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The Ant and the Grasshopper- continued.

posted 5/13/2008 2:46:36 PM |
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  evild614

The ant needs a shelter built and supplies stocked up for the upcoming winter. He's probably capable of doing it himself, but he comes from a long and noble line of ants who have always been above doing manual labor since they came over in 1604. So he says to the wasp, "see that theyah grasshoppah? He could be a mahghty fahn source'a labuh, if only he could be in-tim-o-dated intah the job. If you help meh persuade him, I'll give you ten percent of our newfound pro-duck-tivitah."

The wasp agrees, and the grasshopper is set to task, building an anthill and gathering food. He is not allowed any share of the profit from this venture, nor does he have any opportunity to start his own winter project. If he has energy to put to gathering supplies, it should be for the ant's stores.

Winter arrives, and the ants, along with their wasp friend, are enjoying a nice big meal in their warm shelter, looking at the window at the starving, freezing grasshopper outside. "What's the matter with that poor chap?" Asked one of the ant's out-of-town relatives.
"Pay no mahnd to that layzuh grasshoppah. It's a proven fact that insects of the green persuasion are lazuh, trafflin, no-good fools that can't get anything done. He's starvin' out of his own folleh."
"I see. Pity he didn't work harder over the summer," said Aunt ant.

By the time February rolls around, the grasshopper is near the brink of death. Angry, desperate, and determined to survive, he sneaks into the anthill late one night to warm his frozen limbs and take a bite of food- food he had harvested in the first place. He steps on a crumpled leaf, waking the wasp, who sees the grasshopper on the spot and kills him. All the ants come out and see what the grasshopper had done. "Not onleh are grasshoppahs lazuh and dumb, they're sneakeh, theivin' sons o' bitches to boot," says the grasshopper. Ann Coulter, Glen Beck, Bill O'Rielley and Rush Limbaugh are called in to report on the attempted robbery.

Soon, grasshoppers across the country are banned from living near anthills. Anthills with grasshoppers nearby become worthless, so the ants sell them to move into grasshopper-free areas, patrolled by armed wasps. It becomes nearly impossible for a grasshopper to buy a home in a WASP neighborhood, even if he somehow has the money. The ants, now terrified of grasshoppers, import cicadias from down south to do their labor, but they've learned their lesson- now the cicadias get just enough to survive. But to keep the cicadias from actually living in the areas where they work, the grasshoppers employing them broadcast about how the cicadias aren't supposed to be there in the first place- they're stealing jobs from those poor grasshoppers! Wasps are sent to remove cicadias from ant neighborhoods, with the exception of cicadias that are working for the ants.

Moral of the story: If you want a history lesson, talk radio is a poor substitute for cracking open a book.

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Comments:

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Wordsofwit

May 13 @ 2:53PM  
That is a funny twist on that right wing BS. I hate political squawk radio.
shyone_4u699

May 13 @ 3:02PM  
Speaking of a misguided soul? By The Way.........You fake southern accent sucks. If you Must..at least learn how words are pronounced, least you look any more foolish.
evild614

May 13 @ 3:15PM  
It's not a hillbilly accent, it's a deep south gentry accent. If you want, I could do midwestern redneck as well.

Being from the South, you should know that there's more than one accent.
shyone_4u699

May 13 @ 3:35PM  
Deep South Gentry Accent?? You really are a misguided soul. I'd bet the farm you've NEVER even been in the south, DEEP or otherwise. I don't think you'd know a "Deep South Gentry Accent" if it hit you in the face. Typical attitude of those with negative views of southerners in general. Now, I'm going to leave you to your misguided devices. People believe what they choose to believe.
evild614

May 13 @ 3:52PM  
Not only have I been up and down the East Coast south of DC and Appalachian Trail more times than you can count on your six toes, I spent nearly four months in fall/winter 05-06 digging your ignorant, ungrateful, "Gee I thought my trailer could float" asses out, working from Mobile to Port Arthur. Every stitch of clothing I came down with was consumed by mold- it was either that or go naked. Go right on ahead and spit in our faces, because next time you vote an independent-spirited, no-federal-aid Republican into office and then promptly need bailing out, we're just going to watch you sink.
ThePurpleProphet

May 13 @ 4:06PM  
Gee I thought my trailer could float

That's why if I get a trailor, I'll get one with a basement. That way if it floods I have a place to hide.
shyone_4u699

May 13 @ 4:10PM  
Whatever you did in Mobil/Port Authur had absolutely nothing to do with ME. As to your doing a civic duty, I'm sure those people appreciate it. Again, what EVER you did there, you didn't learn anything about a "DEEP SOUTH SOUTHERN ACCENT." It was STILL a piss poor fake..

The only folks with six toes usually implys inbreeding. I'd say that is very much more related to your ancestory. As to your "Trailer Trash" implication, you're better prepared to speak to that as well. Have a nice life!!
xquseme

May 13 @ 5:35PM  
Um....Wasn't Abraham Lincoln, the author of the Emancipation Proclamation.....a REPUBLICAN??

Wasn't his administration...ANTI slavery??

Didn't the, er, "cicadias" (sic) come to THIS country of their OWN VOLITION??

And aren't Glenn Beck, Bill O'Reilly, et.al., merely responding to the LIBERAL DEMOCRATIC
rhetoric...with their OWN????

The problem with analogies is that they are rarely accurate...sometimes along with
the original premise!!!

Oh--sorry......Rant over....Please--continue bickering!!!
shyone_4u699

May 13 @ 6:11PM  
xquseme.......Very Good observation! It was not my intent to bicker. I just took exception to some things said that was less that complimentary to the region of my birth/home. Then, to a back handed cut at my ancestory. Frankly, I'm finished with it. I've made my point.
xquseme

May 13 @ 6:18PM  
It was not my intent to bicker. I just took exception to some things said

I don't blame you!
Wordsofwit

May 13 @ 6:19PM  
We now take you to our regularly scheduled program, Celebrity Deathmatch, Sharpton vs. Limbaugh
xquseme

May 13 @ 6:33PM  
Ah, WoW, I'm disappointed! You and I usually see eye to eye!!

The fact is that NO political system is foolproof. Communism, for example, is foolproof....
ON PAPER! When you add in human imperfections and frailties, however (greed, for
example), the system falls apart.

The same can be said for nearly any aspect of a democracy. Neither Republicans nor
Democrats will be right EVERY time...and neither can be blamed every time, either.
You must consider the human condition, the history behind the current situation, and
the underlying philosophies of each side before you judge. What may seem like an
evil precept to one group may seem equally appropriate to another group.

If either party could be PROVEN wrong....it would have been culled from the democratic
process long ago!

JMHO...
Sunshine79

May 13 @ 7:24PM  
That was quite funny, thanks!

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The Ant and the Grasshopper- continued.