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Life Thoughts

posted 10/16/2008 3:21:16 PM |
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tagged: funny, jokes
  dmbchick420

Got in an email...thought they were cute.... If it's a repeat, please don't kill me *runs and hides*

Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN!!

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

Wouldn't you know it....
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

Bumper sticker of the year:
"If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier"

And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

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Comments:

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Sunshine79

Oct 16 @ 3:32PM  
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

Ya think??


Bumper sticker of the year:
"If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier"

Love this!!!
Sunshine79

Oct 16 @ 3:33PM  
And a greenie!!
ThePurpleProphet

Oct 16 @ 3:35PM  


Thems all funny.
funnywhapper

Oct 16 @ 4:30PM  
you get an A plus and a blue star. thank you. you saved me from
joining another site called 'the busty brigade'. i was dreaming about
sunshine for awhile. i can't move around too good. lightheaded.
thanks again. von munchausen syndrome. abnormal psychology
is such a great study. most humans are abnormal.
sugarnspice005

Oct 16 @ 7:30PM  
Those were good!

baldbychoice2kx

Oct 16 @ 7:44PM  
Shiny, round, green thing for you!
ynot7769

Oct 16 @ 7:50PM  
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?

good point...at this rate maybe we should choose a prez from the mrs america options of last year can't be worse right


Bumper sticker of the year:
"If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier"


big kudos for this one .......
mrknowuwell

Oct 16 @ 10:39PM  
my TP is on those big rolls

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Life Thoughts