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Loving ourselves...

posted 10/3/2008 7:11:02 PM |
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tagged: humor, masturbation, dreams, spiritual, psychic
  JackfromtheBox

I’m feeling horny. Considering all the limiting factors involved, how should I masturbate to get maximum thrust?

Liftoff?

Decompression?

Expulsion?

E. All of the above.

Oh! How many ways do I love myself? Let me count the ways. Oh hell, there are so many ways. Each one at some point was the best. And each one at some point we’ll want to revisit. Each and every orgasm has a point where we believe we’re somewhere else. I have only one thing to say to all you people stuck on getting only the real thing.

“You’re missing out!”

Well, that’s easy to say considering the circumstances. Is this one of those beliefs in our mind that we change constantly to fit our environment? Are hormones driving this mess? I know, it’s just another belief in this edition of a big, silly illusion.

Can I believe that my orgasms get better and better with each experience? Can I believe that this makes me a better lover when the real thing comes along? For this particular moment, can I believe that thinking about making love to someone I know and like will give me the best “E) All of the above”? Can I believe that they will be feeling something when I orchestrate our orgasms into collision?

Yes, I can.

Actually, when I masturbate I seem to always orgasm while I’m thinking about a specific person. There is obviously a connection there. Many times I dream about numerous people, usually one at a time, and only one is the lucky winner.

Do you believe that men masturbate more than women? Does this make them more knowledgeable on this subject? If this is true, then shouldn’t women listen to men when it comes to masturbation? Is frequency merely controlled by the physical mess we leave behind us? Can we believe this? Did Masters and Johnson ask these questions?

Did you ever think about making or answering a survey about masturbating? Is this too taboo or uncomfortable for most people? What questions would keep you from answering correctly or at all? What do you do that if known publically, would have everyone laughing hysterically… or cringing in pain? Would it remove you from consideration for public office? Your job? Your reputation? Do you make them stay dreams? Do you share them with your lover? Can you? Why does masturbation revolve around our deepest secrets? Why are they secrets? What are you hiding?

Remember how the first time with anyone is almost always the most memorable? Does masturbation work that way, too? Do you remember the first time you masturbated… or orgasmed? Has that set a precedence for every one that comes after it? When someone’s first orgasm happens and they don’t know what it is, are they confused for the rest of their life? Abused? Amused?

Do you believe that masturbation is better when it is shared? Why wouldn’t it be? Have you ever done it? Is it too kinky? Too exciting? Do you use the internet? Do you run into the bedroom while you hold those thoughts? Do you do it in front of the monitor? Do you share it with a friend? Do you find yourself repulsed by those thoughts?

Geez! I’m in question mode again. I think I’ll just go jack off. Do I dare post this crap? Should I leave out my survey?

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Comments:

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CompleteMadness

Oct 3 @ 11:33PM  
Since no one else has had the balls to.

Do you believe men masturbate more than women? No, not really.

Does this make them more knowledgeable on the subject? Again, no, not really.

If this is true, then shouldn’t women listen to men when it comes to masturbation?
No, not really again. Rubbing the pole is different than plugging the hole.

Is frequency merely controlled by the physical mess we leave behind us?
Can we believe this?
Probably not either, lets face it, all of us need to do laundry.

Did Masters and Johnson ask these questions? Who the fuck are they?

Did you ever think about making or answering a survey about masturbating?
Didn't think of it, mainly because what's the point of making a survey in the first place? I'm not interested in the results. We all know it happens.

Is this too taboo or uncomfortable for most people? If they're sexually repressed.


What questions would keep you from answering correctly or at all? None

What do you do that if known publically, would have everyone laughing hysterically… or cringing in pain? Probably cringing in pain.

Would it remove you from consideration for public office? Your job? Your reputation? Probably, but if someone is threatening me with that information, I either have better, or they have something at risk I can use as leverage.

Do you make them stay dreams? Eh?

Do you share them with your lover? Can you? Single, and yes.

Why does masturbation revolve around our deepest secrets? Why are they secrets? What are you hiding? Because Sex has been something constantly pushed under the rug. Dirty Laundry, if you will. It's centuries of oppression still being put on us. Hence my advocating of freedom.

Remember how the first time with anyone is almost always the most memorable? Does masturbation work that way, too? My first time wasn't memorable, it was my girlfriend going without cock too long and me being a virgin. Masturbation, I guess people remember their first time. Who knows.

Do you remember the first time you masturbated… or orgasmed? Yes, Yes

Has that set a precedence for every one that comes after it? I have a hard time whacking it out sitting up, generally to get results I have to be laying down, so maybe.

When someone’s first orgasm happens and they don’t know what it is, are they confused for the rest of their life? Abused? Amused? None. My first orgasm I didn't know what the hell I did. Perhaps it's because I'm a methodical person, when something happens, I find out about it. Others may be, but that stems from deeper problems.

Do you believe that masturbation is better when it is shared? Hell yeah.

Why wouldn’t it be? Don't know.

Have you ever done it? Favorite activity.

Is it too kinky? Too exciting? Nope, but definately exciting. It's awesome to watch someone else jiggle your bit.

Do you use the internet? Have.

Do you run into the bedroom while you hold those thoughts? Laptop

Do you do it in front of the monitor? Have

Do you share it with a friend? Yep

Do you find yourself repulsed by those thoughts? Nope.

Sunshine79

Oct 4 @ 2:04PM  
It's only A, B & C....so it would be D. All of the above...

Just sayin'

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Loving ourselves...