AMD Blog weekend brings you the story of the Little Man who wanted to communicate to his woman. “There are things that I would rather expirence over heartache” he said to her……”and I have concerns about Why are all the people on here fakes? I Am Ready to lose my mind.”
She turned to him after sitting her beer can down, picked up a cigerette taking her time in lighting it, reaches down scratches her ass………and says slowly……..”Personally I think you spend way to much time on AMD searching for the The Famous Clit. You know, there really is Too Much of A Good Thing and instead of being on there you should do More sharing with me about Things That Go Bump in the night.
“FYI....so you know……..the reason I divorced the last time is because I gave my wife too much. She always said that she liked it thick and veiny and that’s what I gave her.” He said.
“Yes you did,” She replied……”but she wasn’t talking about your nose. Now put down your Twinkies and root beer and lets discuss this rationally.”
“Hey, I was good to her, not like that Man From Texas, who when looking at her tits couldn’t tell How to tell the real from the fake sides. Its not my fault that we could only afford the breast implant for one side, if she had stayed with me I would have gotten the other side done. I probably would have left eventually because she was always using The N-word when it came to sex.”
The wife looks at him confused, “The N-Word?”
“Yes, the N-word, he said, “everytime I asked her if tonight was the night we were having sex she told me NO!!”
“I have a Riddle for you,” the wife says. “IF a top male stripper can get her to straddling nose anal style than why couldn’t you get her to say yes once in a while?”
“What do you mean?” he asks.
“Is sex a sport to you? Do you think its like going to Starbucks and paying for you order? We women have feelings too you know? We like it when you're romantic with us…..court us………flirt with us……love us……..bring us a cold beer once in a while……..” She said.
“I’m telling you that the reason we split up is I gave my wife too much.” He retorts angrily.
“Oh yea I am sure you did…….what was it you told me I love 69, it drives me insane……….yet everytime we are doing it you get so involved in me sucking your cock you just moan and never lick or suck on me at all………its more like a 34 ½ if you ask me. And when I told you that we needed to get something to help us spice up our sex life what did you do…….you went out and bought a book called…..For the Uninhibited Splittail that only showed the things I could do for you………While you just laid there………Holy Cum Buckets the only time I have had an orgasm since I met you is when you were at work and I put new batteries in BOB. I have a Madison News Flash for you here Bud, as a lover you suck royally. …and not in a good way. You spend your time telling jokes about what a great lover you are and that’s all it is jokes. I have been wondering why you and your friends sit around and bitch about the lousy lays your women are and I have thought of asking you Can you all figure it out why Older men are better lovers………..its because they know that it takes more than a quick kiss on the ear to put us in the mood. I'm Sorry to beat a dead horse, but this is really happening again and again with you………no foreplay, just go straight at the fucking and I have tried to tell you many times I don’t enjoy that and I’m at the point of just throwing my hands up in the air and screaming I give up.”
He sits there taken aback, they have discussed this before but he never paid much attention as long as she would finally give in and he could fuck her until he came and than roll over and go to sleep…………….He tries pacifying her…”But honey I do try to be romantic…………didn’t I just buy you the book called the ABC’s of BDSM?”
He sees her face turn red, he can tell she is really pissed now……..”Listen asshole” she screams. “If I tie your ass up, you can bet it won’t be for sexual pleasure.”
“But sweetheart.” He coos, “Didn’t I write you a love letter not long ago?”
“No, you wrote a Hot Erotic letter for all of the Sexy Horny Women you work with, I am not stupid it was a photocopy on company letterhead. I hope they fire your ass for sexual harassment.”
He sits there quietly for a moment thinking, finally he turns to her and says……….”Does this mean we will not be having sex today?”
She slams down her beer, slowly puts her cigarette out and looks him straight in the eye and says……….”Only if you go fuck yourself”
There ends another weekend saga of the AMD Blogs……….
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
|
|
read more blogs!
Blogs by Ewe_Wish:
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Another AMD Weekend Blog Saga............... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|