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Be Careful What You Wish For.....

posted 9/15/2008 11:59:33 PM |
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You know being a single mom has been the hardest job I've ever had. The divorce that was such a relief to me, was just so hard on my young son. And it used to break my heart that his father ignored him so. Sure he spent summers with him when he was a little guy, but after he hit those teen "money making" years, that all stopped. His choice, never mine. So for the past 13 years I worked even harder at being both a mother and a father to him. I taught him how to fold championship paper air planes. I was a den mother to his cub scout troop and worked hard to learn how to tie all those different damn knots, so I could in turn teach him and his fellow scouts (and ya'll thought I was just kinky!) Then there was fishing, both how to bait his hooks and clean the fish when he got them home. He bragged to his friends how cool his mom was when I taught him how to hunt and how to skin squirrels. I'll never forget the first time he beat me on the court at a game of "Horse"! It was great to see him sink three pointers from mid court! His first band concerts, yeah it was me cheering and clapping so loudly from center row it made him blush! It was me wiping my tears the first time I heard him sing on stage, picking his voice out above all the others. All the different instruments, all the "garage band" practices in my living room! Then there was the "trouble". Three years ago, when a moment of stupidity cost him so dearly. A half year of school, all of his scholarships and very nearly his freedom. All the tears. The arguments. The fear that he was throwing away his very future. But he worked hard to make up all the credits. I've never been more proud than when he graduated this Spring. On time, with his class and with honors. I cried tears of joy at the sight of the medal awarded him by the Governor for his achievments. I thought he would gladly go off to college, as he had earned new scholarships, new opportunities. But he had a different path in mind. He broke it to me on the phone, at work of all places that he had enlisted. My baby?? enlisted?? He had talked about it before but it never went farther than that. Just talk. Now it was real. It was serious. It was his choice. And he wanted me to be happy for him for making this choice. So while he has been training hard to build endurance and cut weight, I've been trying to tell myself that it's going to be ok. While he's been running down paths, I've been running down memory lane. So many times in the past several years I've wished he would just grow up already, now I wish I could take all those times back. That he would just be my little boy a little while longer. Back in his Lion King pj's, snuggled on my lap for one more reading of Good Night Moon. While he's been quietly becoming his own man, I've been quietly trying to figure out how I'm going to graciously let him go. He ships out in two weeks. That's just 14 days. When it's 14 days until payday, it seems forever. But suddenly 14 days doesn't seem very long at all. So be careful what you wish for, sometimes you may just get it.

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Sep 16 @ 1:06AM  
LBS....I understand exactly what you are going thru.........when our baby is suddenly a man and chooses to go his own way........its hard enough........when he joins the military........we have that added fear..........but being mom means that we must let them be who they choose to be........Your son is in my thoughts and prayers.

Sep 16 @ 1:10AM  
Thanks D. It is appreciated!

Sep 16 @ 2:09AM  
As a parent that loves them more than life, we give them wings and teach them how to fly with them...
We teach them right from wrong and how to make decisions on their own.
We some how think when the time comes it will be automatic to let go because they are grown ups now.

They grow up and become such adults. They spread those wings and fly high, while we want to hang on to our babies . Then who is teaching who? Ironic isn't it?

Stormy, I know your heart is scared and breaking right now...and it's quite understandable. As Dayna said, it's hard to let go, especially to the military.
My thoughts and prayers go with him and with you..

btw, Did I mention that I am proud of him?


Sep 16 @ 2:33AM  
he will do fine...........and then he can call ya with the callin card you got 4 him

Sep 16 @ 5:08AM  
maybe not YOUR choice or path...but...think...only a fine young man would make HIS choice.... and i know when the shock wears off....nothing but shining pride will be left

Sep 16 @ 7:29AM  
The hardest thing I've ever done was to let go of my daughters and let them live their own lives. I know this is hard, but you must be very proud of him. You've been a great mom and will continue to be a great mom, he just needs different kinds of support from you now.

