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"You want to do what?!" Revealing your fetishes

posted 5/8/2008 6:59:10 PM |
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tagged: fetishes, relationships

As a straight person, I have no idea what it’s like “coming out” for a gay person. I would imagine deciding to come out of the closet involves a lot of fear, second guessing, worrying about being judged, worrying that the people you love won’t love you anymore. No, it’s not something straight people have to worry about… or is it? I think there is an equivalent to coming out that most straight people face at least once in their lives. This would be telling your lover about your fetishes. That’s fetishes, plural; because let’s face it, who has just one?

In my younger, inexperienced days, I made the mistake of telling girls about my fetishes too early in the relationship. It wasn’t long after the first kiss that I would simply let all hang out… the things I wanted to do to her, the things I wanted her to do to me, the things I wanted her to do to other people if the situation presented itself. Of course, the result being that I scared them off and wondered why they weren’t interested in me anymore. Eventually I learned my lesson and waited a bit longer to reveal my fetishes. Waited until she really knew me and liked me and wouldn’t think I was a total perv just because of my fantasies.

Nevertheless, it’s still scary revealing my fetishes to a new lover. I wait for just the right moment, sweating, worrying what she will think. Will she be accepting, disgusted, curious, or maybe even equally as excited? I finally tell her. I see her eyes get all wide and her mouth drop open. I can tell she’s thinking to herself “I can’t believe the things this guy who I thought was sweet, nice, and normal just told me!!”. At this point she makes her reply. There are several possible replies, depending on the fetish. She can flat out say no and tell me that she will never do that… ever. She can say that she’s not really into that, but she will do it to make me happy. She can offer a fetish trade-off.... in other words she will fulfill my fetish that’s she’s not really into if I will fulfill her fetish that I’m not really into. Or… and this is the dream scenario… she will smile and tell me that she shares my fetish and can’t wait to do it with me. Alas, the dream scenario has never happened to me. I’ve had the flat out no, the “I’ll do it just to make you happy” and even the fetish trade-off once, but I’ve never had a lover who has been as into my fetishes as I am. Hopefully someday this will happen to me. Oh well, at least I don’t scare girls off when I reveal my fetishes anymore.

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May 8 @ 8:01PM  
I come straight out with loving to play with my toys, enjoying being spanked and having my hair pulled....Rather tell someone right then and there, if they don't like it, they can take a hike. This way, there are no awkward moments in the bedroom when it comes time!

May 8 @ 10:17PM  

I'm like dying to know what your fetishes are now......

May 8 @ 10:58PM  
I agree with Ash - praythee, what's your fetishes!!

Tell me yours and I'll tell you mine!!

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"You want to do what?!" Revealing your fetishes