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Looking for a little input....

posted 9/24/2008 11:27:30 AM |
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  dmbchick420

Alright, so I hope I don't sound shallow here because I'm not trying to be, but what do you do if you start talking to someone online and then they send their pic to you and you think they are fugly?

I don't want to be a jerk about it, but I don't want to just ignore the person either. I DEFINITELY do not think looks are everything, but I'm sorry...I just have to be attracted to someone in order to pursue anything...is that wrong?





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Comments:

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Cootiesprayer

Sep 24 @ 11:33AM  
If there is no attraction you can't help that. You have to be attracted to them before you can start anything bottom line. Nothing wrong with that I think.
onehornytoad69

Sep 24 @ 11:45AM  
Tell the truth.. and that would be..... that you were not Interested! (dont tellem that they were fugly )
The biggest problem I have had with that is.. they wont show ya a Pic till after they have worked on your mind somewhat... and it really makes it hard!!
I hate that, when it Happens!!
Thenewguy2957

Sep 24 @ 12:02PM  
I told you that pic was not of my face it was of my butt with a face tattooed on it!

When the opportunity presents itself just tell them 'no chemistry'.
dmbchick420

Sep 24 @ 12:08PM  
I told you that pic was not of my face it was of my butt with a face tattooed on it!

evild614

Sep 24 @ 12:21PM  
Depends... how much time has this poor chap invested into talking to you online?
dmbchick420

Sep 24 @ 12:23PM  
Depends... how much time has this poor chap invested into talking to you online?

We just starting talking....like a few days ago.
dmbchick420

Sep 24 @ 12:25PM  
I just hate to burst someone's bubble is all....I feel bad
dakota323

Sep 24 @ 12:29PM  
that is why I usually do not correspond with faceless profiles...here is a reason people do not show their face...I am sure that if one in online long enough one knows the many reasons...i.e. married, fugly, scammer...and the list goes on
sugarnspice005

Sep 24 @ 12:34PM  
I just hate to burst someone's bubble is all....I feel bad

It would be far more cruel to let him think he has a chance.

I don't know much about the situation other than what you wrote here..but I would think your best bet would be to let him know there is no chemistry, and like HornyToad said, do NOT say it's because he's "fugly".

Good luck.
justa_country_boy

Sep 24 @ 12:36PM  
On behalf of Fugly people everywhere, We get that alot.The last chic i sent my picture asked me "if that was my face or did my neck throw up"
chris801

Sep 24 @ 12:39PM  
tell him you dont feel that there is any physical chemistry and good luck on your search,
soft_touch938

Sep 24 @ 12:53PM  
I deal with that from the git-go. Tell them I need a pix before we really get to talking and warn them that if there's no chemistry it isn't anything personal. They may be nice looking but I may not click with what I see.

But ya know what? Doesn't matter because most of them when I tell them no chemistry would fire back and call me every name in the book. Yet my conscience was clear...I didn't play them along for a time and I did warn them. If they wanted to take it personal then that was their problem.

I no longer sweat the small guys who think 'no' is a personal assault. If they're that low on self esteem then I ain't interested anyway.

Don't let them get to ya....they just love layin' guilt trips on women. Don't fall for it.

JMHO
dmbchick420

Sep 24 @ 1:10PM  
The last chic i sent my picture asked me "if that was my face or did my neck throw up"

I seriously hope you are joking because that would be really insensitive for a woman to say that, but it did make me chuckle
rnj1013

Sep 24 @ 1:36PM  
Doesn't matter how long the two of you invested in each other. If you aren't attracted to the person let them know sooner than later. Feelings change for many reasons so you don't have to tell them they are fugly.
Lisa46

Sep 24 @ 1:40PM  
You know some people won't post pictures in order to get your personal email then they say their computer won't upload any pictures. The list goes on and on If NO picture no talkie! And fugly is only skin deep. I mean seriously you do need to look at the person on the inside. You don't have to meet him you know.
lunanegra

Sep 24 @ 2:05PM  
I usually don't get that;the guy either says nothing and logs off,or says he has "something he needs to do" and logs or he just logs off.

Because of that,its a most humbling experience and so,I tend to end up talking to a lot of fugly guys out of sympathy..not because I'm hot shit or anything,I just rather not know about karma.
rnj1013

Sep 24 @ 2:28PM  
I knew you talked to me for a reason luna
justa_country_boy

Sep 24 @ 2:34PM  
Yeah there's a few Insensitive chics here.But ALL the Spammers say I'm Handsome and all want to marry me (well i soon as i send them some cash that is)
lunanegra

Sep 24 @ 2:51PM  
I knew you talked to me for a reason luna


Hey....



