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What % Do You Give?

posted 9/3/2008 2:54:49 PM |
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tagged: humor
  swyeter

What is the key to success today? We have all heard the phrase at some time that you need to give 110%. But isn’t that an impossibility? I think it would be if you consider that if someone does 110% they weren’t putting forth 100% to begin with so the 110% in actuality would only be 100%.

But what makes 100% and what does it really mean to give more than 100%? When your parents, coach, teacher, boss or other individual told you that you needed to give 110% to win, be successful, etc what did they really mean? Or did you ever wonder what those individuals who said they are giving more than 100% were really implying? Is a person who is giving 96% or 98% an underachiever? If so what does it take to be an overachiever, 100%, 105%, 110% or even more?

How do you even measure the percentage a person is achieving or attempting to achieve? Since percentage is a mathematical equation there has to be a mathematical solution. But how do you apply a mathematical formula? Well here is one possibility (note I did not say probability).

Taking the letters of the alphabet:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

And applying a sequential numeric to each
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

We discover that:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

and

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

BUT

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

and

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So what can one conclude from this? While Hard Work and Knowledge may get you close, and Attitude gets you there, it’s the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that really puts individuals over the top.

Now you know how the other person got ahead of you, that is unless you happen to be the one leading the pack.

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Comments:

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rescueremedy

Sep 3 @ 3:27PM  
I`m only a 100% person ........I guess there will always be someone ahead of me ....
Detach

Sep 3 @ 3:55PM  
I agree with you a thousand percent
Ewe_Wish

Sep 3 @ 4:04PM  
I guess I will just stick to 100% and let others try harder.............. well for some I guess being over 100% comes pretty naturally................
theSkwirl

Sep 3 @ 4:30PM  
SNORING
19+14+15+18+9+14+7 = 96% That's all you're gonna get out of me right now..
swyeter

Sep 3 @ 6:38PM  
RR – then I will have to settle for 99% or less for myself since the view would be better than if I was in front of you.

Detatch – Then you are definitely an overachiever.

EW – I should have figured that from you with your “tude”

Skwirly – You are under rating yourself. I heard thru the grapevine that you are a master at LOUD SNORING and that would make you a 12+15+21+4 & 19+14+15+18+9+14+7 = 148% achiever
metalfreak

Sep 3 @ 7:31PM  
V I R G I N = 79%

I guess I just need to put in a little more effort.
sugarnspice005

Sep 3 @ 7:57PM  
I will stick with my 100%
NightOfOld

Sep 3 @ 8:14PM  

Hopefully just a 100% person.
ynot7769

Sep 3 @ 9:11PM  
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

and

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

BUT

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

wana take a stab at where I FIT
Sunshine79

Sep 3 @ 9:22PM  
P-E-R-F-E-C-T = 72%
swyeter

Sep 4 @ 2:29AM  
metalfreak – With a little effort you could become an EXVIRGIN and that would make you 108%.

sugarnspice & NightOfOld – I always knew you two had something in common with EW and now I know what it is, “tude”

ynot7769 – Based on past evidence I would say 16+25+18+15+13+1+14+9+3 = 114% (pyromaniac)

Sunshine79 – You are more like P-E-R-F-E-C-T I O N = 120%
rescueremedy

Sep 4 @ 8:22AM  
I have some ideas ....while you are behind me ...
casuallylooking

Sep 4 @ 1:04PM  
I have a friend that calls me Ms Attitude.....I'm not sure where on earth she would come up with that....

Thanks for sharing this Swyeter...
swyeter

Sep 4 @ 1:18PM  
CL - I won't say who but a friend of yours told me that you put the "at" in "tude"
Wordsofwit

Sep 4 @ 1:29PM  
I may be the only one who is not disillusioned or bullshitting. Day in/day out, I run around 60 percent but kick it into over drive when I need to or am motivated, which is not very often.
swyeter

Sep 4 @ 1:41PM  
WoW - I know exactly what you're saying. I'm RETIRED and that figures out to be 18+5+20+9+18+5+4 = 79%

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What % Do You Give?