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Really, Sunshine is scared......

posted 10/5/2008 9:23:01 PM |
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tagged: marriage, scared, sunshine, thoughts

I'm too scared to get married. I've never even been proposed to. I think if it ever did happen, I'd accept the proposal, but never make it to the alter. I'm not afraid of commitment, but more afraid that if I sign those papers, down the road I'd be in a shitty situation and I'd be really upset that I got married in the 1st place. It would be so much more of a pain in the ass to leave a marriage rather than leave a relationship.

Anyone else scared?

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Oct 5 @ 9:34PM  
I'm not afraid of commitment

I guess I'm somewhat scared of commitment. I have always enjoyed my freedom, and me being a little older I'm pretty set in my ways at that. I am always willing to give it a go. They just need to be patient with that part of me.

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Oct 5 @ 9:34PM  
I can relate. I am often scared...scared of making the same mistakes in the next relationship I did in the last...scared that my business won't survive...scared that my daughters will be in pain or hurt in some way...scared of being alone...scared of being with someone who would make me wish I was alone...let me count the ways. But I get through it, and every day gets easier and easier (I haven't even had to go on medication yet ). I refuse to let the fear keep me down. In fact, some days it is exacty the motivation I need to do what needs to be done.

You'll get through it as well.

Just remember, "Perfect love drives out all fear". Keep looking for that perfect love.

Oct 5 @ 9:56PM  
Mostly I am scared that the next time I make a mistake will be the time I am not able to recover from. Does that make any sense?

I'm not afraid of marriage. I loved being married. Mostly, I am afraid to give my heart again.

Oct 5 @ 10:01PM  
Oh, so my proposals don't count now?


Oct 5 @ 10:01PM  
Not scared of marriage just do not want to do it again...

Oct 5 @ 10:32PM  
get a prenup
then you leave with what you entered with
minus a few bucks, I suppose
when you meet the right one
you'll know no fear
I'm not scared
I like my life - for the most part
why change it?

Oct 5 @ 10:34PM  
I'm not afraid of commitment, I'm just afraid of screwing up. I have never had great success with relationships. I prove affection by doing things not readily seen. I'm a background worker. Things run smoothly, because I set things up. Maybe I've just been with the wrong kinds of girls, but it seems if proving your affection isn't right in their noses, your a souless bastard.

Oct 5 @ 10:49PM  
If I am In Love (and being Loved!)...........................Hell yeah, I Loved being Married...!!!!!!

Oct 5 @ 10:56PM  
I've been asked twice Didn't know that did ya?? Once when I was 30 and then again when I was 45 I knew in my heart they weren't the right ones for me and I said no. I want to get married yet only when its right in my heart and head

Oct 6 @ 12:09AM  
You won't be when you find the right one!

Oct 6 @ 8:26AM  
You can't get a prenup for your heart!

Oct 6 @ 8:38AM  
I must admit that I was happier married. There are other things like insurance to consider if only one person has a job that provides it. Each state is a bit different on prenups, common law, and palimony. It is best to look into it ahead of time.

Oct 6 @ 10:06AM  
I just barely survived marriage the first time.. damned if I'm doin it again.

Oct 6 @ 7:04PM  
Personally, I think it's entirely up to the both individuals involved. One of my closets friends from high school has been with his girlfriend for 16 years. They have no intentions of ever getting married. They're quite happy how they are now, living together and other than the legalities of the matter, they are essentially married anyway.

For me, part of me would like to get married, if only to have the experience. I know, that sounds like a bad reason and by no means would it be the only one. I would have to find someone I'm totally comfortable with, trust implicitly, can share my inner-most secrets with and that can do the same with me.

If not, I'll gladly skip the experience of getting married. As well, if I find someone with whom I have all of those things, I will gladly skip the experience if she were to be totally against it.

Oct 7 @ 1:11AM  
I'm not scared of commitment, but i'll never get married again. I'll live with someone for the rest of my life and even have children with them, but no piece of paper. In my experience it changes things, I have no idea why that is, but it's true.

If you're living with someone and you're happy with how things are going why go and fuck it up by getting married?

Divorce isn't any fun even for couples that still get along, as in my case. My ex and I were still on good terms (although when I found out he was going on a date after we had separated I got good and pissed and filled out the divorce papers, and he went ahead and filed em) the day my divorce was final I was a wreck, I cried and cried, and ya know the person that hugged me and told me it was going to be ok was my damned ex-husband, go figure.

Anyhow, i'm anti-marriage. So maybe my opinion isn't such a good one for you.

Oct 7 @ 1:19AM  
I just saw this:
get a prenup
then you leave with what you entered with
minus a few bucks,

Maybe I was raised differently, but when I left I didn't take anything with me. He kept most of the furnature, towles, dishes, throw rugs, etc. And some of my things were still in his storeroom til just this summer, and we've been divorced for 10 years . Right after the divorce my ex called me and said I needed to go to the bank and sign a paper that stated I didn't want any part of his house. Hell it was his house before I moved in there, and as far as i was concerned it was his house after I left, I wanted no part of it. So, I went and signed the paper.

I realize that most men that have been through a divorce think women are blood sucking bitches only out for what they can get. Guess I'm the exception.

Oct 7 @ 2:10AM  
I think its the idea of melding two families,two sets of friends and two lives...not the actual act of marriage. Everyone wants that someone to be with forever,its just all the redtape and trying to make things work that is the scary part.

Myself,I'm too much of a loner to compromise. I feel that he would have to be a loner too for us to work out. Hell,even the famous Mexican painters Diego Rivera and Frida Kahlo lived in separate residences that had a bridge between them while they were married.,lol my kinda marriage.

Oct 9 @ 3:13AM  
i'm always scared of commitment. every time i got married, 39 times,
i got committed when it was over. i don't know, it just drives me krazy.
so the last time i got married, i committed her. i made a vow in 1984 i
would never get committed again and i had been placed on four years
house arrest. after doing that time in solitary confinement, i was careful
for awhile. just writing as a pen pal, thousands of women all over the world.
via snail mail. this was before windows 95. then i went back with a woman
i'd known since she was 7, i was 9. it was bad slip. so after awhile i had
to either commit her, or commit me. so i committed her. now she's tryiing
to get me committed. they don't really put you in the hospital anymore.
its handled by the jailers now. they ain't buyin all the psychiatric bullshit anymore.
so she's going to jail quite a bit. but escaping again and again. she's in
the mossad, the hebrew hammers and zorros of zion. its discrimination.
the jewish people hang tuff together. the law keeps comin after her to
rape her and rob her. but we get her out of the pokey away from the nazis
each time. she's queen i lien of israel. the secret monarchy in absentia
and exile. i saw her just the other day. but i said nothing. its an undercover
situation. we have to keep each other cool now. omerta. code of silence.
how do we communicate? through the black arts. the pogroms are happening
again. from safe house to safe house jewish people go. but they are fighting
back all over the world. to keep this world from going out of orbit.
its a tuff fight. can we escape earth in time before it blows up.
be patient, dont' panic. keep your place in line. little by littel spaceships
are being made for the evacuation of earth. up and up and away.
yay nasa. in the meantime, we clean house. and look back, here, and there.

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Really, Sunshine is scared......