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Why they should draft old guys instead of young guys! lol

posted 10/1/2008 4:56:42 AM |
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tagged: straddle, age, humor, men, military
  StraddleMyNose



New Direction for the war on terrorists.

'Send Prior Service Vets over 60 '


For guys over 60, the Armed Forces thinks they're too old to track down
terrorists. (You can't be older than 42 to join the military.)
They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off
to fight, they ought to take old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a
military unit until you're at least 35. For starters:

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys
only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving them more than 28,000
additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky
soldier is a dangerous soldier. Their back hurts! They can't sleep! They're
tired and hungry! Old guys are also impatient and maybe letting them kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make them feel better and shut them up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m.

Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I stated, they're tired and can't sleep and since they're already up, they may
as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured they couldn't spill the beans because they would forget where
they put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real
brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. They're used to getting
screamed and yelled at and they like soft food. They have also developed an
appreciation for guns. They have been using them for years as an excuse to get
out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. Some been in
combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side,
nor did they ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I can hear the
Drill Sgt now, 'Get down and give me ... er ... one.'

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've
never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him He's still learning to
shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't
figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of
his head. These are all great reasons to keep their kids at home to learn a
little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let the old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked us on
September 11. The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple
of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know
that their best years are already behind them.

If nothing else, put them on the border and they will have it secured the
first night.

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Comments:

post a comment!

funnywhapper

Oct 1 @ 5:36AM  
you're right sire. many of us were 'drafted again'. from the organization
of common cents. the universal military training act was formed
in 1947 to defend planet earth against space invaders. up up and away.
ynot7769

Oct 1 @ 5:55AM  
If captured they couldn't spill the beans because they would forget where
they put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real
brainteaser.

ummm...do i have a rank?? a serial number??


and never forget ....''old age and treachery will almost always overcome youth and energy*
Cootiesprayer

Oct 1 @ 6:37AM  
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m

I thought this was a young thing? the not wanting to get up during the day hmm? I seem to remember a person around here who is the same way, maybe he needs to be drafted.

Kudo i suppose.
Sunshine79

Oct 1 @ 7:10AM  
That's hilarious, but ya got a point!
Sunshine79

Oct 1 @ 7:35AM  
*I've taken notice that there are more men over 50 online at 7am*
onehornytoad69

Oct 1 @ 7:41AM  
I would sign up in a second!!!
evild614

Oct 1 @ 7:55AM  


Hell yeah! Most of the kids sent to fight weren't old enough to vote against the politicians who started the war- your idea makes a heckuva lot more sense. Especially if they reinstate the draft.
geena

Oct 1 @ 10:35AM  
thanks for the boost
flavorbuster

Oct 3 @ 11:28PM  
I was in the 1st Gulf War in 91 & your point is a valid one but murderers , child molesters , & any one who committed a cruel crime should go out of all prisons to save our tax dollars.....Good blog
KnightsSearch

Aug 4 @ 8:51PM  
Old guys in combat, have a 21 year old son over in Iraq ould gladly ave my head and retake his place and finish what nato would not let us finish in 91 Long live The CORPS

Semper FI
send us old farts back in to battle and we will have it over in a week if that long
PinkToeNails

Aug 4 @ 9:03PM  
This is entirely too funny and oh so true!!! how did I miss this blog then!??!?!

I loved it!!!!!!!!!! Thanks Shawn!!!




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Why they should draft old guys instead of young guys! lol