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A Guide To Understanding Men

posted 9/23/2008 9:21:02 PM |
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tagged: funny, men, sunshine
  Sunshine79

"I'M GOING FISHING"
Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid,and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Means: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
Means: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely
clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Means: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
"I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

............. .............. ................ ................. ........

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Comments:

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lunanegra

Sep 23 @ 9:26PM  
"IT'S A GUY THING"
Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

This.
StraddleMyNose

online now!
Sep 23 @ 9:30PM  
LilGriz

Sep 23 @ 9:51PM  
"I'M GOING FISHING"
Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid,and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

You mean you're supposed to catch something, besides a good buzz????
flavorbuster

Sep 23 @ 9:56PM  
interesting pointers
MUDSHARK450

Sep 23 @ 10:08PM  
Not funny but I did once forget my partner's birthday many years ago. Stupidist thing I ever did and thankfully, never repeated. I was not allowed to forget that, either.
sugarnspice005

Sep 23 @ 10:09PM  
"IT'S A GUY THING"
Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

Female version:

"I'm PMS'ing, so I'm totally incapable of ANY rational thought. So don't try making any logic out of my radical mood swings"


lilmanintheboat

Sep 23 @ 10:49PM  
I really don't give a shit. I think it is because I am older. I just get it. I have heard it all! I don't ask anymore cause I already know. Let it go, set your priorities, let them feel they are in charge! I am very intuitive andI love men..regardless of the excuses and the common stumbles..let it be...hehehehe...I just want to fuck!
geena

Sep 23 @ 11:05PM  
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

I kinda get this all the time


onehornytoad69

Sep 23 @ 11:58PM  
Theres A lot of truth in some of theses!!! thx lady!
casuallylooking

Sep 24 @ 12:58AM  
You mean you're supposed to catch something, besides a good buzz????
Well that depends on if you want to eat or not...

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Means: "What did you catch me at?"
hmmm, sounds vaguely familiar....
Cootiesprayer

Sep 24 @ 7:32AM  
I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

Said while driving past the same 2 vultures sitting on a stoop getting closer to the car every time we drive by from a different direction! wonderful comments. Kudo for this one.
max49

Sep 24 @ 8:17AM  
..... .....
baldbychoice2kx

Sep 24 @ 9:02AM  

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A Guide To Understanding Men