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Mature Older Ladies

posted 8/17/2008 2:36:59 PM |
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A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer : Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driver's license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse with her license in it; and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

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Aug 17 @ 2:45PM  

that hit the spot!

thanx DC

Aug 17 @ 3:02PM  
Love it!!

Aug 17 @ 3:17PM  

Aug 17 @ 3:42PM  


Aug 17 @ 3:46PM  
The best one I saw on here that is on the same subject, I think was posted about a year ago.

A cop pulled a woman over for speeding. "I understand that the police won't write a ticket on a pretty girl," she cooed.

"That is correct," the cop replied. "We won't write a ticket on a pretty girl, please sign here."

Here is are three more I posted in April, may be new for some people.

Everyday an elderly woman, living in a retirement home, would go for a ride on her wheelchair throughout the facility. Almost everyday, an elderly gentleman, a retired police officer, would stop her, and then write her a ticket on note paper for some imagined ‘minor traffic infraction’. One day the woman had had enough of this nonsense and decided to speed away. As a result, the elderly gentleman vigorously pursued her on foot, as they both dashed and weaved in and out of rooms, around carts, and other residents. Finally he caught up to her and pulled her over. "Have you been drinking?" he asked. "The way you were driving and weaving indicates to me that you have." He unbuckled his pants and dropped his drawers. He then continued in a firm voice while holding his cock, “I am going have to ask you to take a breathalyzer.”

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone
rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the
wrong way on the 280. Please be careful!"
"Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's all of them!"

On the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two in the front seat and three in the back -- wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?" Ma'am," the officer replies, you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers." Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. "Before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks. Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."

Aug 17 @ 3:58PM  
I gotta try that, smart lady!!

Aug 18 @ 1:14AM  
My daughter got stopped for speeding years ago but she'd pulled up to the house because she was so close. Anyway she'd been drinking and man does she have guts...

She asked the cop if he had a sense of humor and he said he did and asked her why. So she asks him..."Are you afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?" He said "No" and she asked him..........

"Why not? The other 2 pigs were."

No she didn't get arrested but that cop was HOT!!!

I pulled the same thing on a cop in the donut shop one night during my CB days....he was hot too but after saying he had a sense of humor....what more could he say?

It was a moment to remember....

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Mature Older Ladies