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Remember when insults had class?

posted 5/8/2008 11:15:51 AM |
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  slohand_47

These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words, not to mention waving middle fingers.

An exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison," and he said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I now." - Abraham Lincoln

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first n ight of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is
one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -
Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." Jack E. Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

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Comments:

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lemondrop

May 8 @ 11:22AM  

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating


An exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison," and he said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

Shoulda been written for my ex and and I!!! Friggin brill.........kudos for you slo.
xxx
LD
sawduster

May 8 @ 11:26AM  
ah yes,those glorious bits of prose that sent many a chuckle thu the world. i love 'em. now why can't people today be so creative.
rescueremedy

May 8 @ 11:46AM  
I love this one ..
."I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

People had class then .... they knew how to words to get their point across . Wonderful blog ! Kudo
1bunny629

May 8 @ 11:50AM  
No prose here...just a statement...Why talk down about the one you used to love when you were the one who loved them? kinda makes you look stupid...
Wordsofwit

May 8 @ 11:54AM  
I was watching Jay Leno last night and Jimmy Carter was a guest. He quoted his mother, Ms Lillian saying, "When I look at my children, I should have remained a virgin."

Kudo for ya
lemondrop

May 8 @ 11:59AM  
Ah bunny........thin line between love and hate. And if a person never acted stupidly we would never learn or progress. Those who think they know it all have the furthest to fall.
lunanegra

May 8 @ 1:12PM  
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
I second this one.


"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -
Irvin S. Cobb
Ouch.


"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
Awesome.


"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain



"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
I'm going to have to use that sometime.










justa_country_boy

May 8 @ 1:50PM  
I can't believe Bugs Bunny didn't make the list with "What a nin cow poop what a marooon"

It was a cool blog but what people fight over
beefygoblin

May 8 @ 1:52PM  
Some of the insults from those days had little or no class... "a sail a sail" .

Some of the least classy insults are rather old.


1bunny629

May 8 @ 2:19PM  
yes honey, we all learn from our mistakes and others...sometimes it is difficult to face, but as i said trashing someonelse doesn't help you learn...negatives are deficites...
ladybootscooter

May 8 @ 6:17PM  
some of my favorites are by the late Ann Richards, former governor of Texas.

Poor George, he can't help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth. [1988 keynote address, Democratic National Convention]

I am delighted to be here with you this evening because after listening to George Bush all these years, I figured you needed to know what a real Texas accent sounds like. [1988 keynote address, Democratic National Convention]
slohand_47

May 9 @ 10:08AM  
Had to work so couldn't respond until today. Thanks all for commenting.

Bunny, I'd probably agree with you...... in principle. IF you read any of these, however, you'd have noticed that none of them were directed at a spouse; ex or otherwise. Rather, they are directed at insults from strangers or casual aquaintences.

The POINT is........ today people respond to an insult with violence, F-Bombs, or the Pee Wee classic....... I know you are, but what am I??
Wit is seldom observed.

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Remember when insults had class?