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Top 10 Reasons It Sucks To Be A Penis....LMAO!

posted 9/8/2008 10:23:09 PM |
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tagged: penis, 10, sunshine, top
  Sunshine79

Re-run or not....I can't help but giggle every time I read this list.....I had to share (or share again!)


10. You've got a hole in your head.

9. Your master strangles you all the time.

8. Your head is disproportionate to the rest of your body.

7. You shrink in cold water.

6. You never get a haircut.

5. You always hang around with 2 nuts.

4. Your closest neighbour is an asshole.

3. Your best friend is a pussy.

2. Your scalp gets cut off if you're Jewish.

And the number one reason why it sucks to be a penis:
1. Every time you get excited, you throw up.

......... ............ ............... ................ ..........

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Comments:

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1bunny629

Sep 8 @ 10:33PM  
HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still love them so...and if I could find one with a personality behind it or on top of it or even fucking near it...i would soooooooooooo be his best friend! Might have to get rid of the nuts he hangs out with, but never had a problem doing that...don't ask...don't tell...anyone who has ever been mean to me is dead!
sugarnspice005

Sep 8 @ 10:35PM  
An oldie but goodie!
1bunny629

Sep 8 @ 10:37PM  
Geeezzzzzzzzzzz...give it up...now Sugar sounds like Wow!!!!!
funnywhapper

Sep 8 @ 10:37PM  
well i guess i'm the next person you will murder. that's a felony ya know.
how much time in a federal penententiary have you done? some women
cut penises off for fun, and nail them to the walls of motel rooms.
penises get set up all the time, by women gone wild. as a former
member of the l.a.p.d. the battle of the sexes is very mean.
i've seen the photos. not recommended for swingers, it might put a damper
on the fun.
NightOfOld

Sep 8 @ 10:39PM  

Does it make a difference if your 9 1/2 inches long and not jewish. ??

Damn bunny wants me dead
Sunshine79

Sep 8 @ 10:44PM  
well i guess i'm the next person you will murder. that's a felony ya know.
how much time in a federal penententiary have you done? some women
cut penises off for fun, and nail them to the walls of motel rooms.
penises get set up all the time, by women gone wild. as a former
member of the l.a.p.d. the battle of the sexes is very mean.
i've seen the photos. not recommended for swingers, it might put a damper
on the fun.

And that's why I'm glad I'm not a penis!!!
1bunny629

Sep 8 @ 10:47PM  
Hey Whapper...if it makes you feel any better iI wouldn't waste a moment going psycho on your ass...but I would call the ward to come get you and put you where you belong. As far as your interpretation of my comment, you have it wrong. I have never threatened anyone, nor have I put them in their place. They have just have left this place by their own demise.
manwithoutahorse

Sep 8 @ 10:47PM  
It might suck to be one, but I'm damn happy I have one. And believe it or not, it does have a personality (in case anyone is interested). An outgoing personality who tends to dominate a conversation (in body language, of course). But willing to meet halfway, and then all the way, then half way, then all the way, then half way, then all the way...you get it.
baldbychoice2kx

Sep 8 @ 10:47PM  
A tomato, a cucumber and a penis were talking one day.

The tomato said, "I've got a rough life. I get grown on a vine and when I'm ripe, I get picked, sliced and eaten."

The cucumber said, "You've got it easy. I get grown and when I'm ripe, I get picked, thrown in a jar of vinegar, turned into a pickle and then eaten."

The penis said, "You've all got it easy. My owner puts me in a rubber bag, sticks me in a dark hole and makes me do push-ups until I puke!"

baldbychoice2kx

Sep 8 @ 10:48PM  
You gets a cookie, btw.
clickedanad2

Sep 8 @ 10:52PM  
You shrink in cold water.
that's shrivel
sweaters shrink - and stay shrunk

You never get a haircut.
you sure about that?
1bunny629

Sep 8 @ 10:56PM  
NIGHT? why would I want you dead? i don't want anyone dead! I just said it happens...and anyone that has ever been mean to me is...you have not ever been mean to me..I adore you. if you really want to know, I have no control of it...it just happens...i wake up, and they are gone...i don't wish it, hope it, or do anything to make it happen! love youall, but I wouldn't advise being mean to me...
1bunny629

Sep 8 @ 11:18PM  
Click shrunk a womans sweater once...ya always no when they hve done it...they cam't ever forget, a womans sweater shrunk is a woman scorned forever...it is very sad, but true....
manwithoutahorse

Sep 8 @ 11:22PM  
I shrunk a woman's sweater once. My 8 year old could then wear my ex's sweater. She WAS pissed. By 8 year old liked it though. I never had to do laundry again, until we split. Now that I'm single again, I don't shrink anything. Funny how that works.
clickedanad2

Sep 8 @ 11:48PM  
yep - I don't shrink anything either
now shrivel?
bobbierob

Sep 9 @ 12:23AM  
at least a penis isn't toilet paper.... look at the kind of shit it has to put up with!!

