Things I learned living in Texas .
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas .
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Texas
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. 'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.7. 'Jaw-P?' means, 'Did y'all go to the bathroom?
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. 'Fixinto' is one word.
10. There is no such thing as 'lunch.' There is only dinner and then there is supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.
12. Backwards and forwards means, 'I know everything about you.'
13. The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning, 'Did you eat?'
14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH EM.
16. 'No. Jew?' is a common response to the question, 'Did you bring any Coke?'
17. You measure distance in minutes.
18. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
19. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
20. You know what a 'DAWG' is.
21. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car.
22. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and Ketchup.
23. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and high school football.
24. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
25. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm.'
26. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.
27. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as 'goin' Wal-Martin' or 'off to Wally World.'
28. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good stew weather.
29. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
30. We don't need no dang driver's ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.
31. If you understand these jokes, forward them to your Texas friends and those who just wish they were from Texas .
32. OR Pass to a Yankee!
born in the south but raised in NY .......what the hell does that make me?? 
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| From MY Dad ........now ya'll know why I am how i am .... |
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Ewe_Wish
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Jun 15 @ 10:44AM
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From MY Dad ........now ya'll know why I am how i am .... Wow............that was close to what your dad told me.............he said...you were warped because you were like him..............  
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ynot7769
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Jun 15 @ 10:47AM
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he said...you were warped because you were like him..............
well...maybe a tad 
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girlcountry
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Jun 15 @ 12:10PM
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It makes you confused!!!
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Lisa46
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Jun 15 @ 12:27PM
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Sorry I've never talked to dad but I know mom and you two are JUST alike
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hornytoad55
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Jun 15 @ 3:56PM
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You Dad is a smart man. He does know us backwards and forwards.  I am sure you are fixinto tell armadillo is a possum on the half shell. 
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Sunshine79
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Jun 15 @ 6:21PM
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Love them, made me laugh!! 
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sugarnspice005
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Jun 15 @ 7:27PM
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28. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good stew weather.
That's a cool snap??? Dayum!!!! That's like still "keep the windows open and wear the shorts" weather here in Michigan. Good stew weather here is when daytime highs hit 22 degrees.
32. OR Pass to a Yankee!
Hey!! Imma a Yankee!!!!  
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rescueremedy
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Jun 15 @ 9:28PM
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Cute 
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Irridum
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Jun 15 @ 11:20PM
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Well Darn. I was fixin to visit Texas on my vacation but it sounds jest like Tennessee 
born in the south but raised in NY .......what the hell does that make me?? Messed Up? 
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casuallylooking
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Jun 16 @ 2:06AM
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24. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
That's what it says on Sums' calendar....
born in the south but raised in NY .......what the hell does that make me?? I'm not touchin that one for nuttin... lol
Actually it probably means you either have an accent or an attitude...... maybe both..
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StraddleMyNose
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Jun 16 @ 6:59AM
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It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.
That's what I kept telling Kim when she was here. 
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LilGriz
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Jun 16 @ 7:43AM
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You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and Ketchup
Trease must have told you what was in my cupboards
Had no problems understanding these. Are you sure we aint maybe even 1/4 long lost brothers 'cause Trease keeps tellin me I'm warped 
[QUOTE]You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.[QUOTE]
At least they had 4 seasons, up here in MN where it gets kinda chilly, we only have 2 seasons - Winter and Road Construction.
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Ewe_Wish
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Jun 16 @ 7:51AM
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That's what it says on Sums' calendar.... Nah...........for Sums its a season not a holiday, You know winter, spring, summer, and from sept 1 to january 1st is Hunting season for Sums............
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Ewe_Wish
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Jun 16 @ 7:52AM
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we only have 2 seasons - Winter and Road Construction LilGriz you need to come further North in Minnesota..........we have two seasons here too........9 months of winter and 3 months of rough sledding........
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sumdaysoon
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Jun 16 @ 1:04PM
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24. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
damn right...........i don't think it.........i know it
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straightup_9
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Jun 16 @ 4:47PM
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Backwards and forwards means, 'I know everything about you.'
It's actually "bakerds n fords"...
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