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House Arrest

posted 8/26/2008 11:14:22 PM |
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No, it's not a legal issue . . . but I'm under house arrest. On Wednesday, I had a hysterectomy. The full-grin, old-fashioned, slice-across-the gut variety. I feel like I had a bad date with a Ninja.

When all the issues started, I had to get an OB/gyn. First time I met him, he explained the problem, the treatment, and said, "You won't be able to have sex for two weeks."

Well, the treatment didn't do the trick. After the D&C, he said, "You won't be able to have sex for two weeks."

The findings from the D&C weren't good, so we scheduled the hysterectomy. Two months of waiting for that were a scream, let me tell you. It was like two months of hearing fingernails dragged across a blackboard. Anywho, when I agreed to the hysterectomy, the doc told me about follow-up procedure for it and said, "You won't be able to have sex for eight weeks."

I'd had enough of him by that time. I looked him straight in the eye and said, "You know, meeting you has been hell on my sex life."

I'm just getting to the end of week one. I can't ride in a car - much less drive. No lifting, twisting, stretching. Coughing feels like something the Marquis de Sade invented. Sneezing = Stiletto. And why, oh why, are cats attracted to aching innards?

Maybe in another week or so, when someone calls and asks what I'm doing, I won't answer, "sleeping . . . ."

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Aug 26 @ 11:26PM  
I had a hysterectomy like yours.

Best advice is to walk and gentle stretching. Just go slow. It helps you heal faster and I had sex at 3 weeks... very carefully on my side :) I was 29 back then.

Aug 26 @ 11:41PM  
I want to say with much empathy: "Um,ow." I never had one,but I'm sure it would be hell...hope you get better.

Aug 26 @ 11:45PM  
Thanks for the support!

And, Curves, I gotta say the walking is a hoot. I've made progress; at first, I didn't think I was moving forward at all when I walked. Now, I've got 2-3 inches per stride . . .

Aug 27 @ 12:24AM  
I wish you a speedy recovery and lots of sex when you feel better.

Aug 27 @ 12:53AM  
I was doing stairs after 3 days in the hospital... the nurse came unglued when she caught me. I was holding the rail and had been gone about 2 hours when she went looking

Aug 27 @ 5:14AM  
8 weeks? That's gotta suck!

When I had my vasectomy, I was out of commission for only a weekend, mainly because I had to sit on the couch with a bag of ice on my crotch.

Maybe if doctors had to truly empathize with their patients, say, give up sex for the same amount of time they tell you to do so, they would quickly figure out a way to perform the procedure in a manner that you wouldn't have to do without for so long.

Just a thought!

Aug 27 @ 8:59AM  
ouch! I won't even attempt to say I know how you feel, cause I don't I will just say I hope you get better and umm go read a book?? pst not erotica either

Aug 27 @ 10:01AM  
A hint from the C-section group...

Carry a folded up towel with you for coughing or sneezing.. press it against your belly.. it won't stop the pain, but it won't be quite as hard core.

You have my deepest sympathies.

Aug 27 @ 10:09AM  
I never had a hysterectomy but 40 yrs. ago I had that "full-grin, old-fashioned, slice-across-the gut variety" also for a badly tipped uterus. They cut and tied my tubes at the same time and took out my appendix too. Until you've had your insides cut, rearranged and sewed, one doesn't realize how our guts move and shift around in there.

The first time they sat me up on the edge of the bed I cried so hard it brought tears to the nurses eyes she felt so sorry for me. Three days later when the stitches began to dry up it felt like someone lit matches and layed one on every stitch. Walking was like they sewed your bottom lip to your knees....standing up straight was impossible.

I too climbed my stairs at home before I was suppose to but I sat on each step and lifted my butt to the next one...slow traveling... I rode in the car, and drove about a week before I was suppose to...hey! I got kids goes on, yanno?

So I know what you're going through. Hang in does get better.

Aug 27 @ 6:42PM  
Ladies are strong!!! Glad it went well and I wish you a quick recovery!

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House Arrest