Mother posted 6/20/2008 10:59:38 AM | 5 kudos what's this?     report abuse

Ewe_Wish

Isn't it amazing the things that make you think........I am blaming Irridum this week for putting my brain on overload.......... Yesterday in writing about how things were when I was growing up made me think about my mother more.......she passed away 2 1/2 yrs ago.........and I still think about her alot tho I probably miss her more now than I did before..........

The other day, my daughter and I were driving around so I could see how things had changed in the area I grew up and we passed the cemetary she is buried in and I couldn't stop.........my oldest daughter, my dad, my two oldest sisters are also buried there, amongst more of my late relatives, and yet it was due to my mother that I could not stop...........the pain was still too fresh.

My mother was and still is a big inspiration in my life.........she taught me the values and morals that I have today. She told me to stand up for myself no matter what...........and to stand up for my friends.........and I have tried to always do that, tho I have failed at times.........that doesn't make me a bad person......just makes me human.

My mother loved to write and did for many years...........she was a published author many times and although she never got her book published........she taught me that through writing...anything can be accomplished. I can still remember the hours that we together would go thru her book making little changes here and there........and I still have her manuscript..........she use to laugh and tell me that if I would just write the sexual portions of the book it probably would sell......she said she was too old to write erotic stuff..........I told her I hoped I never got that old and she would really laugh.

I remember at times thru my life i would quit writing and say there was nothing left in me to write..........and she would say You were born with red hair.......and no matter what color you could dye it......it will still be red..........you were born with blue eyes and no matter what color contacts you wear........your eyes will still be blue..........and you were born with a soul of a writer and whether you write or not........you are still a writer.......Maybe she knew that because it was true about herself.........

My mother was really into politics.........which is something she didn't pass onto me........but she worked with different groups like the Committee to Restore the Constitution, wrote for many politcal magazines and newspapers and even ran for State Legislature.........She told me that politics were exciting........I thought than as I do now..........Politics may be exciting but Politicians were crooks......When i asked her once why she kept fighting them........nothing would ever change.........she told me that you may not be able to fight city hall but you sure the hell can dance with it..........

She and my father took in 132 children in 35 yrs of marriage......these were children that no one wanted........they recieved no money for this......just opened their arms and said we will love you and let you find your way.........sometimes they stayed only for a week or two.......sometimes for years.....but they were my brothers and sisters even tho no blood ties were there.........they still are........Maybe thats where I was taught to stick up for the underdog.......where I was taught to share what i had......because there was less fortunate than me...

She worked so hard to keep us clothed and fed.......and yes I wore more homemade clothes and hand me downs than I care to remember........and yes I complained about those hours in the garden weeding and wondering why she had over 2 acres of garden and acre upon acre of potatoes......I hated having to clean the barn behind the cows and pigs and chickens.......and as a kid I can only remember being happy about having horses.......today I think back and wish I had realized that those gardens and animals fed us when we would have probably went hungry especially after my father got sick.......I hope I rememebered to tell her at least once how grateful I am for all she did for me..........perhaps its time to visit that cemetary...........I don't think its ever to late to say thank you.

The last time I talked to my mom, she was all excited.....Christmas was coming up and my daughter had just had my granddaughter.......and I was coming home. She told me how proud she was of me......and how much she loved me. We had these talks before but something was different about this one........I asked her if everything was ok and she told me no baby, I just think when you feel something about someone you should tell them, you never know when its going to be too late to say it. I was leaving on Monday morning to go to Minnesota as a friend was going there and giving me a ride.........on Saturday night my daughter called hysterical saying that Grandma had a heart attack and they are taking her to the hospital.........I immediately called my son and told him to head to Bemidji.....stop and get your sister I told him.......He never made it to my daughters house before she called me to tell me that Mom was gone.........I had missed seeing her by two days............

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Blogs by Ewe_Wish: Jokes of the Day!! It Finally Happened.......... Follow the Yellow Brick Road............ A weekend of AMD Blog Players Whether Ewe_wish it or not............I'm Back A Blogging Weekend at AMD Friends Storefront Sign Teen Pregnancy Pact? The Bucket List His Love A Good Day Mother Dancing in the Rain Call Me Notes on Ambiguity First Dates Craigslist for a Laugh.......... High Costs Take Away the Fun Things You May Never Know..........or at least I hope so Honesty Changes Hello I'm Back!! Ynot Have A Birthday Light at the End of the Tunnel............