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I have arrived in douche

posted 5/3/2008 4:44:40 PM |
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  beefygoblin

Any special ladies who reside in douche - whom wish to make a connection with me have two weeks.

Thats right, I have finaly arrived in New Jersey.

I had to get up at the crack of dawn to catch a flight, due to my reasonably houred flight yesterday having been canceled due to (get this) overcast (ie clouds).


The new jersey devil is out to do us all a favor. He's eating the douches before they ripen.


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Comments:

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rnj1013

May 3 @ 4:48PM  
Know what the difference between trash and Jersey girls is?











Trash gets picked up
Sunshine79

May 3 @ 4:51PM  
What the hell do you do in Jersey anyway??
DarkDesires99

May 3 @ 5:13PM  
@rnj1013 comment!
hopon

May 3 @ 6:22PM  
the armpit of America.....
OdysseusMI

May 3 @ 8:18PM  
Armpit of America? Can't be worse than Detroit. This where America sticks the tube when it want to give itself an enema.
kingdongilingus

May 3 @ 9:21PM  
Dude, even I have been, and seen, the mighty mighty Douchebaggery that IS the New Jersey.

A few things caught my eye: (Like LA, and New York, and god forbid, Shitcago)

(A)The smell caught my eye, because it is so fucking bad, my eyes swelled up and I cried. NOTE TO SELF: Do not drain raw sewage into a city at any given time and wonder why it stinks. Especially after you dumped all your dirty needles into the infected river next door on a hot summer day, with no breeze............

(B)Homeless people. In oklahoma, we call them "normal". In fact, they are called "family" and live with you, or vice versa. SO much for economy stimulus.
Up there, they make more money than I do working..........

(C)Dreary isn't the word. Traffic is insane, as is some of the people.

(D)Only the New York Giants are located in New Jersey. I fucking laughed when I saw the stadium. I then did a donut in the parking lot with my '97 Freightliner. Actually, I didn't, but I thought about it seriously.

(E)Whoever did your mile markers that don't go a mile at a time, instead being mile markers that go less than a quarter mile, is fucking smoking WAY too much Leafy Cabbage.

(F)I used to drive for a living. I STILL fucking got lost, no matter what (pre-gps people). I could make 4 right turns and STILL end up going fucking left at the stop light.

(G)I met a guy during Desert Storm once from New Jersey who actually had never seen a live cow before................

Have fun, and remember, the bigger the bat you pack, the less likely your ass will get rolled like a John in Jersey.............
rnj1013

May 3 @ 9:36PM  
(A)The smell caught my eye, because it is so fucking bad,


That's why it's called The Garbage State. NY and certain parts of Conn and PA use NJ as their official dumping ground. How stupid do you have to be to say to other states "sure, come dump your rancid garbage here"
kingdongilingus

May 3 @ 9:39PM  
Ha! RNJ, that is why they always say, "Home is home, that is why I am passing through AND DAMNED if I am staying here!".

Jersey STATE is nice (well, better than few places I have seen).
mcroxton

May 3 @ 11:04PM  
I've never been to New Jersey. Forgive me for being ignorant, but why all the jokes? Is it really that bad?
Nathanial

May 3 @ 11:12PM  
sure....think of how dirty a bathtub gets after 30 people try to shower in it at once...adddisease, drugs, open wounds, chemicalwarfare, and a ground level nuclear detonation, and you have a small taste of what jersey can be like on a good day......the nights are even worse.

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I have arrived in douche