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Forgiving...How many chances?

posted 7/7/2008 4:50:53 AM |
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  casuallylooking


We are all adults..or at least supposed to be. Age actually has nothing to do with it, and actions tell it all.
But my point is, we've all made mistakes in our lives and had mistakes made against us. At least once.

So, when that happens, when is forgiveness Not an option for you?

Whether it's a family member,a friend--even your best--, a spouse, someone who has been in your life for years or someone you just recently fell in love with.

When do you say, finished, no, not again, it's over, go away, get out of my life or just walk away without a word and close all those doors permanently? Or do you ever do that?
When have you reached your limit, the first time or the time that was just the very last time?
When or what can you not forgive? What aren't you willing to forgive?

Or are you a person that feels if someone betrays or does that 'whatever thing' that it's all over right then and there?
Do you believe in giving second chances?

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Comments:

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ynot7769

Jul 7 @ 6:07AM  
realy DEPENDS on what i'm forgiving
whisperingcomet

Jul 7 @ 6:18AM  
Something done without malice....easily forgiven.

Lies, unfaithfulness, deceit...things that the "doer" knew were unforgiveable....not so easily. Usually these things only get one chance with me, is that right...I dont know, but that is the only way I can live with me.
LilGriz

Jul 7 @ 7:44AM  
Depending on the person - relationship, I usually give a second and once a third chance. Sometimes the other person won't admit to the problem, then it's over, but usually without hard feelings. With a certain exception, of course.
manwithoutahorse

Jul 7 @ 9:09AM  
Scriptures say forgive "seventy times seven" times. My experience is that it depends on whether the person doing the forgiving will benefit from with holdding that forgiveness. As with everything else in life, the question seems to come down to "What's in it for me?"

I forgive too easily and too quickly for my own good sometimes...but I never forget.
rescueremedy

Jul 7 @ 9:18AM  
I agree ...no one is perfect ....we all make mistakes...... and who am i to judge

Good Blog ...
onehornytoad69

Jul 7 @ 9:23AM  
I have a big ole heart... and I couldnt hold a grudge if I had to... !
But it really depends on what I'm forgiving...!

Whats the Old saying...fool me once shame on you.. fool me twice shame on me!
My 2 cents!
loveableone

Jul 7 @ 9:24AM  
I probably forgive too easily - but there is an extent to that. If things are happening continuously, and my easy nature taken advantage of, then yes, I find it harder to trust and forgive - as anyone I know personally knows - trust is the key factor in all relationships with me! Have a great day!!
Ashinatrix

Jul 7 @ 9:47AM  
I generally always forgive once............






































..........once.
NightOfOld

online now!
Jul 7 @ 9:55AM  

Heaven knows I have made mistakes, my biggest one; being born.

As the saying goes, Trust must be earned. So to must friendship.

But I am like loveableone and hornytoad. My heart is to big and I tend
to forgive to easily I accept friendships, and trust everyone until they do
me wrong. Even then I forgive to easily. And I always end up paying for
it in the end. But that's just me. I guess I'm to old to change
slohand_47

Jul 7 @ 11:58AM  
I counted 8 questions in there. Rather than try to answer all, I'll just summarize. It's hard to give specific answers to general questions. Every situation is different.

It is easy to forgive..... darn near impossible to forget.

You can forgive someone..... and still choose to not put yourself in a position to be hurt again. That's 2 separate issues.

Second chances depend on how serious or mean the first offense was. (vs something that was merely stupid or insensitive)

Detach

Jul 7 @ 12:34PM  
I can deal with lying, Women do it all the time. I can take cheating, if we have established that our relationship is an open one. The only thing I won't tolerate is being hit in anger by a partner. They are out the door before the redness shows up on my face.
casuallylooking

Jul 7 @ 12:37PM  
counted 8 questions in there
lol...Slo, I'm a woman, who was up all nite when I wrote this...Of course I got carried away with the questions........... Forgive me? lol

Hey, at least I didn't wake you up to ask what you were thinking....

I usually forgive the first time rather easily...(we all make mistakes) depending on What it was and Why...But even though I may forgive does not mean I am willing to place myself in the situation to go through it again...... again it depends on what it was...

