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What do you really exspect????

posted 8/7/2008 3:04:04 PM |
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Hi my fellow deviants long time no blog ...I have recently became Jaded. I am feeling reallly cynical of men these days just in general....I am not mad or happy I am just "I plain don't care" Now don't get me wrong I still loolk I just don't give much credence to what is bein said to me on an intimate level....So what is going on with you

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Aug 7 @ 3:31PM  

ME. I'm just looking for someone to love. Not just sexually, but really love. And I tell it like it is. No lying, cheating, or B.S. but honesty, truthfulness,
faithful and loving. But I guess my age is a factor. What can I say.

Aug 7 @ 8:44PM  
I'd say the same as Night......age caveat included

To be honest, it's tough to stay optomistic, when the hate seeps in faster and faster, and the callousness of people, starts younger and younger.
I was talking to my mom (*shrugs* ......... yeah, I know my username means I'm a meely-mouth, anti-human, with ass-for-brains, and no decency whatsoever)........ and I told her exactly how I feel.

It's as if you've gotta wait, until people are done "having their fun", and allowing life to do to them what it will (let your imagination run wild with you), You'll [then] be considered seriously. and pursued as such. In other words, no amount of self-assurance and confidence in yourself, can combat the days where on some levels, you just feel like year old chili.

That's where my sense of humor comes in. I use it to alleviate the stressor that comes from being made out to be the worst, when you're raised to be your best.
My dad was never around. He's still out there, fathering kids with lord knows how many women. I am not doomed to repeat his patterns. Why ? Because I love him enough to be the man, he could never be. When I model that behavior (notice I said model, not run my mouth about how "nice" I am) What am I written off as......

[......let's take a gander shall we ?]

.... a "pussy"
... queer
.... just a great friend
..... not man enough
......... "beta" male (whatever the hell that means)

I realsie I'm not the prize horse. I'm soft-spoken, I'm 6'2", I'm lanky, I have a goofy walk, but when I close my eyes [hoping I'm graced to have them opened again] I can rest, knowing that there's good stuff over here. For better or worse, I have to hope that someone sees what's going on. Until then I return back to my abode, from which my muse comes.

I'm but one among millions. What do I know ?

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What do you really exspect????