash their coffee cup?
If its not a law it should be..............I will decide when my coffee cup is too dirty to use ....thank you.....

Who cooks, cleans and does laundry?
If they are like G was and think Bleach is the greatest thing invented.....I will do the laundry.......cooks and cleans should be a together kinda thing....but rarely ever is...............and when you have to pay for laundry by the load.............you wont be sorting them too much..............

Is it okay to give the turtle a bath in the bathtub?
It's not even ok to have one as a pet............they carry diseases...........besides you are now in the land of 10,000 lakes and 50,000 swamps..............turn the poor bastard loose.........

BTW...............he is a man............of course he burps and farts..........You're only hope is..........he doesnt do it loudly in public..............






sue1968

Oct 26 @ 1:17PM  
Good luck to you both. Maybe one day we will all find our dreams
Sue
ynot7769

Oct 26 @ 1:26PM  
Is it against the law to wash their coffee cup?

ummm.....YESSS

other then THAT....must i answer the rest???? i mean by NOW you should KNOW we coulda wrote this.....does that MAKE me n lilgriz bros fer sure

he he he and he texted me ....''let it snow let it snow let it snow!!!" better you 2 then US.....
lunanegra

Oct 26 @ 2:05PM  
I wish I can answer those questions,but I think I got something in my eye...excuse me.
ValentineGirl214

Oct 26 @ 5:11PM  
I am completely THRILLED for the two of you!!!! It couldn't have happened to a better pair!!!!!
alybai42

Oct 26 @ 11:47PM  
I am so happy for both of you..As for the MN talk...They do not talk funny..The people in Ohio do...

It is a beautiful state. I don't miss the cold weather..I miss the summer month's..Well I think it is the month of July
Ewe_Wish

Oct 26 @ 11:54PM  
Ummmm psssssttttt its snowing here tonight........
ladybootscooter

Oct 28 @ 6:27PM  
Do you let them use your towel or use theirs?

Nope! "They" don't use the pretty ones hanging up either!!!!

If you put silverware on the table and you don't use your spoon, does it get put in the dirty dishes or do you put it back in the drawer?

Dirty, what's one more utensil when there's a table full of dirty dishes!!

Is it against the law to wash their coffee cup?
Yep! rinse when finished, but only "wash" when really bad! Kills the flavor of the coffee!

Are there towels in the bathroom just for decoration and not for use?
Of course! They are the pretty ones for guests to use! Unless by guests they are his buddies that have been fishing all morning. They can't use them either!

Who cooks, cleans and does laundry?
I think it can be split, depending on who is working what shift sort of thing.

Speaking of laundry, do you sort it or just throw it all into one load as long as it fits in the washer?
Sort! Sort! Sort! Clothes are expensive, got to take care of them!

Is it okay to give the turtle a bath in the bathtub?
I don't know about a turtle but I give the dogs a bath in the bathtub! It washes right up ya know!

So happy for y'all! Got my own little fairy tale story going on! I'll have to fill you in!!!
Oh and I would like to take this opportunity to say "I TOLD YOU SO!!!!!"
Love ya!

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Living Together Quirks and A New House :-) YEAH!!