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When It's Over...Then What?

posted 8/29/2008 5:40:24 AM |
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When you are in a relationship (married, dating, seeing each other, living together, etc..) and you, for whatever reason, decide that you want out of it, what do you do?
Are you the one to call it quits you give the other person reasons to break up with you, hoping they will...or do you just stick it out being unhappy for some reason?

If your significant other were unhappy with you...but you didn't realize it and you were happy...would you want them to be completely honest with you... give you excuses for breaking up... give you reasons to break up with them or stick it out for whatever reasons?

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Aug 29 @ 6:03AM  
would you want them to be completely honest with you..

honesty ALWAYS

Aug 29 @ 6:07AM  
I would talk with that person about our problems and see if we could overcome them. If not then I would let them know that I just don't see it working out. Honesty I feel is always the best policy, but it should also be handled very carefully for that person involved with you. I can see myself still caring for that person, so I wouldn't want to hurt them.

Aug 29 @ 8:13AM  
I would think that if your relationship has been based on honesty from the start that if it got to the point one of us wanted to ended it we would be straightforward and honest enough to be able to set down and talk it out.........perhaps even fixing whatever is wrong to make one of us feel that way. But either way i would want total honest.............

so this your way of telling me.........its over between us........

J/K.............Great Blog........

Aug 29 @ 9:30AM  
In one relationship I felt boxed in by.. I took my partner aside and asked him to give me a reason to stay.. he didn't... I left. so yeah, honesty always.

Aug 29 @ 9:51AM  
honesty! I was in a relationship for over 4 yrs. I told him one night lets talk about anything except work. He couldn't So yeah I broke it off, he is a wonderful man! He just needs to get out of the rut he's in, okay me to

Aug 29 @ 10:19AM deception...takes two to make be alone if that is the case...

Aug 29 @ 10:52AM  
Tough call,
I have let people come to the conclusion that they would be better off without me.
Then there are those that think they can talk down to you and treat you like a child that I have just walked away from.
Of course I have encountered some I simply flat out told it wouldnt work due to their love of an addiction of some sort.
Tough call
And no I'm not saying honesty like everyone else to fit in.
I told the truth

Aug 29 @ 11:28AM  
Hmmmmm I count 8 different question (or choices) in there..........

(most) people hate being the person to call it quits in a relationship. I've seen people do crazy things to try to piss the other one off enough for THEM to be the one to end things. Then you get to be the "injured party". This can also create very hurt feelings and likely ruin any possiblity of ever staying friends after the break up.

I have to wonder if this is a hypothetical question...... for conversation sake, or future reference...... or if you're planning an exit strategy and looking for the path of least resistance......

To really answer that for anyone....... I'd wonder how long they were together. Are they living together? Does the "other" person seem really happy and oblivious....... or are they visibly unhappy too? Is "the issue" one that could be fixed with help or is it truly non-negotiable?

Do you want to still be friends after the breakup? Never want to see them again?
Every cake has a different receipe and you have to select one that is appropriate.

Just slip out the back Jack........
Make a new plan,Stan........
You don't need to be coy, Roy.........

Aug 29 @ 11:53AM  
P.S. to my comment above i wasnt saying everyone else said honesty to fit in.
I was stating that i as in myself wasnt doing that.

Wanted to be clear on that.

Aug 29 @ 11:57AM  
I was stating that i as in myself wasnt doing that just escaped the wrath of a sheep............which can be wooley baaaad/....................

Aug 29 @ 12:11PM just escaped the wrath of a sheep............which can be wooley baaaad/

now would i do that to EWE?

Aug 29 @ 1:36PM  
For me, I tried just outright breaking up, and that didn't work. So I would just start insulting her and looking at other chicks until she was so hurt, she left me.

And if I were in a relationship and the other person weren't happy, of course I would want them to tell me and even break up so they can pursue a better relationship. I might be a bit hurt, but I don't want to be responsible for someone else's misery.

Aug 29 @ 5:26PM  
I have to wonder if this is a hypothetical question...... for conversation sake, or future reference...... or if you're planning an exit strategy and looking for the path of least resistance......
No, Slo, It has nothing to do with my life. Well not directly. I have a friend that I know isn't happy in a relationship but will never leave.

Personally, I've never taken the path of least resistance. I think if one of us isn't happy the other should already know if we've both been honest from the beginning. And if we can't work it out, then we both deserve better. Regardless of how difficult it is to face up to.

The only strategy I'm planning is how to be "with" him.


Aug 29 @ 7:58PM  
Honesty is the only way to go. If you don't you hurt everyone more in the long run.

And life's too short to be sad and miserable all the time. Do everything you can to make it work, and if it's just not going to work, do what needs to be done.

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When It's Over...Then What?