Questions?? posted 8/12/2008 7:12:27 PM | 0 kudos what's this?     report abuse

shyone_4u699

Now here is a question one don't get very often...
A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door. She goes to the door and opens
the door to see a man standing there. He asks the lady 'Do you have a vagina?' She slams the door
in disgust.
The next morning she hears a knock at the door, it is the same man, and he asks the same
question of the woman 'Do you have a vagina'? She slams the door again.
Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has happened for the last two
days. The husband tells the wife in a loving and concerned voice, 'Honey I am taking tomorrow off
to be home just in case this guy shows up again'.
The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both run for the door. The husband says to
the wife in a whispered voice 'Honey, I'm going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the
sam e guy I want you to answer yes to the question because I want to see where he is going with it'.
She nods yes to her husband and opens the door. Sure enough the same fellow is standing there
and asks the same question: 'Do you have vagina'?
'Yes', she says.
The man replies, 'Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife's alone and start
using yours'?
RECTUM STRETCHER
While she was 'flying' down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit), a woman passed over a
bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.
The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know
and love, asked, 'What's your hurry?' To which she replied, 'I'm late for work.'
'Oh yea h,' said the cop, what do you do?'
'I'm a rectum stretcher,' she responded.
The cop stammered, 'A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'
'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three,
then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and
then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide.'
'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?' he asked.
'You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge...'
Shipwrecked
A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 Survivors; Damian,
Darren and Deirdre.
T hey manage to swim to a small island and they lived there for a couple of years doing what's
natural for men and women to do.
After several years of casual sex, all the time, Deirdre felt absolutely horrible about what she was
doing. She felt having sex with both Damian and Darren was so bad that she killed herself.
It was tragic but Damian and Darren managed to get through it and, after while, nature once more
took its inevitable course.
Well, a couple more years went by and Damian and Darren began to feel absolutely horrible about
what they were doing. So they buried Deirdre.
FISHING
An elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both
loved to fish.
Since both of them were widowed, they decided to go fishing to gether the next day. He picked her
up, and they headed to the river to his fishing boat and started out on their adventure.
They were sailing down the river when suddenly there was a fork in the river, and he asked
her,'Do you want to go up or down?'
All of a sudden she stripped and made mad passionate love to him right there in the boat !
When they finished, he couldn't believe what had just happened. He had just experienced the best
sex that he'd had in years.
They fished for a while and continued on down the river, when soon they came upon another fork
in the river.
He again asked her, 'Up or down ?'
There she went again, stripped off her clothes, and made wild passionate love to him again.
This really impressed the elderly gentleman, so he asked her to go fishing again the next day. She
said yes and there they were the next day, in the boat when they came upon the fork in river, and
he asked, 'Up or down ?'
The woman r eplied, 'Down.'
A little puzzled and disappointed, he guided the boat down the river when he came upon another
fork in the river and he asked her,'Up or down ?'
She replied, 'Up.'
This really confused him, so he asked, 'What's the deal? Yesterday, every time I asked you if you
wanted to go up or down you made mad passionate love to me. Now today, nothing!'
She replied, 'Well, yesterday I wasn't wearing my hearing aid and I thought the choices were fuck or drown.'

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