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When I get to heaven, can I have my testicles back?

posted 7/13/2008 8:35:20 AM |
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tagged: dogs, sunshine


Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

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Jul 13 @ 9:28AM  
Those were cute...have a greenie treat......

Jul 13 @ 9:49AM  

Jul 13 @ 10:08AM  

Jul 13 @ 11:47AM  
Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
dogs aren't the only ones askin' that

a greenie for the grin

Jul 13 @ 12:54PM  

Good one hun

I'll give a greeny too.

Jul 13 @ 7:09PM  
These are pretty cute!

Jul 13 @ 7:56PM  
OMG!!!! I had to make sure my dogs didn't see me reading this! Might give them ideas.

btw..I'm still trying to convince my dogs that my cat is NOT a squeak toy.

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When I get to heaven, can I have my testicles back?