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Who's Sperm Is It?

posted 9/27/2008 2:45:55 PM |
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I read something about this online somewhere a few days ago, then the other night as I was sitting just flipping through the channels I saw it on a talk show..... The court decision just taken place earlier this month in San Diego.

A husband and his wife were trying to have a baby...The couple had begun in vitro fertilization at a fertility center .... however before it worked the man died (3 years ago) in a work related helicopter accident.

Although he left no will, the wife was appointed administrator of her husbands estate and deciding to continue to become pregnanat using her late husbands sperm, then petitioned the probate court for a preliminary distribution of an “asset of no financial value” but “of immense sentimental value to the widow.” His parents contested the preliminary distribution, claiming that it was against the intent of their deceased son. And that she should have no rights to it.

Some history on the couple...
They had been married for 10 years and children had not been discussed before marriage....The a few years into the marriage she decided to have a baby..He said no. ... she eventually told him that if they did not have a child she would divorce him, she wanted one that badly... He finally agreed, but they (for whatever reason) had to go the insemination route....
On the consent papers there is a space that asks in the event of your death would you want what's left of your frozen sperm to be donated or destroyed...He checked destroyed and legally signed the paper......................she also signed it.

So, in court they were left speculating whether he meant donated to someone else other than his wife because he was probably assuming they would already have a child by the time he died... or it didn't mean her since it was kept for her.
It was brought up that since she had emotionally blackmailed him into it maybe he had meant her also... since she no longer had the leverage of leaving him if he didn't give her a baby.
They also argued that She herself signed the consent contract paper without questioning it.
Using the fact that he was a deputy sheriff and placed his life in danger everyday, they said he must have taken that into consideration when signing the paper.

She used the fact that she was his wife and entitled to his sperm since she was legally his wife, the administrator of his estate and the one the sperm was intended to be used for.
That he had loved her enough and changed his mind and agreed to let her become pregnant then wanting to father her child. Also, If he had lived she would have eventually become pregnant from that very sperm.
And that neither of them ever considered him dying at such a young age.and he meant not to donate it to just anyone once he was gone. Thinking that it would be many years down the road and she would no longer be in need of it then....their use for it would be over by then and he didn't want anyone else with his child..

The court ruled against her......She lost her case....although she is appealing to the supreme court and his 'deposit' will be kept safe until the appeal decision is reached.

So, if you were gong to argue this case...Which side would you take and what would be your arguments??

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Sep 27 @ 3:38PM  
She should be allowed to have her husbands sperm period. They were in the process of trying to have a child why stop now?

Sep 27 @ 4:47PM  
I dunno C.L..
Whats your take on this ???

Sep 27 @ 6:33PM  
Wow, I'm not sure....I'd say no because he is deceased.....Man, I dunno. That's a toughy.

Sep 27 @ 6:35PM  
There Must be more too it!!! Why didnt he do that from the start? just saying

Sep 27 @ 6:35PM  
On the consent papers there is a space that asks in the event of your death would you want what's left of your frozen sperm to be donated or destroyed...He checked destroyed and legally signed the paper
It should be was his wish...........doesnt matter if they concieved or not..........shouldnt matter what anyone "thinks" he might have wanted in different scenerios.............He checked for it to be destroyed and he signed it..........I would think that would almost be like a will.............or a paper saying they dont want to be a doner of organs.............what after they die do we suddenly decide what is better for who is living...............nope i think the sperm should be destroyed.......

Sep 27 @ 6:58PM  
since she inherits his stuff in any case why not.. Does it matter if she has his kid or not monitarily would it hurt anyone in the case of Royal lines or tons of money there is no one that would be hurt by her having his child even after his death.. Sometimes it is of the greater higher thought process one has to go for... She wanted to have his baby not some one else's because she could certinally go to a sperm bank and get some donated stuff a heck of a lot cheaper than the stuff she is currently fighting for.. Again they both signed papers for destroy but intent may well be that he did not want a stranger having his gizz just his wife even if it was I want a baby or I will get a divorce he obviously loved her enough to go through the process and did not want a divorce or she and he would have gotten one..

With so many thinking that abortion is wrong why is it that the flip side is held against someone who wants to have a baby.. This is the crazy ass thinking that has me puzzled.. Oh wait perhaps she is lesbian which is why no one wants her to have said child.. Who knows. Perhaps she is a bitch and the parents hate her but she was married to the guy she will get widows benifits and will have to live life without this guy whom she must have loved if she anted his child not anyone else's... So yea my 2 cents not that it is worth much in any case..

Sep 28 @ 2:16AM  
Those who know me personally know that I am a little bit...well, okay...a whole lot opinionated. But this one has me seeing both sides.... and it's a difficult situation.

I do agree that it is unfair to her and although I disagree with her threatening to divorce him if he didn't agree...some women just have that deep need to have children and be a mom. She must have wanted a child very badly and it seems that yes she could have easily been through the process by now and had a child if she would have just went with another donor. Evidently she did want it to be her husbands child.. That is quite understandable.And heartbreaking.
He evidently did love her enough to agree to it instead of losing her.

However, regardless of what anyone (including his parents) thinks his thought process was when he signed the consent papers, he still signed a legal document that clearly said in the event of his death his sperm should be discarded. So therefore, I feel that is what should be done, in agreement of his signed document, his intent at that point and because this was the whole reason they ask that question to begin with.

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Who's Sperm Is It?