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The Night You Barely Recall That You Wish You Couldn't Remember

posted 8/10/2008 3:50:42 AM |
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  Wordsofwit

About 30 years ago I went to this apartment in north Dallas to party with some people. At around 10:30 somebody decided we should all go to this club. I recall arriving but little after that. I just remember waking up around five and being so blown away by the naked woman next to me that I didn't know. To say she was large was an understatement. She was in a deep sleep snoring like a freight train. Once I got my wits about me and could kind of see in the darkness, I recall thinking, "Is all of this one person?" She was rather homely on top of that. Kind of resembled someone here on AMD but I won't say who.

I just put on my pants and shirt and hurried out carrying my socks and shoes. Thank god it was at her place. I had to pull into a 7/Eleven to inquire as to what town I was in as I didn't know. I asked how to get to Irving and clerk didn't know. I then just asked how to get to Dallas as I could find my way home from there.

Nothing was ever said by anyone about it, fortunately. A couple of years later when I had been dating my future wife for about a month, she and I went to a Monday Night Football party and a rather large woman looked vaguely familiar. Regrettably, she had a much clearer recall of one particular evening a couple of years earlier than I did. After a while some sordid details were revealed to my future wife.

Driving back home, she grilled me about it, explaining that this person was rather promiscuous and that she was embarrassed by hearing about it from her friends. I was lectured about sleazes and diseases. I replied that I honestly didn't recall meeting that person and just let it go at that. We never saw her again.

I am not going to ask if anyone else had a similar experience, because I know damned well most of you have. Tell us about it.

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Comments:

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Wordsofwit

Aug 10 @ 4:03AM  
Over time concerning people that I have been with, I realized that I only remember the first, last, best, worst, and weirdest.
Sunshine79

Aug 10 @ 9:05AM  
Yes.....I have woke up in MY bed next to some strange guy before....Wondering "WTF was I thinking??"

C'mon Bruce, who does she remind you of?
southerngent64

Aug 10 @ 9:13AM  
WoW, I've had a few of 'em, but they happened a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. Between the booze I drank and the fading memory, I can't recall them. Lucky me!

What I really hated, though, was the BS stories (lies, all lies!) that came after. Guys who were at the party would try to get me to believe that I did something, or some girl, that I knew didn't happen. I would have been able to tell by the sticky underwear the next AM if I did hook up with a girl. Did I just say that?
Hevn84

Aug 10 @ 9:37AM  
Nope, I've never awakened to a strange woman in my bed!

onehornytoad69

Aug 10 @ 9:55AM  
Nope It hasnt happened YET! But I'm willing!!!
Wordsofwit

Aug 10 @ 10:19AM  
I've had a few of 'em, but they happened a long time ago

Same here. I can't recall anything like that since the seventies. The younger I was, the more likely it was to happen. I think it was just a matter availability and I had nothing or nobody better to do at that particular moment. We kind of silently had an agreement: I'll pretend that you are good looking and you pretend I am interested. I'll admit it, I was pretty sleazy, but weren't we all?

About ten years ago a friend of mine came back down from Larwill, Indiana to look for work. My daughter was living with me at the time. There was a spare bedroom with a bed, but my pal opted to crash on the couch. I came back on a Saturday morning having went out with my girlfriend the night before and spent the night at her place.

Upon arrival, I noted that he had helped himself to some Crown Royal and drank the better part of a fifth. My daughter had already gone into work. When he got up around noon, I noticed that his lips were swollen up and he had no recollection of what caused the swelling. He left to go back to Indiana a few days later.

A couple of weeks later, my daughter came home fuming as she hadn't talked to her bud in a couple of weeks. What had happened went something like this. She and her girlfriend, a large girl who was built like a guy, had went clubbing. When they came in, my pal was crashed on the couch. My daughter went into her room and her friend went into the other and passed out on the bed fully clothed with her shoes on. About four in the morning she woke up to find my pal next to her. This sobered her up instantly as he is about 20 years older and has never been mistaken for Tom Cruise.

Still bombed, he said, "Hi, I thought you might want a man. I know I'm not much, but neither are you." She knocked him off the bed and jumped to her feet. As he got up, she popped him in the mug and laid him out, then immediately left.
Ewe_Wish

Aug 10 @ 10:26AM  
I love it when your in a story telling mood Bruce..........you are totally hysterical..........


Great Blog.
theSkwirl

Aug 10 @ 10:35AM  
It's not nice to call me fat and homely Bruce...even if I am. :P

Only one time do I ever recall waking up with someone I didn't remember going to bed with.. but I later found out.. I hadn't.. he'd just been looking for somewhere to crash and I had a big bed.
theSkwirl

Aug 10 @ 10:37AM  
I might add, that this is exactly the reason I won't fuck a drunk. I'm not gonna be the girl they woke up next to and wanted to chew their arm off.. ever..
Wordsofwit

Aug 10 @ 10:44AM  
I won't fuck a drunk

I never knew a woman that picked up a drunk unless she was one, or married to him.
Sunshine79

Aug 10 @ 10:58AM  
Damn...all I gotta say is "You go girl!!"

My sister once invited her drunken boyfriend over to our house and I had a girlfriend sleeping over. He said some lewd comment to her while we were on our porch. I gave him one swift right hook and knocking him over a 3 foot wall, breaking both his knee caps....hopefully he learned to never speak to a lady that way again!!!
soft_touch938

Aug 10 @ 12:47PM  
It's funny...usually I'm an open book but methinks I'm just gonna sneak on through, leave a kudo for a good blog and slip out the backdoor.....
Pornosaurus

Aug 10 @ 1:28PM  
That's why I try to tip well. I think I can say that honestly I have yet to have sex with someone while in that kind of state myself. I think I'd know in the morning. I can also say that honestly I have as of yet to have sex with someone who I at first meet at a bar.
NightOfOld

Aug 10 @ 1:37PM  

Hey Bruce;

Look at the good side of it. At least you didn't wake up and find you were
married to her.
StraddleMyNose

Aug 10 @ 8:38PM  
Nope, I don't have any stories like that. I guess I'm too innocent and old fashion.

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The Night You Barely Recall That You Wish You Couldn't Remember