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FWB - Friends With Benefits

posted 5/18/2008 11:50:02 AM |
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  fukky

Friends With Benefits. What are your thoughts on it? Is it possible to have a "fuck buddy" and not have any emotions get involved?

I am especially curious to know what the women are thinking about the subject. We tend to be the more emotional ones. Can you be intimate in that way with someone and not want more?



Have you done it before? How did that turn out? Are you still friends?

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Comments:

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GSpotGina

May 18 @ 11:58AM  
Yes it is possible. I have and I'm still friends with them. If it turns out to be a one way street, meaning you, yourself is upholding your end of the deal, but the other is becoming emotionally involved... you might have to cut them off.

Again, there are those that may start off on that foot but end up with both feet walking down the aisle. You never know.
rnj1013

May 18 @ 12:00PM  
I'm still friends with 95% of my FWB's even if the benefits ran out for whatever reasons. It's easy to do if you just keep it to the sex and not all the shit that goes along with a relationship.
lemondrop

May 18 @ 12:09PM  
Never done it, never can!
I am one of those silly gals who can't keep her heart or head out of sex......I need there to be more of a connection to enjoy it, if the connection is unestablished there is no enjoyment, therefore, No!
Fair dues to those who can.
I can't.
alybai42

May 18 @ 12:52PM  
I can't have a FWB...I want more than that in my life..I thought about it at one time but just couldn't do it. I have feelings..and I was afraid those feelings would get hurt.
chocolatemilf

May 18 @ 12:56PM  
You may have all the good intentions for this to work.....but I, as a woman cannot have somebody making love (or even just hot monkey sexing) me without feelings getting involved...........I feel.......I can't help it..............that's why I find being a fuckbuddy hard.........I mean once or twice.........then cut them off cold turkey.......1 time= curiousity...more than that.......you're my boyfriend............ JMHO
nativeamr35

May 18 @ 1:04PM  
read "the story of Kat"

That one went on for a couple of years.
31sunshine

May 18 @ 2:37PM  
I've done it a couple of times. Whether it lasts really depends on a lot of circumstances.

Without any real connection I got bored with them real quick.

The key is to be open and honest with each other about your expectations. I know a guy who's a lifetime FWB kinda guy. He works out of town for weeks at a time so when he comes home, he makes up for it, with several friends. They know he's not exclusive and it works for him.

Not my cup of tea but hey, to each his own.
Coemgen

May 18 @ 2:37PM  
FWB seems like a great idea in theory, however I found that after a while all the rules start being broken. First it starts with sleeping over, then without realizing it you're holding hands and kissing each other goodbye. Emotions will get involved if not with both people, then at least with one. And if the other person doesn't have the same feelings, then the friendship is lost. I would recommend only becoming FWB with someone who you know for sure you don't really like all that much as a friend/person... this way a lot of the emotional issues can be avoided, and you won't have to worry about possibly losing a good friend.
lunanegra

May 18 @ 2:50PM  
Have you done it before? How did that turn out? Are you still friends?

I have,but for the most part my FWB's were college guys and so that means maybe 70-80% were from other cities and when they graduated,sadness ensued if either of us developed feelings...ok mostly me.Good news is that I keep in touch with a few,one that tends to come into town and visit few times out of the year and I know one who I "hang out" with on occasion.The concept of friends with benefits is kind of tricky,sometimes you can,sometimes you can't..purely case by case basis depending on the individual.I'm one of those who falls hard,which sucks for me,lol
Lisa46

May 18 @ 2:56PM  
I had one to be honest I didn't intend for it to happen. But it did then he moved away and well I wish it could have been more but he don't want a commitment. soooo oh well I will just move along until I find someone who rocks my heart and do without the sex
StraddleMyNose

May 18 @ 3:31PM  
It doesn't work with me. When I sleep with someone I'm giving part of myself to them, so I don't think it's possible for me to shut of my emotions.
singlestud125

May 18 @ 3:34PM  
I would say yes maybe if, all you did was have sex, and i mean you call them when you want some and meet somewhere and get it on, and thats it. But if you are friends on the side and hangout then your emotions will get in the way eventually.
Firefighterdan1

May 18 @ 3:36PM  
I can tell you as a guy I have been on both sides I have never had feeling for a FWB but once I started with a FWB and it turned into one of the worst relationships I was ever in and it lasted for 10 years!!!
cartiel

May 18 @ 4:33PM  
I've fucked around with some of my friends,the key is to remember that you are just friends so when you see him/her pass by with an intimate other it would be a good thing, a steping stone in their life,that way there is no confusion. And remember, when he/she needs you around, you can really be a friend with benefits :)
rnj1013

May 18 @ 4:48PM  
When I sleep with someone I'm giving part of myself to them,



This is exactly my point....I'm giving them my friendship first...the rest is just a bonus. i for 1 have never had a bad experience with FWB's.
loveableone

May 18 @ 6:00PM  
If I like someone enough to become intimate with them, then I already have feelings for them. So for me, FWB doesnt work.
casuallylooking

May 18 @ 6:47PM  
If I like someone enough to become intimate with them, then I already have feelings for them. So for me, FWB doesnt work.
Ditto!! For some it may be a great thing..but it's not for me. I want it all.
DRACULA_VwV

May 18 @ 7:57PM  
Let's start a million man march on Washington DC. Let's unite in an orgy for the world to see, Let's break the fvcken boundaries and tear down the walls, I don't think you motherfvckers even have the balls,

Let's protest war while we're fvcken a whore, Let's shoot our cum on everyone, have them begging for more, Let's get together, get naked and let's all bang, Come on baby, Don't you want to suck on my wang,

Let's start a million man march on Washington DC. Let's unite in an orgy for the world to see, Let's go to England, Fvck the queen on BBC.
40yearoldvirgin

May 18 @ 9:38PM  
I doubt I could do it. But I'd be willing to give it a try!
evild614

May 18 @ 11:04PM  
I've got 'em. My partner has 'em. Oddly enough, we're even friends with a few of one another's FWBs. I think the only thing we don't have is an FWB in common,
mdx71

May 20 @ 1:29AM  
Yes, I willl be your FWB Fukky.