Please thank him for me, he is serving us all and it is a courageous decision.

Sep 16 @ 8:35AM  
Awwww, that was a really sweet story!!! Kids do grow fast and yes it is the hardest job being a mom and a dad. Hugs to you and good luck to your son. Enjoy your 14 days!

Sep 16 @ 8:58AM  
What branch of the service did he join?

It is rough when a child leaves, but it will be natural for it to be more difficult for you. It isn't like he will move out to an apartment a few miles away or even a few hours drive. Additionally, he is an on only child. You will be living alone, possibly for the first in your life.

After a while, though you will miss him, you will come enjoy the emancipation and freedom. One of my first blogs goes into this transition.

Sep 16 @ 10:00AM  
Awww sweety, it's the hardest thing in the world to watch your baby go off at any time, you know I'm praying... and grateful to him for standing for all of us.

I'm not gonna tell you that you should be proud, cuz I know that you are.. and you've raised a fine young man. Well done Mom!!!

Hugggggs... I'd be a bit freaking too btw..

Sep 16 @ 11:24AM  
WOW Stormy you brought tears to my eyes with your story. Yeah sounds like you were a cool mom. You did everything so you could teach him how to stand up on his own. You struggled to teach this child what responsibility is. Sounds like you did a stand up job! He graduated with honors. He talked about enlisting and then acted upon it. You taught your child how to become a good strong man. Yep sounds to me like you were an awesome mommy!

Sep 16 @ 1:26PM  
Looks like you were the best Mom AND Dad for him...and he turned out to be a wonderful and brave young man.

He, and the rest of our brave men and women always will be in my thoughts and prayers. They truly are the best.


Sep 16 @ 8:39PM  
Thanks everyone. Yes, I am damn proud of him and the man he's become nearly overnight. He's changed so much, not just the attitude and responsibility. You all have no idea what he's gone through to make this happen. Like me, he's battled a weight problem most of his young life. When he decided he wanted to do this, he weighed in at 253. At 6', that wouldn't cut it for the military. In the past few months he's lost 66 pounds. He has ran, walked, worked out and shown remarkable will power to get the weight off. That was what showed me this was something he REALLY wanted. He was so handsome before, but now, he'll really be a heartbreaker in that uniform!
He joined the Army National Guard under the Active First program. He'll do 4 yrs active duty first with an option to do his last four years as active or reserve. He's been talking about staying in for the full 20 and making a career.

Sep 16 @ 11:26PM  
Your son is a credit to you. You did all the things a good parent does. You raised a wonderful human being, who obviously wants to stand up for the rest of us. I know you're proud of him, but you should also be proud of yourself. I'll be praying for him, may God keep him safe.

Sep 17 @ 1:26AM  
Yes, I am damn proud of him and the man he's become nearly overnight
You weren't supposed to blink, Stormy. That's when they grow up...when we blink.

I think he might just have his Mommas determination and stubborness...

Sep 21 @ 12:26AM  
Many years ago, I read an email about kids, and it made a point of saying that as parents, we always recall the "firsts" for our kids... the first smile, the first tooth, the first step... but wouldn't it be even more precious if we could remember their "lasts"? The last time they cuddled in our lap? The last time they crawled into bed with us because they were scared of the boogie man? The last time they left a fingerprint on a glass topped table.... Wouldn't you preserve if you knew you'd never see one again?

Kids grow up and if we are half the parents we hope we are, we only grow prouder of them as they continue to leave their fingerprints... on the world, instead of on our glass topped tables. I'm sure your son will leave his share of prints, and I hope you are able to see and record as many of those prints as possible.

Be proud, Mom, he's gonna do you proud!!


Oct 19 @ 6:05PM  
My mom went through the same w/ me @ the 1st Gulf War In 1991...... I was in Europe when deployed there ... You have my support God bless !!!

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Be Careful What You Wish For.....