• home
• people
• blogs
• forums
• videos
• tags
• online dating
• help

thoughts on grieving... posted 7/24/2008 1:10:26 AM | 9 kudos what's this?     report abuse   Looking4ever A lot of people have been sharing their grief lately and it has left me pondering. Maybe too much. I allowed myself some tears as I thought back on memories I have of people that have meant something important to me. I spent some time reading a few articles on death and friendship and love today. Had a little pity party in the mist of it too. But, it left me wanting to write something. It may not be profound and may not move most of you. But, if only one other person is comforted by my thoughts, maybe I won't be feeling as selfish as I have been lately.... We grieve the loss of a loved one because we miss them terribly. We grieve their loss because a part of us has left with them, to a certain extent. We experience very raw feelings of loss and those are very human feelings. We cannot keep those feelings from rising up within us. The more we allow those feelings to surface naturally, the more we allow the grieving process to take its natural course. If grief is not allowed to take its course it becomes "unresolved grief" and can lead to greater difficulties later on. How can anyone who has truly loved another in life not grieve their absence? It would be horrible to pretend that this person did not mean the world to us and that we are suddenly "okay" with them no longer being a part of our lives. We never "get over" the loss of someone close to us. We form a new relationship with them - a relationship of memory. It is important to talk with others about them, to tell their story over and over again, to recall moments with them that were precious. This is all part of the grieving process. No one can determine how long that process will take for another person. Sometimes people who are uncomfortable with loss will urge us "to move on...get on with our life." We need not let anyone else determine how or how long we will grieve. Grief is very personal and unique because the relationship we had with our loved one is very personal and unique. Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

read more blogs! Blogs by Looking4ever: On The Good Ship Judgmental Guys don't make passes at girls that wear glasses TODAY'S EAR WORM THE LAW OF THE GARBAGE TRUCK Ear worms... thoughts on grieving... Aphorisms... We met online... Sleep with me? is IT in you?

StraddleMyNose	Jul 24 @ 1:18AM
	If grief is not allowed to take its course it becomes "unresolved grief" and can lead to greater difficulties later on. You got that right! How can anyone who has truly loved another in life not grieve their absence? It would be horrible to pretend that this person did not mean the world to us and that we are suddenly "okay" with them no longer being a part of our lives. We never "get over" the loss of someone close to us. You hit the nail right on the head with this part! Grief is very personal and unique because the relationship we had with our loved one is very personal and unique. Another part of life! Good blog. A kudo thrown your way, "Looking"...
Ewe_Wish	Jul 24 @ 1:20AM
	Thanks L4E.........your words touched me deeply.........I thought I was so prepared when G died.....that I wouldn't have to grieve......i knew it was coming and expected it........and yet my world fell apart when he did die........I am to the point now that I dont cry everyday..........but in my own way I grieve for him daily.......although i would never want him back if he had to come back and suffer like he was.........and i am grateful for the time I had with him........there isnt a day that goes by that something doesnt happen that i want to share with him........and I guess maybe now thats what I grieve the most for.......being able to talk to my best friend. Great blog.......Thank you for sharing with us........
em_tae10	Jul 24 @ 1:20AM
	Well said!
casuallylooking	Jul 24 @ 1:22AM
	Sometimes when we lose someoen we just can't help but feel the pain and all that comes with it...But there has been a time in my life when I lost someone very dear to me and I didn't grieve for many years...I just stayed completely numb about it..I'm not sure if my mind was protecting my heart or the other way around...But one day, not too long ago, it came crashing down and all sorts of emotions and feelings opended up. It was like losing that person all over again. Excellent blog....
keepinganeyeout	Jul 24 @ 1:30AM
	wow, i'm speechless! having lost my mother to cancer last year, you summed it up perfectly. great blog!
1bunny629	Jul 24 @ 1:35AM
	My boyfriend died 9/11, I grieve. For 5 years every time I looked at my watch or pc or anyother time piece it was something 11...No matter, I have lost many; and even more in the past 2 years. We live, we love, and we still don't have it as bad as most. i remember when I saw my brother on the wall in DC. He lost everything before he had ever truly loved. Life...isn't it something. Keep the love, sgare the love, and be happy you had a chance to love!
borty293	Jul 24 @ 1:43AM
	I believe grief helps us in our daily life if we allow it too. Grief makes us examine what's important in life and gives us an opportunity to change negatives into positives...wonderful blog
Looking4ever	Jul 24 @ 1:45AM
	Grief makes us examine what's important in life and gives us an opportunity to change negatives into positives Sounds like a man that has learned a thing or two...
onehornytoad69	Jul 24 @ 1:45AM
	Thx Lady.. I needed that!!!! Every single thing you said is so very Ture!!! I'll not make a comment, cause you Said it all! The Lady Passing away that I have wrote a couple of blogs about, was just a "Friend" of a Friend..... She was In my life for a Season, a Season.. that I will cherish for the rest of My life! Thx for the blog!!!
1bunny629	Jul 24 @ 1:54AM
	Thank you for posting! I kudo you...and all the ones you loved. They were all very fortunate to have you! Murphey
onehornytoad69	Jul 24 @ 1:55AM
	Grief makes us examine what's important in life and gives us an opportunity to change negatives into positives Amen!! Well Said!!!
casuallylooking	Jul 24 @ 2:07AM
	Grief makes us examine what's important in life and gives us an opportunity to change negatives into positives... Very well said...Amazing how something as final as death can teach us how to make new beginnings.
Sunshine79	Jul 24 @ 7:55AM
	I just lost someone over the weekend. I don't think it's even hit me yet that they are really gone.......
soft_touch938	Jul 24 @ 10:53AM
	Kudo. Most people avoid the subject of death and grieving but it is a part of life that we all have to experience. It's a subject we need to talk about and share openly for in doing so there are things there that will help someone somewhere to walk that path when they come face to face with it. If you don't mind I'd like to write a blog adding to the things you've said? There has been so much grieving lately...I lost my friend, Bruce is losing his and from the comments I see there have been other recent losses. We're a community here to offer support and love to others in times like these. I love you all and my heart hurts for those who are hurting. Those are not just empty words...they are true. Softie
bandengor	Jul 25 @ 12:34PM