Darkest before the dawn...
The silence like the darkness is thick and fits around me like a wooly blanket that tucks me into the night as though I was born to be a part of it...and I was.
Thoughts After Midnight...for it is now the wee hours of the morning. A place where I am comfortable and interruptions are unheard of. No knocks on my door and no ringing phone...just silence where my thoughts are free to run loose and stand before me to be scrutinized, studied and judged on their own merits.
I am a night person....as much a part of my id as my breathing and my heartbeat. I like that word "id"...my dictionary describes it as: The part of the psyche that is impelled towards fulfilling instinctual needs; the reservoir of libido.
My instinctual needs? To always search who I am and the wonders of the changes that takes place every day...the never-ending chameleon of the inner me. The influences of life that changes the hues and textures of my intellect and emotions. The flowing currents of the winds of change that lifts my spirits to the heights of exhilaration and to the depths of a soul empty and bereft.
Night time. As others sleep, I feel an awakening, a sharpness of thoughts and my emotional thermostat climbs into the comfort zone...alert and the curtains that shroud it throughout the day lift and mind pictures become clear and vivid and a peacefulness settles over me in the soft glow of the lamp and the hum of the summer fan wafting puffs of air across me like an unseen yet pleasant night visitor caressing my skin.
I don't always write at night but some of my best writings are born in the stillness of an hour when thoughts can dance freely and imagination gives vision to those thoughts, allowing them to be anything they want to be and go wherever they want to go without the restriction of daytime reality. Creativity is but a touch of my fingers upon my keyboard as my id is impelled towards fulfilling my instinctual needs...
As with all things instinctual...there is a darker side of our id....a darker side of night...a time when the demons of our unrest and the unresolved evolve from a part of our minds that we keep in the recesses where those shadows can only lurk but do no harm. Yet some nights they break loose and dance a torment that turns the darkness into a blackness that seems to stretch into eternity. The hands of the clock on the nightstand turn slowly and our hearts beat a little faster and as dawn approaches, that darkness has seeped into our souls until we feel lost in nothingness.
Then suddenly awareness touches our id....the first birdsong of the morning...a thin line of dawns light peeks through a slit in the blind and that darkness is overcome by the light.
And so it is with life. Night times don't last forever no matter how they sometimes seem to feel like it. For the most part, the reservoir of our libido is filled with good things, the shining light that burns in our hearts in our darkest hour...it's called hope. It's dreams and visions and imaginations where we create all the wonderful things of our hearts.
Those darkest hours before the dawn only touch us briefly and when the light filters through our curtains of thoughts, it is sweet beyond words and we know that most nights are filled with good things. Night thoughts are still the best, born out of stillness and solitude and without interruptions or distractions.
Thoughts after midnight....mine. Not to ever be considered the "norm" or of the generalizing kind. As I blog my thoughts they will belong solely to me...no one else. My imaginations will dance through my thoughts. Occasionally there will be a poem or a short story. Occasionally my thoughts will be serious as a heart attack....born of experience and wisdom of my years on this earth.
May your comments always be ones of respect and dignity.
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