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Did Your Wife Ever Change?

posted 5/6/2008 11:17:15 AM |
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Have any of you guys ever had your wife be your best friend, lover, companion only for all of that to change after the kids were born? Maybe your size six became a size sixteen?

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May 6 @ 11:22AM  
My daughter and husband are kind of caught in the middle of that issue with his sister and her husband.

I never had to deal with that issue in my marriage, but a good friend of mine did several years ago. He wound taking it to the streets and having an affair. Then his sister in law saw them and ratted him. They got into an argument over it, naturally and he said the funniest thing.

He told her that, "even if a man was being served prime rib he would like a some leg of lamb once in a while and I have been on a diet of fish and pork for the last two years!"

They divorced shortly there after.

May 6 @ 11:25AM  
Well, never been married, but it happened usually after getting engaged....paid less attention to the relationship...less friendly...gained more weight.....the things that they thought were cute and desirable before getting engaged, became a nuisance, Became very overbearing and dominant, non sexual, and a couple times even changed their minds about having kids in the first place...and usually started cheating , and expected me to just accept that...I think somebody forgot to tell them to at least wait until after the wedding....

May 6 @ 12:13PM  
WoW...just wanted to make a disclaimer...These comments are NOT directed at you....but, rather at your Son-in-law's Sister's Husband...

Everyone changes....Mentally, as well as physically.....Too many people want to brush past that "...better or worse" part of marriage, and focus only on the "better" part.

Maybe your size six became a size sixteen?

What?...You think maybe she PLANNED this, just to punish you for some unknown offense you committed?...And your solution is to find someone else to have sex with?
Suppose SHE went out and found some old, fat, out-of-shape slob to "fuck" because she got fat, and YOU didn't.....

If you have reached the point where you are bringing children into the world, then it's time to forget about that "lavalier" swinging between your legs and concentrate on your family.

He told her that, "even if a man was being served prime rib he would like a some leg of lamb once in a while and I have been on a diet of fish and pork for the last two years!"

Well, He was the one buying the "groceries"... ....And put himself in the position of leaving a "banquet" to go to McDonald's....

A very thoughtful's a greenie.....


May 6 @ 12:21PM  
No but my husband did. Not that these were the reasons that we split, but he got bald and gained alot of weight in the 13 yrs we were together. And gray, OMG what little hair he had left got soooo gray! So for these reasons alone I should have been screwing around??? Damn, wish I'd known!

May 6 @ 12:24PM  
I'll let you know when I get a wife!!

May 6 @ 12:40PM  
Maybe your size six became a size sixteen?

What?...You think maybe she PLANNED this

There are other issues too like not wanting to go anywhere without the kids and she allegedly won't try to do anything about her weight such as start exercising/working out or go on a diet.

May 6 @ 1:16PM  

Men do the same thing.. just to throw that in, they don't see it in themselves just like some women don't see it in themselves.

Anyway, miscommunication is one of the top reasons people split. As far as the weight issue, if a man has an issue with his wife's weight gain, or vice versa, I think he should address AND resolve the issue with her. Diet together. If she refuses, he should inform her that it is detrimental to their relationship. It may sound harsh, but so is leaving her cause she's fat compared to when they got together.... or whatever the issue is.

May 6 @ 1:36PM  
I believe a lot of it hinges on personal accountability and responsibility. Everyone seems to looks for excuses and not reasons; point the finger at the other person because it can’t be me with the problem. If people looked in the mirror first and were honest with them self there would be a lot less finger pointing and blame accessing. Then again that can’t work because too many cannot be honest with themselves. And honesty is a another issue; I remember a time when a persons word and a handshake was more binding than any contract but today a person can stand look you in the eye telling you something that both know is a lie yet both take it as fact.

May 6 @ 5:51PM  
Mine ended up not being able to keep her nose off a mirror. That was 12 years ago. It still sucks to loose a best friend like that, it still hurts.

May 6 @ 6:17PM  
If you love someone size shouldn't matter.

Yes, I was 120 lbs when I got married and 150 pounds when I got divorced 15 years later. That happens to women after having children and growing older. If my husband had really loved me - it wouldn't have mattered.


May 6 @ 8:36PM  
When married I was okay with physical changes, the ups and downs, the ins and outs, so long as we were both working towards some common goal as a united front. When it became apparent that this wasn't the case, and over the course of years became clear this would never be the case, that's when I put my foot down. One can tango with a partner who changes however one cannot tango with a partner who refuses to dance. Big difference in my opinion.

May 6 @ 9:46PM  
No, I am not married, but I had to state my opinion anyways. I am of the mind that if you love someone, you love them for their heart, and what you created together, the connection that helped you become an "us". I dont want to be with a guy who says "You are awesome, but I cant wait to see what you look like when you lose weight" That is not gonna happen - I have men who are interested in me for me NOW, not what I will look like when I do lose weight. Its amazing what one can find when they look beyond the first appearance.

I believe that when I do get married, I wont give a shit if he balds and gains weight, as long as we still communicate and are best friends, that will be good enough for me!! Perhaps my opinion will change if I ever get married and divorced - but my plans are to marry only once, for life!! Have a wonderful evening!!!

May 6 @ 10:18PM  
Yeah, but once the fake caring and whatnot is gone....all you have left is looks.....I know you can't have both looks and love....but gosh darnit...what happens when you can't have either...yes, people change...but when they won't listen , or even talk to you, ...and it happens so many times....ya get pretty paranoid. And people are somewhat blinded because it happens over a period of time, so it's a gradual thing, and they just don't see it themselves...and they refuse to admit it's their fault at all when they finally do see what's goin on. At times, I think it would be easier to just get another horse and give up on women. It always starts out so good...but it never bring your girl..woman flowers,write poetry, little mushy notes, and do little things here and there..they get used to it..and expect it, and they just expect more and more, and give less and less. As with most other things in life, they stop appreciating things you do...and just don't notice it...until you stop, and then you get your head ripped off for not being caring and spoiling them...or maybe it's just the women I date..or get engaged to..If only I'd get up the courage to chase after the kind of woman I want, instead of just accepting the ones who come to me....I guess it is my fault, but still....I do have a right to cry foul when they get like that. It just isn't right on so many levels....

May 6 @ 10:32PM  
Yes, people change...but there is a point where, sometimes, they change so much that they no longer resemble the person you fell for......and when that it right to say that they are not the person you fell in love with? When they stop being the friend you could talk to, their attitude changes...they cut their hair real short, they just all out become someone totally's like starting to date someone different halfway through the relationship, and not different in good ways...when you fall for someone for several reasons, and then they go and change those traits about themselves, both physical and emotional, and can you continue to feel the same way you used to?

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Did Your Wife Ever Change?