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"Customer Has Balls"

posted 10/21/2008 11:23:03 AM |
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tagged: funny, sunshine, fuck

I remember the 1st day on the job. I was working for a place that sells pools, spas, billiards and patio furniture.

My boss was at a desk beside me and she was on the phone with the store. She says to them "Customer has balls?"

I, on the other side of the room, burst into a ball of sunshiny laughter and am practically rolling around on the floor.

She looks at me and says....."Ummm, we sell billiards you know. I was asking if the customer took the balls home with them."

So, when ever I had the chance to say it, I would....."Customer has balls!! Customer has balls!" I'd even write it on the order that went out...I thought it was hilarious!!!

We also had patio furniture and we had lounge chairs called "Phuket Lounge Chairs" I was in front of a customer once and said to my forklift driver, "They are here to pick up their 'Fuck it Lounge Chairs"....." The customers just stared at me. I had to show them the box and they got a laugh outta that.

Damn Chinese people......I also found another box marked " Phu King Paper Company" (Fucking paper company)

I swear they do this on purpose....It's a Phuking riot!!! Leave it to me to find something funny or fucked up at work and run with

Customer has balls.....It's still funny!

We once had an order for a spa. The customers name was Harry Balz....No joke! We usually mark up the spas with just the last names....but I had to go out there and not just mark one side, but all 4 sides with the words "Harry Balz" sat there for over a week before someone came to get many people got a laugh outta that.....

Bet they all miss me at work...... Ain't no fun without some Sunshine!

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Oct 21 @ 11:32AM  
I got nothin quite that good.. but I used to work at "the People Mover" and this one elderly lady who dispatched for us used to get tang tongueled.. and one day she said.. Good Morning Peep Removal! It stuck.. we all started calling it that..

I worked for a blind lady when I was a kid.. she had an answering service.. one day one of her customers was complaining about leg pain.. and Frances says.. well..Up your mattress..

No no .. Up YOUR mattress! That was a running joke for a long time too.

Harry Balz... I'd kill my momma.

Oct 21 @ 11:37AM  
I would love to have been there !
Did anyone ask who put the Harry Balz all over that spa?

Oct 21 @ 11:55AM  
lol....harry balls....err balz...poor guy

Oct 21 @ 12:04PM  
Well it seems inconceivable that there was a time when NO bad language was heard in public places so remember...this was THEN. I carhopped at a place called Happy Humpty (really!) and you took orders over the outside speaker stations.

We had a sandwich called Ham Dandy and we were required to read back the customers order and when I got to that one it came out Damn Handy...when I let the key up to get their confirmation that the order was correct I could hear nothing but laughter.....

Totally tame by today's standards but back then it stood out like a sore thumb.

Oh well..........guess ya just had to be there....

Oct 21 @ 12:08PM  
that reminds me of the great french author henri balzac. i got a volume of
his works once. he would stay for three or four months, wide awake on
the blackest coffee in the world, writing all night, all day, chasing women
and writing about all of them and his real life adventures, and call it fiction,
to confuse the enemy. they say he was a manic-depressive, but no
he was really just addicted to coffee. maybe you were a koffee anan fan? former
general secretary of the united nations. didn't he handle all our world crises
very well? why the world is a much better place today, thanks to koffee anan.
he founded starbucks. the ten dollar cup of coffee, not the ten cent one at sambos

Oct 21 @ 12:53PM  

Glad he didn't buy a pool table and lounge chairs packed in Phu King boxes...

Oct 21 @ 1:00PM  
Um, ever try walking with 16 balls between your legs???

Oct 21 @ 2:08PM  
harry balz omg thats my uncle he married my aunt ivana pusea she kept her maiden name though ivana pusea balz

Oct 21 @ 5:43PM  
I would love to have been there

Me too!

Oct 21 @ 6:59PM  
I get to tell people, on a daily basis, to look for the FN key on their laptops.

"Yes ma'am, press the f'n key."

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"Customer Has Balls"