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Dreams, Fantasies, Memories or Hopes?

posted 10/6/2008 4:54:04 PM |
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Lately when I sleep I dream about people past, present and future. My ex appears frequently with her family all around, as if they are there to protect her in some way. Particularly unusual if the dream is of an intimate nature. When I touch her I can still feel the softness of her skin. Very nice for a woman her age. Though I was reminded by a good friend that skin which never sees the sun will stay soft and supple. What a waste, as it seldom saw the bedroom either.

When an old lover creeps back into a dream I often awake and marvel at how real it felt. How familiar was the bend of an arm or the curve of a breast. How warm the breath as we lay close and held each other. Then I am jolted back to reality. Wasn't it just my memory kicking in? Can't I summon up the memory of better times whenever I am blue? Won't the joy that was real and so honest it was palpable come at my bidding? I do have an extraordinary memory. Especially when I want to.

Occassionally I reach out and pull the extra pillow on my bed near and it almost feels like another...someone who I can only dream of laying with. Is that really only my fantasy? Something that can only be imagined as it has never really happened. A reality created entirely in my mind, of what it WOULD be like to lay with her. What she WOULD feel like, how she would move beneath my touch. Totally a creation of my active imagination. We are together in that fantasy world I create which has no pain, no rules, no consequences.

So am I really dreaming? Am I only remembering? Am I fantacizing about what I want to happen? Or am I just hoping?

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Oct 6 @ 5:51PM  
We are together in that fantasy world I create which has no pain, no rules, no consequences.
I think sometimes when we are sad and lonely, we fantasize about the perfect relationship........even if its only sexual in get us thru the rough times and to continue giving us the hope that there really is someone out there for us..........the sad part is that the fantasy can become so great that when we are offered a relationship because its not as "perfect" as our fantasy is........we have a tendency to pass it search of that perfect world.......unfortunately perfection doesnt exist except in our imagination.

Feb 16 @ 12:29AM  
I've studied dreaming a lot and although I don't have all the answers I love your question. Your question deals with whether dreams are memories, fantasies, hopes or dreams (summarized). The answer is potentially all of the above. We often dream about stuff that transpired during the day - but since you are dreaming of your X and you apparently found love in that relationship, I believe you,through your dream, are expressing a desire that you want fulfilled -- to fill a void, so to speak. The people in our drreams are sometimes just symbols / archetypes representing an aspect of ourselves -- in this case the aspect is your need for intimacy, connection, and comfort.

I often dream of Brad Pitt. While I am not particularly attracted to him, he has qualities that I admire. So when I dream of Brad, I think I am using him as a symbol representing those qualities that I hope to find in another man.

I sometimes also dream of an X-lover / LT boyfriend. I still have unresolved anger toward him for reasons that I won't explain. But, whenever I used to dream of him I would get really angry with myself for conjuring him up. I learned to realize he was just a symbol for my unresolved anger - and in this case the symbol is literally a direct representation of the object of my anger -- he himself. In one dream I told him off - which I'd never done in real life. I felt so freed. Now when I have him in my dream I don't focus on him - instead i focus on understanding what part of myself is being represented by having him in the dream.

Not sure anyone will understand or even agree, but it resonates to me.


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Dreams, Fantasies, Memories or Hopes?