I feel that I might need to fill in some blanks and connect some dots on who or, maybe what (?) I am. I was married once for nine years and got divorced in 1990. I enjoyed being married and I confess that I functioned well in the institution and happier married than single. Life goes on and being single was nothing new to me.
Life was good and life was fun. Then it got better with the cyber age. From around 1995 until 2000, I probably went out with 75 women I met online. It was a wonderful era as many of my companions were their own woman, free to explore the other sides of life having been relieved of day in/day out mom.
As the new millennium dawned, I chose to redirect my career and gave up wine, women and song, though I would listen to the radio on occasion. I chose to be alone as opposed to single and became a determined hermit. The career metamorphosis now complete and emerging from the poverty of the starving artist, I return to cyber Never Neverland to meet with Tinkerbell, Snow White, Cinderella, and Alice in Wonderland with kindness to Dorothy while avoiding the Wicked Witch of the West.
The world has changed in the past five years. Online dating is no longer a feared stigma, it is big business and mainstream as we never saw the newspaper blaring Cyber Killer Claims 13th Victim at Bennigans. Women (I knew some once) and the online dating world have changed also.
For me, there are three categories of people here: men, women, and me. Historically, my best friends were, and are women, to the point that I have long suspected that I am a lesbian trapped in a male body. Regardless of a relationship’s goals, if it is not grounded in friendship, it is doomed to die or fade into oblivion.
There is a fundamental needed progression. I intend to make friends first and foremost, free from gender bias. A friend with privileges should follow. It would be divine to transcend to a step further and everyone live happily ever after. I have historically accomplished the first two steps very well.
Looking forward, I will fade away from here as the transitions are made and my social life rebuilds. What I write here is a fun and engaging because anything is new after a five year sabbatical. It is a labor of love, but will be replaced by journalistic prostitution. I am visiting cyber Never Neverland but would never choose it as a place to live. My essence is to live life, not write about it.
But more importantly, for a few people, what I convey has meaning and the text runs communicate at an important point for them. I know this because we have shared. We give to each other and our worlds are better for our passing into one another’s planes. They have given to me also as sometimes an iconoclastic hermit needs to know that there is value to a man who is passing from virile middle age to the physical decline of the pre-geriatric as I have come to know what Mother Nature bestows, Father Time will destroy. But not to worry, for the essence, the soul, are the measures and meaning.
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