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Stranger at the Door

posted 9/3/2008 2:13:34 AM |
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I have a friend who lives about 20 miles from me so when I am in that city I try to stop and visit her for a while and see how she is doing.

She's a bit older than me, lost her husband a few years ago, hates being on her own and unfortunately isn't very independant.

She told me that the other day a woman knocked on her door and asked her if she had any odd jobs that she could do. She said she's a hard worker and really needs the money to feed her 3 children. (Friend "thinks" she has seen the woman walk down the street before)
Friend told her that she was sorry but no she didn't have anything she could do.
Woman asked her "then do you have any money that I could borrow?"

My friend talked to a neighbor that lives about 1/2 mile away who said it sounds like the woman he let shovel his driveway once last winter.Even though he has a snow blower. She was willing to take whatever he would pay for doing it and got almost all of it done before leaving. He paid her $20 before she started and got her the shovel.

I have to admit my first thought is to be concerned for my friend, but luckily she has a very good security system and uses it faithfully.
Next, honestly my mind wanders all over the place.....What if she really does need to feed her children? Is she buying drugs...looking for places or people to rip off..... Does she maybe live on the streets and needs money to eat?

If you were the one to answer the door.......what would you do?

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Comments:

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NightOfOld

Sep 3 @ 5:15AM  

Depending on how she was dressed and how she looked { I mean like clean and not like a drugy or alcoholic ? I would question her a bit further to try and ascertain
her true motives. And if it sounded good I would try to help her what ever way I could.
I knew a woman like that once who really did want to feed her child. She had only one but well. once a week I would go shopping and taker a few bags of groceries
for herself and the boy. She kept wanting to do things for me to repay me. I told her that was not necessary. Just knowing she and the boy were fed and not in danger by asking the wrong person, was payment enough.
I think she grew to have a crush on me after a time, but I did not persue it because I felt that would be taking advantage. She was a good woman and I must say not bad looking, who just fell on hard times. And I know what that is like.
StraddleMyNose

Sep 3 @ 6:47AM  
What if she really does need to feed her children?

I don't see our government letting children starve to death. The woman may be on the welfare roll as far as we know, and if she's not, then she's starving her own kids by not enlisting some kind of help assistance from the government.
soft_touch938

Sep 3 @ 7:20AM  
I am suspicious by nature and I tend to think she needs money for drugs or alcohol. I for one wouldn't let a total stranger in my home to do any odd jobs...that's just asking for trouble.

There are several agencies in our town besides welfare that are in place for the purpose of helping people like that. I would see to it she had the information and even make the phone calls for her or take her there.

My guess is she'd decline the offer.
Sunshine79

Sep 3 @ 7:48AM  
I'd say no thanks and mind my buisness.
keepinganeyeout

Sep 3 @ 8:58AM  
If I were in a position to help I would and have!
Been fortunate enough not to have a bad experince doing so in the past.
How does it go.....there but for the grace of God go thee
jmo.....
bandengor

Sep 3 @ 9:13AM  
I'd say no if I didn't know her and her situation. If they need help, there are other sources they can turn to. You just never know what is actually going through a person's mind when they knock on your door.
theSkwirl

Sep 3 @ 9:50AM  
I don't see our government letting children starve to death.

Is that right? remind mine who lived on Oatmeal for almost a month while mommy dumpster dived to get soda cans to buy them milk. Sorry to tell ya this but sometimes people fall through the cracks.

Not to say that in this case .. that's the deal.. cuz I have no idea.. but it wouldn't be too difficult to investigate.

I'm a soft touch and the bums know it.. they never get more than pocket change.. but .. if I have some.. I hand it over.. except the chick who sits downtown with her "broken leg, please help." sign.. I've seen her get up and walk to her damned VW bus and drive away..
theSkwirl

Sep 3 @ 10:00AM  
This country song.. a long while back.. oh say nearly twenty years ago or so.. and no I can't remember the lyrics or the title..

Something about a woman who knocks on your door wearing dark glasses to hide the black eye... what if they're angels... I've never been able to take the chance that they might not be... or that their story isn't true.

I guess I just trust my higher power to keep me from getting murdered by someone I have tried to help.

Back about the same time as that song... I was in a food4less parking lot.. loading my groceries into the car, a man walks up to me and I'm blinded.. his clothing is all sparkling white and his hair is as well.. he wants to sell me a prayer card. Ok I'm not a Christian... but I bought the guy's prayer card and gave him a couple bucks more. I leaned over to put another bag in the trunk... stood up and he was gone.. nowhere to be seen in the parking lot. That affected me...
Ewe_Wish

Sep 3 @ 10:26AM  
I dont remember a time growing up that someone who came to the door asking for a handout of food or a place to sleep that was warm that my father and mother didnt help. We didnt have nothing really....but we had food and a warm home...and we shared....

today is a different era.....but i wouldnt just let that woman walk away......I wouldnt take a chance on there being 3 kids she needs to feed.....I would either take her to the local food shelf or if one wasnt available i would go thru my own pantry and give her some food...........kids and families slip thru the cracks everyday.......sometimes they move out from abusive situations with no idea what they are going to do.........or where to go for help.........some might even let pride stand in the way to a point......................

There was always someone to help me when things got rough.....I can never repay that no matter how many ppl i help.
casuallylooking

Sep 3 @ 10:59AM  
I guess I just trust my higher power to keep me from getting murdered by someone I have tried to help.
My thoughts exactly, Sam. But I'm not going to risk my friends safety...So I gave her $20 and told her if the woman comes back give it to her, tell her it'a a loan and When she gets back on her feet to give it to someone else who really needs it...
My conscience wouldn't let me not do it....
I don't normally carry money in my pockets, but I had stuck it in my pocket before an appt (to stop and get gas, )so I didn't have to carry my purse.


Chuck, my understanding is she was average, not fancy, but not dirty or grungy looking. And quite nice.

don't see our government letting children starve to death.
I wish I could believe that, but I've seen otherwise. They didn't die from starvation, but it sure was sparce. And the kids were hungry quite often.
Unfortunately as Sam said, some slip right through the cracks....
They make too much money for public assistance, but not enough to pay all their utilites and everyday living expenses and still buy enough groceries to feed their children. Especially with the prices of everything right now..... Hell, how many of us are having a difficult time.......
rescueremedy

Sep 3 @ 11:12AM  
Pride is something that ..... some of these people ...that is all they have left .


They would rather work for the money than ....go to an agency ....i think you also have to have a residence to recieve welfare ..... not be living in a car or ??



I cannot say what i would do ,but i would try to help if she was telling the truth . We do have a food pantry close by and i know one of the ladies who helps down there .

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Stranger at the Door