I believe if I can't forgive I can't ask for forgiveness...and I am constantly asking God for forgiveness about something...
SexPet

Jul 7 @ 12:48PM  
This reminds me of something in the Bible...

If I don't forgive others, God won't forgive me.

So, you bet I forgive...

I forgive my ass off *giggles*

Seriously though, I am a good forgiver.
However, lies are the hardest thing for me to forgive.
Lies from a stranger are expected.
Lies from a loved one just plain hurts and makes me feel SO alone, sad, mad, let down and betrayed.

But, I will ALWAYS try to forgive ANYTHING.
That doesn't mean I"ll forget though.
casuallylooking

Jul 7 @ 12:53PM  
I can deal with lying, Women do it all the time
Then you are having the wrong women in your life...NOT all women lie, and I resent that implication.. Just like not all men lie..buy Many Do.

only thing I won't tolerate is being hit in anger by a partner. They are out the door before the redness shows up
From many of your replies I have read on blogs, you and I tend to have differences of opinions on many things......BUT this one.....I totally agree. Hit me in anger and you'll regret it for a really long time..Not to mention, one of us is gone right then and there...for good!!
HollyHummy

Jul 7 @ 2:54PM  
I try to put myself in the other person’s shoes, there have been times I’ve gotten angry with someone and normally I get over it quickly. After all we are human and there is bound to be something’s that can be ironed out and over looked.
All people have strings attached to them especially as they get older, past marriages children from past marriages even older parents that may need looking after etc.

If I have a negative feeling about the person, something like a premonition that they’re possible dangerous or they’re doing something illegal, acting like they have something to hide I won’t continue the relationship long.
If a man HURTS my children/grandchildren, either physically or verbally they’re GONE NO SECOND CHANCES.
If a relationship has more bad memories then good one’s I’ll leave the relationship,
but only after we've tried to make it work, and the problems had nothing to do with child abuse.
juliecd

Jul 7 @ 3:50PM  

I have been insulted,called names and basically treated like dirt.
When I realised who I was and who I must be,I knew that it was going to be an upward battle.I knew finding friends was not going to be easy.But the friends I have made I cherish them with all my heart.I have been hurt a lot,but I can not be unforgiving of them because I know they don`t understand. I use the hurting words as a strength for me to continue with my life the way I want to live it. I have made a lot of friends on AMD and I am very grateful to them all.

Julie Lynne
Lisa46

Jul 7 @ 3:52PM  
It is easy to forgive..... darn near impossible to forget.


Isn't that the truth?? I refuse to forgive anyone who hits me in anger (luckily never have been) I will give someone another chance unless its cheating on me. Sorry folks I take a person's word if they break that then I don't need him. Sex is to casual nowadays and If i'm involved and he goes out and trys "oh honey it didn't mean anything" forget it that is just soooo tacky
ladybootscooter

Jul 7 @ 4:27PM  
I've always had the theory of screw me over once, shame on you.
Screw me over twice, shame on me for still being there.
Forgive, easy. Forget, nope.
luscious_bbwpa

Jul 7 @ 5:12PM  
Being the diplomatic Librain that I am I am always way to forgiving,...Life's to short to hold a grudge and be miserable over it.You never know what tomorrow lies ahead of you.... And I always stop and think if Jesus can forgive as easily as he did and forgive all those people who beat him and crucified him...then I can forgive also. Doesn't mean I can't be mad tho!! LOL
I'm a catholic what can I say

Great blog Trease!! Kudos to you
borty293

Jul 7 @ 5:26PM  
If it is a major transgression like stealing or physical or emotional abuse...then to forgive is to allow them to repeat the same behavior again....then I need to ask the question...why did I attract that type of individual in the first place? What changes do I need to make in my life to not attract those types of people?
DangerousLiaison

Jul 7 @ 6:15PM  
I have forgiven things I never thought I would. At the same time, I have held grudges towards people I never thought I would. It depends on how bad it hurts, I guess.
sugarnspice005

Jul 7 @ 10:01PM  
For me..it depends on who and what they did.

StraddleMyNose

Jul 9 @ 11:51AM  
I have to agree with Steve to some degree.

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Forgiving...How many chances?