Sunshine79
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Jul 22 @ 10:20PM
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We are women, we analyze. It's just us. You just gotta let your guard down and take a chance. It's the only way you will know and no matter what the outcome, good or bad-you will come out stonger.
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Ewe_Wish
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Jul 22 @ 10:25PM
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Only you can decide what the problem is Aly........look inside yourself and be honest with how you are feeling...........Having your heart broken takes time to repair itself.......and it might be a case of deep down inside you think you that maybe you shouldnt have cared so much for someone that cheated on you..or you think all men are like that........trusting someone isnt easy but sometimes it just takes a leap of faith and just go with the flow.......when the right man comes along you will know it..........and you will instinctively know you can trust him...........sometimes we choose relationshps that are doomed to fail because deep down inside we might think we deserve that...........it isnt true Aly......you are a good person who deserves to be loved.........he will find you...........just have some patience...............
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StraddleMyNose
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Jul 22 @ 10:27PM
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You just gotta let your guard down and take a chance
With what Megan said, I will also add that all relationships have risks involved.
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alybai42
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Jul 22 @ 10:34PM
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You just gotta let your guard down and take a chance.
If this strange feeling would go away. I think it is called being scared.
sometimes we choose relationshps that are doomed to fail because deep down inside we might think we deserve that
Don't I know that one real well.
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redbronze
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Jul 22 @ 10:36PM
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Do you ever question your man picker.... That may well be your problem your picker needs some adjusting.. Know this though, it will be the guy you cannot pick apart that will be the one you should be with, cause if you can pick em apart and the bits are not tasty then it is not worth the time, money, and effort that you will put into it all, thinking I can live with this, when in actuality you cannot..
So sister keep picking and see where it takes you.. Smile
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southerngent64
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Jul 22 @ 10:39PM
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Aly, here's what's wrong with you...
you're HUMAN!
You were hurt pretty badly and you're still recovering from it. Until you finish the healing process, you're going to be a little (or a lot) defensive. Don't worry about it. It will go away in time.
My suggestion is to kidnap a 21 year old kid for a long weekend and bang him until he can't take it any more, then bang him some more.
Anyway, we're here for ya, babe!
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NightOfOld
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Jul 22 @ 10:39PM
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I think your problem is you're still stuck on him. It is obvious because you are still remembering dates. Until you can let go, get in out of your mind, and move on ?
You will continue to find fault with any man you see or meet.
That's not to say that we all don't have faults of one kind or another. But we are not all cheaters. Everybody has faults. No man, or woman for that fact is perfect.
You just look for someone who you think may be close for you, And take a chance.
Just my opinion. 
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alybai42
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Jul 22 @ 10:43PM
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My suggestion is to kidnap a 21 year old kid for a long weekend and bang him until he can't take it any more, then bang him some more
Know any  
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clickedanad2
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Jul 22 @ 10:46PM
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once bitten - twice shy
and
you aren't just looking for "anyone"
you're waiting for "the one"
when you see him you'll know it
til then
relax - enjoy
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alybai42
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Jul 22 @ 10:46PM
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I think your problem is you're still stuck on him.
 I do ask myself if he came back into my life would I take him back..NO..Can't trust him.
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alybai42
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Jul 22 @ 10:49PM
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[ you're waiting for "the one"
That could be..I wonder where he is  I hope he has a home of his own, a nice harley, and a good job.
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themama
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Jul 22 @ 11:01PM
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I was the same way.. Was with a guy a very long time ago hurt me real bad...
Was trying to leave him he would not have it. He ended up in jail for a D.U.I.....
Well one night I went out with a friend of mine meet this guy at a bar(Yeah not a good thing to do  ) Well it worked ... Took me a long time to trust him in not hurting me.. But well it has been 22 years later and am very happily in love w/ him still 
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1bunny629
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Jul 22 @ 11:02PM
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There is nothing wrong with you. We all have these times in our lives. I am sorry it happens. I am so sorry how bad it hurts. I promise you I am crying for you now, and all those that have ever been hurt. I guess that would be everyone. I got hurt in 1983...I still hurt. I get up everyday and sometimes it is there and sometimes it has gone away. In the mean time I have shut out everyone that ever took a chance on loving me. I don't have the answer.
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TheBlkSiren
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Jul 22 @ 11:03PM
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Believe me...there is nothing wrong with you! I've felt the same way and still have trouble trusting sometimes. There seems to always be a side of myself that sits back and watches to see where the chips will fall. Oftentimes I know within a couple of minute what issues the person in front of me will bring out in myself. If he's worthy, go for it. Listen to your intution and once you do, you will understand that it's not men you have to learn to trust, but yourself. Best of luck!
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onehornytoad69
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Jul 23 @ 12:08AM
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We all have been hurt.. well most of us have...I know I have!!!
I have only had a couple of relationships since my Divorce, (6 years ago) I hav'nt been dating much.. lack of time and desire... and Finding someone I wanna date is damn near Impossible!
But Im gonna go for it!!
So what if I get hurt again, thats Life, there are not any Promises that it wont happen 50 more times! Oh well!!
I want memories... I wanna Live!!!! The hell with being scared, and that is the Bottom line with me...I'm just scared of getting hurt!
So I'm gonna Suck up the Fear and Give it a wirl!!!
I'm sure there will come a time in Your Life where You will get Pissed off at yourself, Like I am at myself, Life is short..Lets Live!!!!
Take a risk/chance, but you and only You will know when You are ready! My 2 cents!!!
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Looking4ever
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Jul 23 @ 12:22AM
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Some damn good advice people are sharing...
As for me, one of the things I have repeated over and over in my head is this:
I refuse to let other people to make me the kind of person I don't want to be.
I have found it to help my attitude in a lot of situations...not just the male/female relationship.
Only you can decide how much risk you can allow yourself to take. But, remember, he is not all men and by avoiding risk you are also denying yourself potential happiness. You can't win if you don't play.
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southerngent64
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Jul 23 @ 6:40AM
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Aly, sometimes I feel like a 21 yo! 
Seriously, though, I thought about it, and I do have some advice for you.
Back when I could handle the booze, my first step in getting over a broken heart would be to get shit faced, pie eyed, please stop the world from spinning so I can find the toilet drunk. Not something I would recommend now.
Here's another thought: Get Busy! Pick up an old hobby or dive into a new one. Do something, ANYTHING, to occupy your mind. I've been there, and it helps.
If you think house painting would help, lemme know! I'll keep ya busy for days and days! 
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wtxman
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Jul 23 @ 7:01AM
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