Oh, that wasn't the question. Nevermind then.
Forsaken_Heart

Jun 10 @ 5:28PM  
yes i have done it a couple of times sometimes it works sometimes it does not. all depends on the people involved.
sweetguy34

Jul 1 @ 10:25PM  
i like the idea of having friends w/benfits she`s married she gives the best blowjobs
Grimm01

Aug 13 @ 4:55PM  
Maxim had an article for "Friends" with benefits. More or less you run a big chance ruining a friendship by fucking. It talked about the women in the FWB relationship developing feelings and heartbreak ensuing when the MALE just wanting a fuckbuddy. I have a friend myself that she has a "friend" with girlfriend who has fucked every one of his female "friends" (yes that means he fucked her) .

Friends are in my opinion who care for you enough to have your back and not want you on your back.

I have done one night stands and an one-time FWB (I prefer LTR)
Coemgen says what I tried to say
Coemgen
FWB seems like a great idea in theory, however I found that after a while all the rules start being broken. First it starts with sleeping over, then without realizing it you're holding hands and kissing each other goodbye. Emotions will get involved if not with both people, then at least with one. And if the other person doesn't have the same feelings, then the friendship is lost. I would recommend only becoming FWB with someone who you know for sure you don't really like all that much as a friend/person... this way a lot of the emotional issues can be avoided, and you won't have to worry about possibly losing a good friend.


PS. I work graveyard so If it seems to be a ramble (I am Tired)
john_sahmstroker

Sep 15 @ 9:12AM  
Does masturbation online count? I'm curious if the ladies here feel that is one way to be FWB.
Wordsofwit

Sep 15 @ 10:03AM  
I have found that the biggest downside of the FWB proposition is that if one person later becomes involved in an LTR, the friend is often either thrown into the closet or under the bus as a sacrificial lamb. If you really have cultivated and developed a close true friendship, that becomes a major loss. Yes, it is disturbing, but comes with the territory and is the nature of beast.
enchanted50

Sep 15 @ 9:35PM  
I've had a number of FWBs. They are all still good friends. We are all still open, I think, to repeat those intimate encounters, but all are friends who live at a distance. Having one nearby increases the likelihood of intimate exchange, and creates a proximity dynamic towards FWB looking very much like a relationship. I pulled back from one once because her expectations started shifting, pushing for greater frequency and move movie time, etc., which felt to me like we were headed into a relationship, and I knew we didn't have that kind of traction.

For me, its like any relationship. All relationships have shifting expectations, all have conflict, all have unmet desires and wants. What makes any of them work is communication and a level of honesty and self-awareness that helps one navigate with sensitivity and alertness to when things aren't going as expected by both parties and then being able to communicate effectively about such distorted expectations.
lunanegra

Sep 15 @ 9:53PM  
I have found that the biggest downside of the FWB proposition is that if one person later becomes involved in an LTR, the friend is often either thrown into the closet or under the bus as a sacrificial lamb. If you really have cultivated and developed a close true friendship, that becomes a major loss.

Nail on the head. Its not so much losing someone like that,but being their punching bag or shoulder to lean on if they and their bf/gf are having troubles. There's still the "friend" element there,so if you were once close,there's some emotional suffering deep down because they found someone and you still want to be "the good friend" for your sake, sometimes in hopes to be there if their relationship fails. Anyway,its a fucked up situation,that. No one knows it more than me at the moment.
Hotlovin69

Sep 15 @ 11:48PM  
It's great having a FWB. I have a couple of them. We always have a great time and have great safe sex !! We are very intimate with each other. We enjoy lots of kissing,touching,caressing,licking and pleasing each other orally. Sometimes after a hard day at work all you want is a really good hard hot FUCK !!!!
chaletok

Nov 5 @ 8:09PM  
Is it possible to have a "fuck buddy" and not have any emotions get involved?
Absolutely-because it HAS to be that way. If there is interest in more / emotions involved its not FWB, its a relationship. The two things don't coexist.
aftershox

Nov 5 @ 10:26PM  
As an older woman, I have become free of some of the usual hard-wired needs of a woman for security, creating a nest, all those things that spell out monogamy. Those things that makes you jealous or hurt if an intimate partner (aka fuck buddy) finds happiness with someone else.

I love and have loved men who are loyal to their wives (note: I said loyal and not faithful -- I make a distinction). Friendship is based on alot of the same things as a relationship : shared values, shared experiences, similar likes and dislikes and that undefinable element, chemistry.

I am not bi but have had 3 ways with gf and we are friends and confidants as well as lovers.
AloneNow

May 20 @ 2:18PM  
It really depends on the people and the circumstances. I had one and he was a great friend, a fantastic lover and it lasted over 5 years. We are still friends and see each other once in a while. It did stop for a while due to medical reasons and I moved further away. We are still in contact and see each other once in a while.
zabada69

Sep 22 @ 10:38AM  
It can and does work, but only with the right mindset. In my past, I have had several FWB's and we are still great friends to this day. We have moved on but still have a great bond and friendship. So I think it just really depends on where you are in life and what you want and finding someone who is in the same spot.

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FWB - Friends With Benefits