AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Free Dating

I wish I had a PENIS!!

posted 5/13/2008 11:03:12 PM |
4 kudosgive kudos what's this?
    report abuse
tagged: penis, laugh, sunshine
  Sunshine79

Yeah, sometimes I wish I had a penis of my own. I'd want one because then when I had to pee, I could just whip it out and start marking my territory. I'd piss on everything!!! From office plants to sidewalks to pools to tires. Yeah, I said it. I hate having to be a lady and always waiting in long lines to use some dirty ass bathroom. See, if I had a penis, I wouldn't have to worry about squatting. I could stand there and let it flow. Not aim if I didn't want to, just piss all over just because.
I'd use it to write my name in the snow. I could piss in Mt. Dew bottles on long trips and leave the bottles in the back seat for some unsuspecting passenger....I could piss on people that enjoyed being pissed on....If I had a penis, I'd probably jerk it off all day long. I'd probably pet it and squeeze it 98% of the day, I mean why not, it's there just dangling between my legs for God's sake. I'd use it to smack my significant other in the face with. I'd dip it in pudding and make them suck it off....I'd dress it up and take pictures. But, you see.....I can't do any of this because I don't have a penis.

So, any one wanna let me borrow theirs??

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

   read more blogs!

Blogs by Sunshine79:
Funny Chinese Proverbs!!
Wanna Fuck??
Bitch Slapped!
Why Sunshine Carries 2 Cardboard Men In Her Car.....
Anti-Rape Condom------What are your thoughts??
I wish I had a PENIS!!
For All AMD Ladies!!!
The Ant & The Grasshopper (Revised) For all the political people!
LAWS OF LIFE----------LMAO!
I Squirted Where??


Comments:

post a comment!

ThePurpleProphet

May 13 @ 11:10PM  


I'll share mine with you.

And gatorade bottles are easier to piss into than Mt Dew bottles.
mrknowuwell

May 13 @ 11:11PM  
only if i kin borrow yer va jay jay
StraddleMyNose

May 13 @ 11:20PM  
I would like it more if you still had a pussy and wanted to piss on everything around you...
PleasureAwaits

May 13 @ 11:21PM  
ROFL! I spend two percent of my day here to hear about the other 98%?! What gives!

Funny story about dew bottles and long trips. Had to cut one open once so that the one without a penis could make it through the canyon. It's possible but damned inconvenient.
Supakid2

May 13 @ 11:24PM  
I've done just about all you mentioned
lunanegra

May 13 @ 11:29PM  
Yeah,but- wouldn't someone have enough sense to sniff the bottle before they drink it?
l00kin4myprince

May 13 @ 11:54PM  
Finally someone that sees it the way I do.. Only I want one so I can slap stupid ass women with it.
cottoncandydragon

May 13 @ 11:59PM  
Love it! But I have to say, for my birthday, a dear friend gave me a realistic strap-on. He said I've always acted like I had a cock and he thought it was time to give me one of my own.
(Do you think he was just tired of me using his all the time?)
funnygirl730

May 14 @ 4:36AM  
i always said god didn't give me one cause he knew i wouldn't get a thing done but play with it,
sumdaysoon

May 14 @ 6:54AM  
i know i know ya got plenty more offers........but you can use mine anytime ya want.........
tassie1

May 14 @ 7:37AM  
then I'd have to give you that same advice my ole man gave me many years ago...

don't let ya dick rule ya life. !


* never was one for listening to parental advice
princealucard

May 14 @ 7:38AM  
I'm with straddle on this one, u can still pee on everything without a penis, sunshine!
justa_country_boy

May 14 @ 8:03AM  
and don't forget If you had a penis you could stick it in every orfice of some drunk chic you met at the Bar. Good Times There
shyone_4u699

May 14 @ 8:23AM  
Awww SunShine.......You now have me thoroughly confused. All this time, I thought some ladies wanted a penis just to show off with the rest of the guys. You've shed a whole new light on "Penis Envy."

P.S. I was about 15 at the time, and my dad overheard me telling a friend If I'd been a girl, there'd be a whore in the family. He was not happy to say the least. I do believe my meaning was a bit different, though. I was just HORNY!! And girls had ALL the say about having sex.
straightup_9

May 14 @ 9:48AM  
Good blog.....

[QUOTE]
straightup_9

May 14 @ 9:53AM  
this is to finish the last post...lol

And gatorade bottles are easier to piss into than Mt Dew bottles.

I used to use those...but one summer one of those little girls came by me, on I-65, with her little mini-skirt all hiked up around her waist...took me damn near an hour to get that bottle loose......
juliecd

May 14 @ 10:05AM  

I would let you use mine but I need it for my sex change surgery.

Julie
greatsax

May 14 @ 10:10AM  
They are marked down at Wal Mart this week...
soft_touch938

May 14 @ 11:22AM  
I used to use those...but one summer one of those little girls came by me, on I-65, with her little mini-skirt all hiked up around her waist...took me damn near an hour to get that bottle loose......

OMG....ROFL......

Ii always said god didn't give me one cause he knew i wouldn't get a thing done but play with it,

I'm with funnygirl....me too!

Good blog sunshine....my same thoughts exactly! Gotta leave a kudo for my first morning laugh! Thanks!
40DWM

May 14 @ 2:15PM  
Finally someone that sees it the way I do.. Only I want one so I can slap stupid ass women with it.

Ummm, like that's a bad thing? Most of 'em like to be slapped stupid with one.
rjl1987

May 14 @ 2:20PM  
Lol, you can borrow mine if you want. But you're right its pretty fun having a penis, I love it! Another great blog!
shellsmack

May 14 @ 5:04PM  
You go girl!!
sumdaysoon

May 14 @ 8:35PM  
i just wish i had a.......bigger.....one.......
greatsax

May 14 @ 9:40PM  
Here is your kudo I forgot..in my last comment...by the way...I'm with Sum...I wish mine was bigger too...but I know how to slap people with it if they get ornery
GSpotGina

May 14 @ 10:17PM  
Sums? You want a bigger bicep?
ravenshield

Jun 8 @ 5:31PM  
you can borrow mine anytime you want babe

free dating | mission statement | testimonials | safety warning | report abuse | safe list | privacy | legal | 2257 | advertise | link to us

© Copyright 2000-2014 Online Singles, LLC.
OS-WEB01
I wish I had a PENIS!!