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Larry the hen

posted 10/1/2008 12:50:15 AM |
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tagged: humor, straddle, animals, wife
  StraddleMyNose

Larry came home from the Legion late Monday night
after his birthday party stinking
drunk, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already
asleep.

He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he
awoke, he
found a strange man standing at the end of his bed.
'Who the hell are
you?', demanded Larry, 'and what are you doing in
my bedroom ?'

The mysterious man answered, 'This isn't your
bedroom and I'm St Peter.'

Larry was stunned. 'You mean I'm dead !!! That
can't be, I have so much
to live for - and I haven't said goodbye to my family.
. . You've got
to send me back straight away.'

St Peter replied, 'Yes, you can be reincarnated but
there is a catch.
We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.'

Larry was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far
from his
house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.

A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and
clucking
around, pecking the ground.

'This ain't so bad', he thought until he felt
this strange feeling
welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over
and said,
'So you're the new hen, How are you enjoying your
first day here?'

'It's not so bad', replies Larry, 'but I
have this strange feeling
inside like I'm about to explode.'

'You're ovulating', explained the rooster.
'Don't tell me you've never
laid an egg before.'

'Never', replies Larry.

'Well just relax and let it happen'.

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later,
an egg pops
out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept
over him
and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced
motherhood
for the first time.

When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was
overwhelming
and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best
thing that
ever happened to him . . . Ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his
third egg, he
felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard
his wife
shouting...

'Larry, wake up, you drunken skunk. You've shit
the bed !!'

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Comments:

post a comment!

geena

Oct 1 @ 12:57AM  
talk about being drunk, more than a skunk yeah i still didn't forget the kudo
sugarnspice005

Oct 1 @ 1:00AM  
wow...that stinks!


Ok...It's time for me to get some sleep...I'm up past my bedtime here.
lunanegra

Oct 1 @ 2:52AM  
It was funny,but howcome in the joke he was called Larry if the title was "Dave the hen"?
StraddleMyNose

Oct 1 @ 3:10AM  
howcome in the joke he was called Larry if the title was "Dave the hen"?

Good question.

Got this in my email... lol
Sunshine79

Oct 1 @ 7:02AM  
LMAO.....that's fucking funny!!
onehornytoad69

Oct 1 @ 7:29AM  
1bunny629

Oct 1 @ 8:24AM  
I wish I could sleep as well as DAVE everynight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not to mention LARRY!
girlcountry

Oct 1 @ 11:59AM  
shakes head and leaves a green cookie

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Larry the hen