StraddleMyNose

Sep 9 @ 12:38AM  
An oldie but goodie!

Yeah, I agree, this is a classic one!

Hey Whapper...if it makes you feel any better iI wouldn't waste a moment going psycho on your ass...but I would call the ward to come get you and put you where you belong. As far as your interpretation of my comment, you have it wrong. I have never threatened anyone, nor have I put them in their place. They have just have left this place by their own demise.




geena

Sep 9 @ 3:02AM  
funnywhapper

Sep 9 @ 3:45AM  
i've been raised from the dead many times. and not just in effigy.
some people don't believe in hell. that's the first step to going
to hell in this life and the next. but if you like it hot, go right ahead,
jump right in that molten lava and enjoy the heat.
the fuzz will take you right to it anytime you like.
and you can get hot all by yourself. where its too hot to handle.
c'mon baby light my fire, before our love become a funeral pyre.
need a little doors to fire up those firecrackers. its a new idiot
fad of the osama branch. put a firecracker in your mouth, light
it and it blows your head off. why do they do it? to see what
it feels like. all sorts of cool things to experience. its part
of the stupidity movement, that its stupid to be alive.
why not just go to sleep right now, and never wake up.
like, sleeping beauty said to me, why did that god damn prince
wake me up, i was having such
a nice dream and now i woke up to bad breath and a
total nightmare. goddammit. god damn stupid prince. well its another
shitty day for me tomorrow inspecting sewers. aw shit, not again.
oh yes, again. fuck that shit. aw well, off to chump city, where
its fifty to one. god damn pipes. may they split open and
spill crap over the place. people are so 'uptight' over nothing.
its only castles burning. neil young. hysteria.
relax, take it easy, light up a firecracker. now do not do that.
its wrong.
funnywhapper

Sep 9 @ 5:19AM  
so it was all in all just another shitty day and night.
one of my wives got kidnapped and forced into prostitution
because she didn't have the rent money, and neither do i.
so fuck it. shuck it. nantucket. and my god damn
son of a bitch supervisors are always saying i have
to go bed on time so i get be real sharp in the morning
to go live in a pile of shit most of the day. and i smoke
three packs a day, to get rid of the shit smell.
inspecting sewers is the most fucked job anyone could have.
all that gooey gunk of all kinds of shit. and there might
be a bomb down there, a real far out bomb. and i don't
like dirty bombs. do you? no, they are uncool.
when i was almost killed at the l.a.p.d or maybe i was.
i forgot where i was. its shocking. the blasts.
thank god i resigned and got a better job.
no one in their right mind would be a sewer inspector.
this is why i got the job. i mean shit stinks man.
some people think their shit doesn't stink.
maybe not to them, but to others it is foul dude.
makes ya wanna throw up. i took care of granny
who was senile and incontinent for six years.
wiping her ass was really disgusting.
oh gawd. just thinking of it, makes
me wanna just eat crow and talk to the cheeses.
old crow and fox story. fox flatters the crow with cheese,
crow says thanks, and cheese drops into fox's mouth.
tough break mr. crowe. crow elsewhere and have that old crow whiskey
at your side. go blow. no mow. wanna mow lawns?
white guys try to get jobs as gardeners are beat to the punch
by pancho villa. another shitty part of life in calipornia. viva los apaches
and rick roberts. ricardo robertos. the border? its up by the north star actually.
marty

Sep 9 @ 2:49PM  
But I still love my penis
flavorbuster

Sep 9 @ 9:15PM  
on # 4 the taint isn't the closest neighbor or the taint is actually the road to the asshole which is the closest neighbor
southerngent64

Sep 10 @ 6:56AM  
For those who haven't seen/heard this:

Rodney Carrington "Dear Penis"

Cartoon Version
vampyre5150

Sep 11 @ 11:38AM  
Still makes ya chuckle

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Top 10 Reasons It Sucks To Be A Penis....LMAO!