Shut up. >_<;;

lilmanintheboat

Sep 24 @ 2:54PM  
I have always had the guy ask if I have more pics regardless of what he thinks of my looks...they don't ever send me anymore of them. I also get hundreds of questions thrown at me, but they never offer any info about themselves...I sent a guy a pic of what looked like my grandmothers ass one time cause he asked so many times for pics...cracked me the fuck up...I wish i could have seen the look on his face when he opend it up!
dmbchick420

Sep 24 @ 3:05PM  
I sent a guy a pic of what looked like my grandmothers ass one time cause he asked so many times for pics...cracked me the fuck up...I wish i could have seen the look on his face when he opend it up!

ahahahahahaha
NEOhioGent

Sep 24 @ 3:46PM  
There HAS to be some physical attraction or it just isn't going to work.

This is a touchy subject. Rejection sucks and feelings get hurt. (Being a heavyset guy with a big belly, I know this all too well.) Obviously, you can't tell them they are fugly. But you can't ignore them either. That is rude.

The real problem here is that the two of you are engaged in dialog and all is going well... then he sends you his photos. If you ignore him... he knows you were turned off by his face/body. If you say no thanks... he still thinks your were turned off by his photos. No matter what you do, you crush his heart.

Myself, I know the risks when I contact people on this website. I know that my big belly and average endowment is gonna turn women off. But you can't win if you don't play. I say: if you can't handle the rejection, then don't shop here.

Frankly, an HONEST profile with recent face pics eliminates a lot of this. If you are heavyset, say so. If you have an average dick, say so. My profile is completely honest about my body type and endowment. I save myself the pain of rejection by scaring the women away upfront - LOL! And keeps my inbox quite small and manageable - LOL!
StraddleMyNose

Sep 24 @ 3:50PM  
I'm with you on this. Looks aren't everything, but if you're not sexually attracted to them I really can't see it working out.
lunanegra

Sep 24 @ 4:10PM  
.I sent a guy a pic of what looked like my grandmothers ass one time cause he asked so many times for pics..


Hm...you're onto something. Whenever a jackass asks for a pussy pic,I give them just that..a photo of a cat.
dakota323

Sep 24 @ 4:51PM  
if you're not sexually attracted to them I really can't see it working out.
very true
needsomenow83

Sep 24 @ 5:12PM  
I usually don't get that;the guy either says nothing and logs off,or says he has "something he needs to do" and logs or he just logs off

how many females have done this to me. And they contact me

I just ran through my IM windows, cleaning girls off my friends' list. 38 girls (count 'em) who at one point or another, said some iteration of what luna did.
2 of them thought I was a woman. heh.

I'm not saying put the facet of attraction on the chopping block, but ......



mrknowuwell

Sep 24 @ 5:40PM  
i know I am ugly..........but the Brad Pitt mask i wear seems to help
Loveyoulongtime2

Sep 24 @ 8:31PM  
There should be some physical attraction, but personality is the most important thing. But hey, look at those fugly old men with hot young women. Anyone have a guess on what those fuglies have going for them?
Sunshine79

Sep 24 @ 11:47PM  
No it's not wrong. I dont' care what people say....Yes a good person on the inside counts as alot. But, yeah....you have to have some sort of attraction there. I've had this situation happen before....it's kinda awkward after you see that picture....
slohand_47

Sep 26 @ 12:34AM  
I'm a little late here..... but I'll add my 2 cents worth. There is NO good way to deliver bad news........ so either be honest, but gentle..........

or........

Lie..... and say you are too far away....... or just hooked up with someone else and don't want to see 2 people at once..... or....... well, I'm sure you can come up with something.
belle1010

Sep 26 @ 12:56AM  
I'm wondering what it was about his written word that attracted you to him in the first place. Before you ever saw a picture of him.

I would like to think that beauty is more than skin deep, but realistically I know that's not true.

I do agree that if you're not attracted to him physically then you need to let him know, hopefully in a way that is less likely to hurt his feelings, or maybe not hurt as much.

I know for me that if I walked into a place, be it the mall or the local bar, and I see a really goodlooking man, if he should walk up to me or vice/versa and he opened his mouth and couldn't string together an intelligent conversation I don't think I could have a long-term relationship with him. Now on the other hand as long as he didn't say much a sexual fling wouldn't necessarily be out of the question. LOL

I'm not sure if that makes me shallow or not. I'd like to think not. Just like you don't come off as a shallow person either. I guess you have to chalk it up to attraction, it's either there or it's not.

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Looking for a little input....