When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.... so, I took her to a gas station.
And that's how the fight started...
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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, Unbutton your shirt. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.
And that's how the fight started...
************************************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, "Do you know her? "Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend." I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since. My God! said my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And that's how the fight started...
************************************************
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!" So I looked down at him and said, "Well then, which one are you?"
And that's how the fight started...
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| And that's how the fight started......... |
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StraddleMyNose
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Aug 4 @ 6:30PM
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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, "Do you know her? "Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend." I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since. My God! said my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And that's how the fight started...
 I like this one!
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1bunny629
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Aug 4 @ 6:59PM
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I love you for keeping me laughing everyday...I got the "you might get laid off talk today"...I will loose everything. I am still here, still laughing, and if I had a dollar for every wanna fuck, can I please that pussy, your pics are making me so hard right now,and the 100's of other comons and slight promises I have recieved in almost 2 years here on AMD I could pay my house note and maybe keep my utilities on for 6 months...ha! What a life that would be...promises promises....still laughing and Sunshine is the pill! I will keep poppin till I have no more to pop! Thanks honey...
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girlcountry
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Aug 4 @ 7:30PM
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You are one crazy lady!! 
I love your humor, as Bunny said, you keep me laughing!! thanks!
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ThePurpleProphet
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Aug 4 @ 7:38PM
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My wife and I were sitting at the table waiting for the other to start the convversation. Finally breaking the silence my wife opened her mouth
And that's how the fight got started.
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After a long day my wife and finally had a moment to ourselves.
And that's how the fight got started.
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I had just flushed the toilet and on the way out my wife was going in. I heard a splash.
And that's how the fight got started.
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BigFlirt
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Aug 4 @ 11:42PM
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Those were funny...
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rescueremedy
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Aug 4 @ 11:54PM
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very cute ....Thank you for the laughs
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onehornytoad69
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Aug 5 @ 12:04AM
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Loved all of them, Thx!
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